Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon


Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon
Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon


mits002 IF-Dazzler

Joined: 28 September 2007
Posts: 3728

Posted: 05 April 2012 at 11:05pm | IP Logged
Not only by Shyam, she has been abused by Arnav all this time. Him holding her arms and wrists harshly up to the point where it starts to hurt or leave bruises and pushing and shoving her all the time are all forms of abuse as well. Arnav's anger issues to top all of it. But nobody says anything about that because he is the hero and "he is so hot" and he is her "husband". NOTHING justifies that kind of behavior. 

I enjoy watching this show because of the love-hate relationship but more so than ever it is becoming abusive day by day. That's not what I signed up for. 

Arnav can be all angry with her as much as he wants but I didn't know that abusive aggression is the new thing these days! 

And please dont tell me to just stop watching the show. It's also easy for me to say that if you dont agree with my POV, then don't post here! 

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uniquebluerose IF-Dazzler

Joined: 12 August 2010
Posts: 3692

Posted: 05 April 2012 at 11:38pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by napstermonster

I wanted to slap someone today, and it wasn't Shyam, or Arnav. It was Khushi.

Seriously, you know how you can watch CNN or Indian News or whatever, and social issues are being covered-there is that one question that VICTIMS of sexual violence are almost inevitably asked- when they get harassed, or raped, or molested whatever-no matter where they are-the west or the east, they are asked-What did you do to make this happen to you? Basically saying, in another way- "she asked for it."

Having worked with victims of rape, I can tell you, this question will inevitably be posed. By someone, usually a man, almost always a person who thinks that rape is about sex and not violence. But there are danger signals, especially when it comes to acquaintance rape. The signals include a steady increase in harassment, starting with lewd looks, then following, then inappropriate comments, then forced touching, and then physical assault. Shyam is following the classic pattern.

This is HIS sickness, she is not encouraging it, you can say.

YEAH she is-by not revealing what he's doing, screaming, asking for help, telling someone in authority, (ASR, Nani, for god's sake at this point I'd take Payal and Aakash) for NOT going crazy on his ass! By not yelling in his face, standing up to him, telling him in screams not whispers that he CANNOT do this, by not using a fear of being caught to make him back off, since he is shameless! 

Dont tell me about protecting Arnav or the family or Anjali's unborn baby! What will happen when Khushi is raped which is where this would normally end up in real life? Which of these stupid concerns will help her deal with that trauma? What part of this will be soothing to her husband if his is wife assaulted without even knowing that she COULD have been protected because she didn't f**king tell him about her harassment?

So, out of SHEER ANGER at seeing what is drummed into women every day, about being careful, about being conscious of their rights, their control over their body and over who gets to goddamn touch that body, seeing that IGNORED  today, I have to ask:

Are you asking for it Khushi? Are you really so goddamn stupid that you don't see danger signals from this insane perverted creep? Granted, slapping him will literally turn him on. Granted you are in a public place, and you can't do anything right away. But you are in danger and you know it, because your BODY tells you you are-YOUR INSTINCT is screaming warnings you are ignoring!

I'm worried because kids watch this show.

They will think, rudeness  and being direct is worse than saying NO and walking away if they are made uncomfortable by someone or by some situation (Shyam/Khushi, and Anjali's meds thing! W*F!!)

They will think, a man can and will harass them in public, but they  themselves should be soft and afraid of people's comments if they create a scene. They should quietly seek to escape, but never never create a scene since that is unfeminine/bad behavior.

They will think, a family member or family friend or an elder or someone important to their own parents/family should be given multiple chances simply because they are related or known, that they should allow the harassment to continue so people don't get upset.

They will think they have to fight such lewd potential rapists off by stupid means like dropping something heavy on their feet, or running away or using stupid avoidance techniques which never works because they are being STALKED  as opposed to CONFRONTING such behavior, with an adult, or with someone who can protect them.

They will think its their responsibility to hide a pervert's behavior because it will hurt the pervert's family.

They will think the pervert's behavior will change if they stay away from him, or if he is given a warning. They worry their own loved ones they wont believe  them and they'll be branded as a trouble maker.

NONE of these things are true, and Khushi's actions is perpetuating every last one of them !!!

