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Khushi nervously walked into the Raizada mansion to say her goodbyes before departing for London. She had come with Dhruv and Ayi a few days back and was to leave for London tomorrow. She had put off coming to RM because she was unsure how she'd be greated by Naniji, Anjaliji and the rest of the family. Also, she wasn't sure how she was to greet the man who she had had a rocky relationship. Her nervousness vanished as she say Payal's beaming face, her belly bulging out as she was 6 months pregnant.
"Jiji" khushi screamed as she hugged her sister.
The whole family had come out to greet Khushi and even Mamiji, who was usually stern and rude, had softened towards Khushi when she had heard Arnav describe how he had wronged her. Khushi cried as she hugged Naniji. "Humain maaf kar dejiyan Khushi bitya, humaray Chottay nay galat kiya. Aap humaree beti jaisee hain aur aap humesha rahengee" (I am sorry Khushi, what Arnav did was wrong. You are like our daughter and always will be.") The rest of the afternoon was spent cooking and eating and chatting with Naniji, Anjali, Payal and the baby. Khushi loved kids and was most excited to play with Shanti.
She then told everyone that she would be going to London for a year or two to study and open a school and that Ayi and Dhruv would help her. The whole family was happy to see Khushi get on with her life. It was getting late as she planned on leaving soon and thanked DM that there was no sighting of ASR all night.
Arnav had been working late hours since he had returned form Lucknow. He found it comforting to be occupied all the time so that it would limit the number of hours he thought of her each day. He was unable to control his thoughts when he was unoccupied and they always ended up being about some stupid story of hers. Things, places, clothes, food, rooms, everything everything had a memory that was attached to her and he wasn't sure how he was going to shake it off. As he drove home that night, he felt a certain restlessness. He somehow sensed her presence as he parked the car in the driveway. Clearly I'm going crazy, he thought to himself.
He walked into his house and seriously thought he was losing it as he saw her sitting on the floor of his living room, looking plain yet angelic in a white shalwar kameez, Had she come back to him, had she forgiven him or was this a dream – like she came everynight and then went away as the sun came out. He was seriously questioning his sanity when suddenly Anjali said "Chottay, acha hua tum agayay, Khushiji kal London ja rahee hain ek/do saal kay liyay. Who humsay milnay ayee hain." His heart sank as he heard those words come out of his Di's mouth, so she had come to say goodbye he thought. He was such a fool, she had decided to leave him and had come only to leave – forever. She looked nervously at him as she looked into his eyes – they looked angry but there was sadness in his anger. Di had walked off as Shanti was crying leaving the two of them awkwardly staring at each others eyes. Trying to figure out what the other was thinking.
"Some of your useless stuff is lying in my room – you can come upstairs and take it when youre done" he said in a hurt tone and walked off abruptly.
She said goodbye to everyone downstairs and said she was going to grab some of her stuff from Arnav's room. She walked into the room and felt like she would break down any minute – she had so many memories in this room. She saw him pacing in the pool and he was by her side in a minute as soon as he saw her. He locked the door much to her surprise. "What are you doing?" she asked. With her eyes. He felt no need to give explanations to her.
He walked extremely close to her and said "So you will leave me?" his proximity and the tone of his voice made her nervous.
"I am leaving everything behind…my old life. You ruined my life and killed the old Khushi" she said defiantly looking at him.
"I have to go" she said wiping her tears and slipping out of his grip.
"Khushi – don't leave me" he said softly.
"Why? What do you want from me " She retorted.
He cupped her face in his hands and said "You" he whispered.
"I have to go" she said nervously, her voice barely audible.
He slipped his arms around her waist "I cant let you go Khushi - don't you get it?" he said his face close to hers. He placed soft kisses all over her face and on her cheeks . He placed one hand on her face and kissed her gently as if she was made of glass and would break.
Again her body responded to his. Somehow she would always lose herself and let him do whatever he wanted with her. She melted in his arms as he kissed her gently. He slowly moved down her neck, making her lose her mind and herself in his touch. His hands he used to bring her closer to him, one on her neck and one of waist.
She suddenly came to her senses and pushed him away. "You want Khushi …..but she is dead Mr. Raizada. You have killed her. You have made me hateful and bitter. The tragedy of this whole situation is that I have changed and you haven't." She retaliated moving his hands off of her face. "I am lucky I have people in my life who want to do what is best for me. People like Ayi and Dhruv"
As soon as she said his name – Arnav could control himself no longer. "I'm sure Dhruv will make you really happy – hes rich – just your type. Right Khushi?" he said his voice full of hurt. As soon as the words came out of his mouth – he instantly regretted it. Why was he even saying these things, he thought. He was hurt and so was she but he was unable to show it. She was moving on with her life and he wasn't able to. He wasn't sure if he would ever be able to move on.
She looked hurt at his words but didn't want to give him an
answer. He didn't deserve one she thought. She felt more sure of her decision
to leave him as she heard his spew those words.
"I'm sure you think my aukat is way below that of Dhruv's. I am sure you think he is rich and above me but he is not like you. He respects humans regardless of their aukat or bank balance like you" she said trying to hurt him back.
He couldn't bear her taking Dhruv's name and that too in such reverence. The thought of them being together drove him wild. He felt this rage take over him and he felt completely out of control. He wouldn't let her go this easy, the thought. In the heat of his emotions, he did something he would later regret. He grabbed her waist roughly and forcedly started kissing her. She struggled to push him off but he was like a man possessed and the harder she fought the tighter he held on to her. She wriggled and tried to slip out of his iron grip. He kissed her with anger and hatred. His lips hard and unrelenting and his grip was hard and ironlike.
Before he went any further, he came to his senses as he heard his phone ring. She pushed him further away from her and started crying. Why was he behaving like this he thought to himself – he had wanted to apologize to her for all the wrong he had done to her and here was hurting her even more and worse – he was hurting her physically. She looked hurt as he heard her sob. Her body ached, her lips bruised yet the pain was the worst in her heart which felt battered.
He suddenly realized what he had done and t tried to apologize. He reached his hand out to comfort her yet she shuddered at his touch and moved far across the room. She was scared he would hurt her, he thought. "Im sorry Khushi" he kept saying as she cried.
She realized shedding tears was useless and wiped them as she got up. "You Mr. Raizada are only capable of angrer and deserve only hatred. I don't know why I thought you may have changed. I am not sure with what hopes I came here. I am not sure why I always fall for you. But that is not your problem – its mine. But now I have realized that you are the same ASR. You want to use your might to own me and when you had me - you tortured me. " she said her voice rising with every word. "No more!" she screamed "I am leaving you forever!" she said trying to unlock the bedroom door as he gave him one final look before storming out of the room. He stood there hurt and defeated as he clenched his fists and cursed himself for hurting her once again. His anger had turned into sadness later into the night as a realization set within him that he had lost her forever.
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