PART 4: The guilt, the repentance and loneliness.
The RM was unnaturally quiet that afternoon...
(its 4 O'clock..) Khushi runs to her bedroom, collapses on the bed...looks around the room she had become so used to...when suddenly...
Khushi(Looks at those stars dangling from the ceiling..and snatches one of them, the string comes off and it breaks. She started to take off all of them, then she moved in a daze, onto the 'wind chime' she had hung to irritate Arnav, she took it off too, then she took off that salman khan's poster...crumpled it and thrashed it in the dustbin..removed that pink bedsheet and..removed all her knick-knacks from Arnav's coffee table...and was about to open the cupboard and remove her dresses when...)
Arnav(His heart was heavy...and he again softly called out) Khushi? Khushi please listen to me...just once..
Khushi(Continued taking out her clothes from the cupboard,in a state of dream and started putting it into her bag...)
Arnav(really worried at seeing her like that, goes and holds her by her shoulders, this time, very gently) Khushi...please...just look at me once...bas ek bar khushi...bas..ek bar!
Khushi(turns around to see tears in Arnav's eyes, his eyes spoke volumes, they said how guilty he was... but they always had been expressive,more than he was and very intense...only his eyes did the talking, he rarely did...and this was nothing new...he was still not saying anything...) Aapko pata chal gaya na sab kuch?(she whispers) Abb bacha kya hai? Humari abb kya zaroorat yahan...(though she knew she was completely shattered with Arnav mistrusting her..yet she hoped...from every broken piece of her heart that he accepts that she is valuable for him, that he does love her..and wants her to stay with him...)
Arnav:(his voice turns urgent, desperate) Zaroorat hai khushi...Zaroorat hai..(I need you, I do..)
Khushi: Kyun zaroorat hai?(finally, she saw a tiny ray of hope emanating from her heart...)
Arnav(he felt that after all, not all is lost...he can still keep her with himself..) Look, I know what I did was wrong..very wrong..(pause) and I am seriously v-very s-sorry ...but I promise, i'll never, ever mistrust you again, from the moment you've entered my life, I've misunderstood you for some or the other reason and you've always come out clean, I dunno why, inspite of your clear history, I doubted you..and...seriously...I didn't mean all of the bad things I said, or did...
Khushi(softly) Then what do you mean, Arnav ji?
Arnav(goes blank! He couldn't think of what to say further...what she was asking for, was too much... too much for him to even pay the price for what he did...) I m-mean...that you can't leave me and go...you shouldn't..I- (khushi interrupts)
Khushi: Why shouldn't I leave? (still hopeful)
Arnav(now gets very,very desperate..he has to say something..and something RIGHT to make her stay, but WHAT is that right thing? He got confused and ended up saying the most wrong sentence in the history of his speaking..) "Because 6 months isn't over yet...and..."(he notices Khushi's form going still, and again grabs her by the shoulder, and shook her...for he sensed that whatever he said was something wrong, but didn't know how to rectify it and say what was right!)
Arnav: Khushi?!(utterly confused and perplexed and spoils the situation further!) Di, unka baccha..we can't hurt her aur Nani...woh kya sochengi? Khushi...tum mujhe thoda time do...main..
khushi(stunned to hear his reason. Her small ray of hope was dashed too. He just needed her because of his sister? Just because she was pregnant and he didn't wish to hurt her, he wanted her to take a suicidal step? He wanted her to suffer, he didn't give peanuts about HER feelings...all that mattered to him was his nani...his family and his Di...No, she didn't hate Di, far from it infact, she loved her, adored her like her own sister, but she needed some recognition too...just some of it..and he failed to give that to her too...she moved away from his grasp, collected her belongings in a daze...and said) "Hum ghar jaa rahe hain, hum nani ji ko bata denge ki hum jaa rahe hain, kuch dino keliye,kyunki hum unhe takleef nahi de sakte...lekin hum wapas nahi aayenge Arnav ji. Shayad, bahot door chale jayenge...aur aap Di aur nani ji ko apne tareeke se samjha dijiyega, aap toh humesha sab sambhal lete hain, yeh bhi sambhal lijiyega.
(with that she turned to leave...)
Arnav: Khushi!! Khushi please...main yeh nahi sambhal paunga iss baar (I won't be able to handle this, this time) Please, don't go. Don't. (he HAD to say something, ANYTHING. Dammit!) Di, toot jayengi Khushi...Di...
Khushi:Aap keliye accha hai Arnav ji...aapko shaanti mil jayegi. Aakhir Humse chutkara jo mil jayega...(smiles sadly at him.)
Arnav(what was he doing? Why was he saying everything wrong? he shook his head violently...) No. I don't want that...
Khushi: You don't want that or Di doesn't want that?(she mocks him slightly and steps out of their room. Probably, it was the last time she would say 'their' room...now it was his. completely.)
She went into Nani's room to explain her...that why she suddenly wished to go back to her house for some days..Nani ji sensed that something was really wrong, but she didn't stop her...she thought that if it was because her Chhotey had done something wrong, then he needed to rectify it, and if Khushi had done something wrong, then even she needed some time and space...so, she allowed her to go...
While, in Arnav's room, Arnav dropped heavily on his recliner...his mind stopped working...he didn't know what to do...how to stop her...how to tell her that he...he LOVED her...suddenly, he got up to find Khushi when he saw her, standing near the main gate, wishing good bye to everyone, everyone seemed okay...he heard his Di saying-"Jaldi aaiyega Khushi Ji..." and smiled at her...He saw Khushi forcefully smiling...Payal said,"Khushi you sure you don't want me to come too?", and Khushi replied.."Nahi jiji! You are needed here.." SO are YOU Khushi. Arnav thought. You are needed here too.
She was about to leave when, suddenly Arnav's hand raised of its own accord to stop her...and she stopped. Looked back, up at him, where he stood,just above the stairs...tears in her eyes...then turned back again, and left.
He felt his world going black. He felt the house becoming dead. He felt his heart stop beating. He looked up and closed his eyes in agony.
And, then he promised himself...I'll not let you go so easily Khushi. Not when, you are the first and the last person I've ever loved & ever will.
You've to come back. I'll make you come back, make you trust me again, make you realize the love we have...I don't know how, but I will. After all, what Arnav Singh Raizada wants, he always gets it. Always.
*TO BE CONTINUED.*
So guys?! How was it!? 😊
Edited by arshi21 - 12 years ago
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