Goddamit CVs, you've stuck it down our throats that this is a family show. Then protect the damn family values in this one instance, and give us a heroine who does the right, the ONLY thing she can and should do right now, which is to NOT let Shyam intimidate her, to NOT keep this a secret when its not her shame or her fault- LET HER FIGHT AND END HER OWN HARASSMENT!!!!

Mighty good question and I am happy you are concerned of the wrong messages these serials or this particular serial is sending to young kids...

But you think Khushi or the character of Khushi keeping quite with Shyam is only one sending danger messages?????

I fear girls may think contract marriage are in thing!!!!

I fear throwing someone from balcony or sending her on death mission will now turn girls on as they will think its hot to rescued...and will forget than no employer god even if he is God  himself is capable of doing that!!!

I fear boys will think to protect their sister any girl in hand can be tortured!!!!

I fear now the elder sister will think interfering in their younger brother life is cool thing!!!

I fear that the so called people like Shyam who are married in to good looking girls but these girls are always obsessed with serial or their owe family their brother and their Nani will think its to parade around the wife brothers wife or with any other women!!!!!

I fear the young men will think its cool to abuse your wife as its a way of shoeing your love and young girls may take it like Khushi does!!!!

I fear young men may think shouting i hate you to wife is the in thing and the wife though hurt may take it!!!!!

So what do i do...then like CNN, IBN and everybody else say...the girl asked fro it...the wife whose husband has extra marital affair asked for it...

the guy who may in future end up losing his wife because thinking that he is acting smart and hot he abuses his wife...should i say he asked for it!!!!!!

Well dunno mixed should love of a brother for sister...make the brothers out here hurt, abuse make fun out of marriage and  do whatever they feel right to protect their sister by destorying lives all around!!!!

so should sister love her brother so much that her fainting may scare him...what does she  have any pregnancy or blood cancer!!!

you mena hiding your illness from your loving family memebers that too simple illness esp when you are burdening a third person is right!!!

Is anjlai sending the right message to people...Seh freaks our when her Mangla sutra breaks and is always PDA in with her husband...he is god for being like her right!!!!

Is entering into contract marriage for the sake of your sister right thing!!!

How is IPKKND sending message to anybody for that matter!!!!! 

It just seems to have lot dysfunctional families and obsessed people!!


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uniquebluerose IF-Dazzler

Joined: 12 August 2010
Posts: 3692

Posted: 05 April 2012 at 11:43pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by napstermonster

I'll be frank-if I was Khushi, I wouldn't want to share a sandwich with Payal, much less my troubles. Stupid, ineffective, helpless, self serving watering pot- first time in my LIFE I've found myself cheering on the evil saas torturing her bahu. I swear Mamiji does it so I don't have to.

Whenever I see Payal and Aakash  I remember the hypocritical, self-righteous dialogue she spouted  when his mom gave her hell for being ditched at the altar-Remember, the one about  him being a bad bad boy by not telling his mommy dearest about her past, being all snooty about secrets and how "she dont believe in keeping them secrets no more"?

And when he promises to be honest forever, to start their marriage off on total trust and transparency she smiles and theres not a twinge in her conscience about the biggest one that is being kept from all the Raizadas-Shyam. 

If there was a twinge, it sure died fast once she got into her wedding clothes and jewellery. Silence on something that might rock her boat-All so she can get married double quick.  How is it only Khushi's job or decision to reveal Shyam's truth? Before the stupid ASR-KSR Wedding went down, Payal was the only one getting MARRIED into the family containing Anjali, the person being betrayed. To Anjali's BROTHER.  At this stage, it was on her more than Khushi to tell everyone what she knew re. Shyam for the sake of her future family

And now that no one can take her gold bangles away from her, whats stopping her from telling her husband herself, without waiting for Khushi?

So Aakash at least can protect his own sister, even though Payal clearly doesn't give a damn about her own?

And how about a scene of Payal being an actual sister and asking Khushi in between bouts of sucking up to Mami-ji hard enough to leave hickeys- how about a scene where she cares enough to say "Hey, whats up with that obsessed pervert who's living two doors down from you in this house? Update me on whether he's  still cheating our common nanad trying to get into your panties! Here's a pakora, lets chat like sisters do when they give a damn!!"...dumbass...

