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Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon
Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon

Is Arnav capable of loyalty? (Page 4)

-Manal.A- IF-Dazzler
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Posted: 05 April 2012 at 10:03pm | IP Logged
Congrats Mary on your 200th post !
And it was a very interesting topic you put up here...

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Marybarton

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Posted: 05 April 2012 at 10:08pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Marybarton



Actually I find myself agreeing with Hiru here. Not that I saw anything new here as opposed to real life. But I have not seen a lot of Indian skeptics about relationships, monogamy, and marriage in real life, part of being an NRI I guess. Here, seeing a typically Indian audience more and more skeptical about relationships and marriage made me wonder if that old-world idea of conservative Indian ideals is just in my NRI head now. I can't really say I am conservative for my upbringing though, I also have the personality type that is usually very conservative about trust and relationships.


I am with you both on this one. Sometimes its just easier to be single. I did not exercise that option and do feel sometimes, I should have stayed single longer. But not because I dont love my family/husband but more because I would have wanted to explore the world and learn more about myself before I became a two-some and married unit.

In that sense, I am a deviant from Indian rituals/mores. The other thing I deviate is in the matter of having kids. I feel some people should never have kids and having kids is not a precursor to fulfilling life. Again, I don't follow the normal/traditional Indian mold there. But hey, I have very traditional and very non-traditional friends. To me you gotta be a good person first, other ideologies can be respected and accepted.

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Posted: 05 April 2012 at 10:18pm | IP Logged
Hearty Congratulations.. Keep writing..Thumbs Up

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Marybarton

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Posted: 05 April 2012 at 10:24pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Marybarton

Originally posted by jasmine_anih

I think Arnav's character is drawn as a successful guy who gets an enormous amount of attention from women.  Because ofthe amount of attention he gets, he questions the intention of women in general.  His business is his main motivation.  Women can come and go for him because he does not define himself by the woman on his arm.  He is looking for someone who gets him (his commitment to work), he does not care about her past or where she is from.  She just cannot be after his money.  He is not a rake - he can commit.

A guy with a wondering eye and there are these guys who place their self esteem on who is on their arm cannot commit.  


I can see the women flinging themselves on him (for example that awful model) but I didn't see him respond which made me rationalize that he is not as much into even casual relationships. He tried to set up a deal kind of relationship with La which showed his inexperience in dealing with relationships to me. But that is my reading. I do think he was involved with La physically though, just not after he met Khushi. All that makes him, not a rake, in my book.

Arnav is a rake. for the way he treats Khushi, but he is loyal.

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Marybarton

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Posted: 05 April 2012 at 10:29pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by serialjunkie

Originally posted by Marybarton



Actually I find myself agreeing with Hiru here. Not that I saw anything new here as opposed to real life. But I have not seen a lot of Indian skeptics about relationships, monogamy, and marriage in real life, part of being an NRI I guess. Here, seeing a typically Indian audience more and more skeptical about relationships and marriage made me wonder if that old-world idea of conservative Indian ideals is just in my NRI head now. I can't really say I am conservative for my upbringing though, I also have the personality type that is usually very conservative about trust and relationships.


I am with you both on this one. Sometimes its just easier to be single. I did not exercise that option and do feel sometimes, I should have stayed single longer. But not because I dont love my family/husband but more because I would have wanted to explore the world and learn more about myself before I became a two-some and married unit.

In that sense, I am a deviant from Indian rituals/mores. The other thing I deviate is in the matter of having kids. I feel some people should never have kids and having kids is not a precursor to fulfilling life. Again, I don't follow the normal/traditional Indian mold there. But hey, I have very traditional and very non-traditional friends. To me you gotta be a good person first, other ideologies can be respected and accepted.


Well, I think I will be the next Jane Austen - without the writing talentLOL. By that I mean jaded, independent, and single. I rather love it. It would take a crane-like love to convince me to give it up and become a twosome. I can theorize about the ideal love all day but when it comes to practice, rejection comes easier for me. That is not to say there is a line for meEmbarrassed, but I do not make the first move so it is (if ever) posed to me.

My conservativeness makes me the odd one out among my friends. I love them all to death and I am not judgmental about their decisions. It is seeing different views of love and seeing merit in every approach that makes me question alternatives. Now seeing this show putting forth a more modern Indian man to an Indian audience makes me think that India has moved on too.

