"You loved me once... That should be
enough..." His words plagued her mind as she sat at her desk fidgeting
with her pen. The rhythmic clicking of the pen soothed her hectic mind leaving
her in her daydream until the bell rang signalling the end of the day.
"Okay guys, I want a diary entry of your weekend for homework. I'll see
you on Monday and have a good weekend." The children replied back
enthusiastically as bags were stuffed and chairs were scraped against the
floor. She watched as the children filed out of the room; her mind found itself
shifting to her own child. 'It's three;
Viren-ji will be giving her her medicine, right? Oh, Jeevika, don't worry, Ma
is there, she'll look after her properly.'
She picked up the
random pieces of loose paper and a few exercise books, stuffing them neatly into
her bag. Collecting her mobile and keys from the drawer in the desk, Jeevika
made her slow way out of her classroom and through the grassy playing field as
the children ran between the large oak trees. The breeze picked up as the air
lifted her hair, blowing the free strands across her face. Pulling her fingers
through her hair, her momentary blindness alleviated as her eyes caught sight
of two figures sat against a tree; a pair of alluring eyes staring right
through her.
Viren had his
daughter cradled against his chest as the soft sounds of her breathing rose
against his. His eyes were fixed on the saree clad beauty making her way over
towards him. He mused at her gracefulness as she fiddled with her hair,
exposing her neck. He followed the contour of her collar bone, resting his eyes
at the base of her throat, an area he knew so well, but looked so empty. He was
broken from his reverie by her melodious voice, a hint of nervousness running
through her words. "Viren-ji, you're here? What happened to Chandigarh..." His
eyes rested on her rosy pink lips before reaching her grey eyes.
"I couldn't leave
things between us like that. And besides, I had a question for you." He slowly
got up, being careful to not stir the sleeping child. Jeevika's instincts shot
up as she placed her hand on Rheya's back, not registering the larger, firmer
hand on top of her own. The sudden warmth of the touch shook her, her body
convulsing in shivers involuntarily. Retracting her hand, her eyes were fixed
anywhere but from his. "It's a proper Indian summer's day and you're
shivering?" The smirk playing on his lips left butterflies fluttering in her
abdomen.
"What can I do? You
were never good for me... We were always opposites." Jeevika's heart sunk for a
few moments as she saw the faltering smirk, but faith restored in his
complacent demeanour.
"Jeevika, basic
chemistry... opposites attract." She turned instantly, not wanting him to see
the smile spreading across her lips.
~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~
~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~
Rheya sat upon
Jeevika's lap as she submerged her feet into the Ganga. She let her thoughts
drift as the raging torrents danced between her feet. "Blue! Flow-wer.
Flow-wwer. Flower." Rheya held a small rose in her hand, placing it between the
stuffed arms of the teddy, mimicking her own position on her mother's lap with
the teddy bear. Jeevika ran her fingertips through the short strands of Rheya's
hair before applying a small kiss atop her head. 'Mummy, Pappa, can you believe how big she's grown? It's been two years
already, I know, crazy right?
'Every time I look at her, I see Manvi's playfulness and your
love filled eyes; bad days just disappear when I set my eyes on her father's
smile. I remember Viren-ji would say how he wanted a complete duplicate of me;
that he didn't feel worthy of having his child have a part of him; and I would
just pray that: God, please, just give me that smile. I don't know how I could
live without it...' Her eyes glanced to the
sudden presence beside her, the playful grin aimed towards the child in her
arms.
"You know, before I
met you, I thought fairy tales were the stuff of dreams, but then I found mine
with you; but... why is it no one ever tells you happily ever afters don't
exist?" Viren looked towards the surface of the water, eyes distant and his
smile gradually fading. Jeevika turned towards his gaze, spying the floating
stick atop the water.
"That's the
difference between reality and dreams, Viren-ji... The harder you try to hold on,
the greater the pain of letting go; our times been and gone, we both just need
to look towards the future.."
~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~
~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~
It was late evening
as they pulled up in front of the Chaudhary house; Jeevika's eyes were a buzz
from confusion as she caught site of the unfamiliar car parked ahead of theirs.
