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My story - "Eye Of The Beholder" (Page 3)

visrom IF-Stunnerz
visrom
visrom

Joined: 26 November 2009
Posts: 31275

Posted: 07 April 2012 at 7:28am | IP Logged
This is fantastic...I am still half way through...I feel like I am reading a novel like 'If tomorrow comes'. LOL

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DemonStar

mallikaBalu IF-Dazzler
mallikaBalu
mallikaBalu

Joined: 02 December 2009
Posts: 3849

Posted: 07 April 2012 at 7:49am | IP Logged
Ravi indeed a monumental work seeing the lengthWink appreciate you for keeping your promise. will read it all when I have less tiredness and let you know.Smile

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DemonStar

Silver_Mist Goldie
Silver_Mist
Silver_Mist

Joined: 18 December 2011
Posts: 2403

Posted: 07 April 2012 at 7:54am | IP Logged
Will read soon..
visrom IF-Stunnerz
visrom
visrom

Joined: 26 November 2009
Posts: 31275

Posted: 07 April 2012 at 8:01am | IP Logged
Finished 7. Will continue later...
 
Just one thing I wanted to say...Abhijeet firing at a gas cylinder and causing a blast which killed Bala and injuring other jail guards was a bit...tough to imagine. LOL
DemonStar IF-Sizzlerz
DemonStar
DemonStar

Joined: 16 March 2006
Posts: 14360

Posted: 07 April 2012 at 8:04am | IP Logged
He doesn't kill Bala or any guards with that action, only whips up a temporary distraction to escape. LOL Bala is accidentally killed in crossfire by his own men.
visrom IF-Stunnerz
visrom
visrom

Joined: 26 November 2009
Posts: 31275

Posted: 09 April 2012 at 6:32am | IP Logged
Will continue this after some time.
LOL hmmm...nice to see Abhijeet slightly involved with another girl...something other than the T thing. Wink 


Edited by visrom - 09 April 2012 at 8:45am

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DemonStar

gadhadada IF-Addictz
gadhadada
gadhadada

Joined: 27 August 2010
Posts: 74927

Posted: 09 April 2012 at 11:31am | IP Logged

WOW WOW WOW manClapClapClap... wat a lovely treat...StarStarStar
to be honest DEMONSTAR, wen i saw ur lengthy story, I was decided that wen will I give my feedback, i appologize DEMONSTAR in advance that next time i'll not read his story if it will be of this much lengthy... but now i am ashamed of my thought...Ouch
wat a MASTER BLASTER buddyClapClapClap... either if its cum for reasearch or character building, past information or scene creating... everything is jus SUPERB...ClapClapClap
the character of ASAD TAYLER, SLICER, PARAMJEET GILL, BALA, AZIZ JAVED, VIDYA KASHYP...Clap
the previous characters of SNEHA, SMIRTHI and all...Clap
the usual characters of our beloved TRIO with teamClap excluding much more of NIKHIL and SACHIN...LOL
man U are really creating such a lovely auraClap...a MASTERPIECEStar... a joyful RIDE...Clap
sum scenes i enjoyed alot but ur dialogues and crispy PARA's really icing on already yummy cake...Big smileClapStar
I m a beginer but personally I dunt want to screen it although I prefared it as a READING material and always saved in my collection to give me oppurtunity to learn alot from it...Smile
jus one thing...
THANK U VERY MUCH DEMONSTAR... its really a GIFT for all of us...!!! ClapClapClap

NOTE: sorry buddy, i have not such a royal lisguistic skills like u, so if u find sumthing wrong, i say sorry...Smile


Edited by gadhadada - 09 April 2012 at 11:52am

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DemonStar

Athene Viewbie
Athene
Athene

Joined: 30 November 2010
Posts: 121956

Posted: 09 April 2012 at 12:36pm | IP Logged
Ravi will read soon and comment. Big smile

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DemonStar

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