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Posted: 05 April 2012 at 10:37pm | IP Logged
You have a very good point Mary. You wanted a personal story, so here it is. My husband's name is Greg. I am Indian, he is Canadian. Before we got married, we have been friends for 6 months, dating for about one year and engaged for another 6 months. 

Now you must be wondering why I'm telling you this. The reason is Greg has never lived with a girl before he got married to me, his longest relationship lasted 3 months and that too because the girl was overseas. 

When we first met (as friends), he informed me he gets bored with a girl and gets itchy feeling to move on after 1 month or so. As you understand, it did not instill faith in me regarding his ability to stick in a relationship.

Later, when he asked me out on a date, my response was, dude, you must be kidding me.

But I took a chance. He not only stood by me through every thick and thin, but there has not been a day since then when he has not said "I love you" or "I think you are the most beautiful woman in the world" at least once. (Things to be mentioned, he is a photographer and all his ex-girlfriends were model quality beautiful. On the other hand, I am generally considered cute").

But there you go. Would I have been happier with a nice guy who never had any experience in life? I guess I could. But I am happier with a guy who had a chance to experience the world and still finds his world in me. 

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Posted: 05 April 2012 at 10:42pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by tia.o

You have a very good point Mary. You wanted a personal story, so here it is. My husband's name is Greg. I am Indian, he is Canadian. Before we got married, we have been friends for 6 months, dating for about one year and engaged for another 6 months. 

Now you must be wondering why I'm telling you this. The reason is Greg has never lived with a girl before he got married to me, his longest relationship lasted 3 months and that too because the girl was overseas. 

When we first met (as friends), he informed me he gets bored with a girl and gets itchy feeling to move on after 1 month or so. As you understand, it did not instill faith in me regarding his ability to stick in a relationship.

Later, when he asked me out on a date, my response was, dude, you must be kidding me.

But I took a chance. He not only stood by me through every thick and thin, but there has not been a day since then when he has not said "I love you" or "I think you are the most beautiful woman in the world" at least once. (Things to be mentioned, he is a photographer and all his ex-girlfriends were model quality beautiful. On the other hand, I am generally considered cute").

But there you go. Would I have been happier with a nice guy who never had any experience in life? I guess I could. But I am happier with a guy who had a chance to experience the world and still finds his world in me. 


What a story. Really. I am moved. I won't say you are lucky but that you deserve this loyalty because he does find the world in you. I think being friends and knowing all about each other is the most important thing. Then trust becomes easier.

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Tia.0

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Posted: 05 April 2012 at 10:47pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Marybarton

Originally posted by tia.o

You have a very good point Mary. You wanted a personal story, so here it is. My husband's name is Greg. I am Indian, he is Canadian. Before we got married, we have been friends for 6 months, dating for about one year and engaged for another 6 months. 

Now you must be wondering why I'm telling you this. The reason is Greg has never lived with a girl before he got married to me, his longest relationship lasted 3 months and that too because the girl was overseas. 

When we first met (as friends), he informed me he gets bored with a girl and gets itchy feeling to move on after 1 month or so. As you understand, it did not instill faith in me regarding his ability to stick in a relationship.

Later, when he asked me out on a date, my response was, dude, you must be kidding me.

But I took a chance. He not only stood by me through every thick and thin, but there has not been a day since then when he has not said "I love you" or "I think you are the most beautiful woman in the world" at least once. (Things to be mentioned, he is a photographer and all his ex-girlfriends were model quality beautiful. On the other hand, I am generally considered cute").

But there you go. Would I have been happier with a nice guy who never had any experience in life? I guess I could. But I am happier with a guy who had a chance to experience the world and still finds his world in me. 


What a story. Really. I am moved. I won't say you are lucky but that you deserve this loyalty because he does find the world in you. I think being friends and knowing all about each other is the most important thing. Then trust becomes easier.

I agree Mary. I always wanted to find a husband who will be my best friend. But my best friend turned out to be "the one". I think every meaningful relationship begins and ends with friendship. I think the reason we have managed to make it work is because we knew each other's short comings and weaknesses while we were friends. In spite of all that we fell in love. So we did not enter into a relationship with our eyes closed. There was no nasty surprises once we started the relationship. That was important.

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Marybarton

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