Taking her time to get out of the car, Jeevika made her gradual way towards the
veranda, faintly registering the unbuckling of a car seat and the muffled
closing of the car door behind her. Readjusting the position of her bag on her
shoulder, Jeevika peered into the court yard of the house; the sound of voices
quiet in the background. Making her way towards the hubbub of voices, Jeevika's
eyes fell on the backs of four figures.
"Arre Jeevika, you're
back. Come here, I want you to meet the Sharma's." Beeji motioned towards her,
ignoring the confusion on Jeevika's face. Moving towards Beeji, Jeevika stared
at the ground, lifting her joined hands softly before gently greeting them.
Slowly, her gaze rose to fall on the smiling faces of the Sharma's, quietly
uttering under their breaths.
The elder lady stood
up, placing her hand on Jeevika's cheek; "Beeji, you're granddaughter is
absolutely stunning and what great things we've heard about her." The lady
softly smiled before turning her gaze towards Jeevika. "You know Jeevika; we're
not the type of people who dwell on the past. We look at what is in the heart."
Jeevika smiled softly as the lady
introduced her son, Rohit, who smiled warmly at Jeevika. Her smile faltered as
she caught site of the figure of the father of her child slowly receding up the
stairs.
Excusing herself, Jeevika took a hold
of Manvi's hand leading her towards the open doors. "Mannu, what's going on
here?"
Manvi rolled her eyes, wondering where
Jeevika's mind was at. "Di, they've come for your rishta; they seem like nice
people. Anyways, why are you getting so nervous, this isn't the first time?"
Jeevika fought the urge to scream in
frustration shifting her gaze towards the stairs. "Mannu, Viren-ji is
upstairs."
Manvi's eyes went wide as Jeevika's
anxiety hit her hard. "Di, now what? Err... Di, I'll handle things down here,
tell them you're not feeling well or something, but you need to go to Jeeju
now." Manvi pushed Jeevika towards the foot of the stairs, giving her sister
one final look of dismay before disappearing towards the crowded sitting area.
Jeevika took in a deep breath as she started her ascent up the stairs, her
heart fluttering uncontrollably. Her heart beat calmed as she gazed down at the
sleeping figure of Rheya on the bed before it skipped a beat on seeing the
nonchalant figure casually leaning against the rails of the balcony through the
windows of her room.
He registered her footsteps on the
stone tiles of the balcony; hesitant and slow. "Viren-ji, about downstairs... I
can explain-" Jeevika found her back pushed up against the outer wall of the
house instantaneously, her body caged in by his hands positioned on either side
of her body. Glancing into his eyes, Jeevika found goose bumps forming on her
skin as the carnal rage, lust and hurt flashed through his eyes.
"Explain what? What exactly? How you
would let my daughter call another man father? You see Jeevika, I can't
tolerate that; I won't tolerate that. Another man loving you like me? Never!"
His breath on her cheek and the protruding vein in his neck calling for her to touch
it and ease his pain was driving her crazy.
"And what about you? Have Rheya call
another woman mother. The thought of that Jia touching you, loving you, being
with you like I used too; you think I can bear that?" His hands clenched into
fists against the wall; his gaze falling on the rhythmic rise and fall of her
chest, the pulsing vein in her neck, her parted plump lips to her hazy eyes. He
moved his hand to trace the outline of her bottom lip gently as his eyebrows
contorted together in confusion. Her breath quickened as he moved towards her;
giving in Jeevika closed her eyes in anticipation of his lips on hers. Her eyes
flew open as she felt the pressure of his forehead on hers, his eyes scrunched
together.
Slowly she lifted her hand to his
cheek, gently caressing it as he sighed against her cheek. Holding her hand in
its place, he interlocked their fingers whilst slowly opening his eyes; the
pain in them clear as her own expression mirrored his. Moving away from her, he
gently released her hand before making his way back into the room before gently
laying a kiss on Rheya's forehead and disappearing out of the door leaving a
hyperventilating Jeevika contemplating on their most recent angsty tryst.
Viren made his way down the stairs and
out of the door, not sparing a second look towards the gathering of happy souls
in the back of the house. Moving towards his car, he stopped in front of the
driver's door, running a hand through his hair. 'Damn it Viren! What the hell?'
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