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*||VirMan Partners for Life: Pg.93-LastUpdate||* (Page 61)

shaimah Goldie
shaimah
shaimah

Joined: 17 July 2010
Posts: 1727

Posted: 10 June 2012 at 11:34am | IP Logged
continue soon and do pm me!!

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Athira_Lalmon Groupbie
Athira_Lalmon
Athira_Lalmon

Joined: 16 December 2011
Posts: 76

Posted: 10 June 2012 at 11:35am | IP Logged
Ok, before I say anything else, That precap was definitely a tearjerker! Wish I wouldn't cry buckets when I read the next part, but with your writing I know I will; i'd better fetch them now itself.
I could literally feel Manvi's loneliness and desolation in this part. I liked how Manvi restrained herself from being blinded by jealousy. Its admirable that she's not holding any ill feelings towards Seema. That shows her inner maturity. But even maturity can't prevent the emotions she's experiencing, and definitely not her argument with Virat. Manvi and Seema haven't got to know each other well, Virat hasn't really made an effort to make that happen. And on one fine day, he asks Manvi to reveal her innermost secret, which is hidden even from her di? His intention is good, it's in Manvi's best interest, but he hasn't handled it the way he should have. He hasn't balanced his relationship with Manvi and his friendship with Seema, just like Jeevika with her sister and family in the show. Like bhabi like Devar :-D
The Jeeju-Saali scene was wonderful. I was really happy when Manvi decided to tell her jeeju, knowing full well that he can't keep it from Jeevika. Enough of the hiding business!
a point: 'Giju' seems a bit strange for me while reading. If you're ok, then can you change it to 'jiju' or even 'jeeju'?
Don't worry about being carried away by sisterly love in this part. It was really necessary at this stage. Loved how Manvi prepared Jeevika for the truth. I don't know whether you're planning to show Jeevika breakdown, but I really want Manvi to break down about the Virat-Seema thing to Jeevika, and Jeevika comforting her. Jeevika knowing about virman would become tensed, but I have full faith in her, she'd definitely support it for Manvi's happiness.
*looking up and reading what I've typed* woah! So much! Need to get to the point and wind up..
Brilliantly written, you've successfully brought out Manvi's emotions, the characters and situations are handled really well. I feel like I'm reading an alternate version of the show. although I don't think Virat would leave Manvi alone to such an extend, I don't mind, it is a possibility and you've presented it well.
Eagerly waiting for the next part. Continue soon..
Athira

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misaki IF-Dazzler
misaki
misaki

Joined: 10 March 2012
Posts: 3101

Posted: 10 June 2012 at 12:31pm | IP Logged
ok hate virat givin so much importance 2 seema...hate it!!!!!...ignorin manvi..virat hw cud u?!!!!Angry
but then loved the behna part!
thnk u fr the update...
aww cant wait 2 read the next part!...virat see the consequence of not payin attention 2 manvi?!...
pls update soon..
thnk u fr the pm..Smile

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arohi16 Goldie
arohi16
arohi16

Joined: 20 April 2012
Posts: 1471

Posted: 10 June 2012 at 12:35pm | IP Logged
loved the behna scene!!
continue soon...thanx for the pm!!

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hooriaa IF-Dazzler
hooriaa
hooriaa

Joined: 03 May 2011
Posts: 3740

Posted: 10 June 2012 at 3:20pm | IP Logged
I was in so much tears with the behna part it was so touching made me cry and VirMan Scenes was so sad too virat couldnt understand how lonely and left out manvi was feeling i hope he realises soon but the precap is OMG!!!
Virat Couldnt save manvi frim getting hurt im so eager for the next part continue asap and more VirMan parts as u promised
Do Pm Me

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shuruli Senior Member
shuruli
shuruli

Joined: 03 June 2012
Posts: 355

Posted: 10 June 2012 at 3:36pm | IP Logged
hi dear lvly updt!!!!!!!!!!
luvd d jiju sali n behna sceneit brought tears 2 my eyes lvd it!Cry
so emosnl...
wy no pm dis tymCry
itz k i undrstn ur bsy wit so mny stories it mite b messy...Smile
bt do pm me ur virman stries wen u updt dey r awsm...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Big smile

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isha.raj_98 Senior Member
isha.raj_98
isha.raj_98

Joined: 11 February 2012
Posts: 515

Posted: 10 June 2012 at 4:24pm | IP Logged
omg i read both updates on ur other story as well loved them both pm me!!!!

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isha.raj_98 Senior Member
isha.raj_98
isha.raj_98

Joined: 11 February 2012
Posts: 515

Posted: 10 June 2012 at 4:40pm | IP Logged
omg im really worried bout the precap n lovely update on the sisters n the jeeju-sali relationship pm me!!!!

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