I totally agree with you I just hate that attitude of Payal...and oh how i wish all this is revealed through some other source to Aakash and he questions her left right and center!!!!

Wait i know Mami likes Anjali a lot!!! Hope she knows it ans questions Payal ...Angry

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katiegirl Senior Member

Joined: 18 December 2011
Posts: 290

Posted: 05 April 2012 at 11:53pm | IP Logged
hi, im sooo glad that uve raised this issue. It has been bothering me, and now going by the replies here, so many other people for a long time. It;s not even about khushi's character doing a 360 degree turn's just about the messages that are going out from a much loved show. She just keeps putting up with everything and becoming a martyr for no particular reason...that's the most obvious and annoying one. But im also failing to understand how no one in the whole family is seeing it??

I didnt understand how could the Guptas calmly let their girl married into the family where a psychopath is a much loved member of the family. Atleast initially they were shown making faces at shyam's presence but now payal and guptas act as if noting ever happened.  And the raizada family...shown to be full of people with wisdom (nani, anjali, asr) or just plain nosiness ( mami) ...who seem to catch every little undercurrent have just completely missed this one??? Mostly the families just choose to turn a blind eye to such things, sort of an elephant in the room that they can't see.

But this has now gone beyond logic or any kind of reason. I'd hate to see this much loved show turn into one of the other regressive bullshit one sees on the telly. And this changes soon. I understand the need to drag, to ensure longevity for the show...but hope CVs will also keep in mind the most important factor besides the TRPs: social responsibility. 

Thank you for your post.


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uniquebluerose IF-Dazzler

Joined: 12 August 2010
Posts: 3692

Posted: 06 April 2012 at 12:09am | IP Logged
Originally posted by serialjunkie

 the interest of telling somebody, why not tell everyone about ASR's forced marriage to her as well? Why hold back on that aspect? Tell everyone how he has been humiliating and intimidating her behind closed doors. She does not know that ASR really means no harm, does she? And she does think he has ruined her life like a play dough, so why not reveal all that to the families?

So there in lies my confusion. If we want her to reveal Shyam, she can reveal ASR. If she can't reveal ASR, she cannot reveal shyam for the same reasons. I think from Khushi's stand point neither ASR nor Shyam have given her any warm fuzzies. We know ASR loves her, but she does not. Granted what shyam is doing is adultery, but what ASR is doing is travesty of institution she so firmly believes in.

My issue Navin is we are all quick to absolve ASR when from Khushi's pov, both men are doing wrong to her. period.

SJ...wonderfully put...leave alone them...we as educated and aware minds want the character of Khushi to stand up to Shyam...but when we remain quite on the issues ASR as obsessed brother is doing are we our-self sending wrong messages let alone the CVS

I ts almost like talling if its your husband or the guy you are attracted to or a good looking guy irs ok for him to manhandle and everything else!!!

you are right!!!! Both men are doing wrong!!!!!

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Nowsheen Groupbie

Joined: 08 August 2007
Posts: 155

Posted: 06 April 2012 at 12:14am | IP Logged

You have just voiced the screaming rage that I feel whenever I see Khushi stuck in this situation. It feels like she is digging her own grave in the name of saving family!! You have said everything so comprehensively that there is nothing else to add to this. Thanks! I hope the CVs notice this.

Edited by Nowsheen - 06 April 2012 at 12:15am

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MaankigopiMadhu Senior Member

Joined: 06 October 2010
Posts: 862

Posted: 06 April 2012 at 12:17am | IP Logged
This IS really getting RIDICULOUS !!! Where is the sense of social responsibility????? Is this the message we send to girls and boys ??? Horrible man-handling by both, the lead and  the villain :((((  The Khushi keeping quite about the CREEPY ADVANCES that he is making .. HE IS STEADILY GETTING BOLDER AND BOLDER.. It is preposterous that these writers think that putting RANDOM eyelocks and Rabbaveys etc will justify to extend to which they are taking this abuse :(((  

You made an awesome post .. IT IS REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT MESSAGE TO SEND TO KIDS :((( THAT THIS KIND OF BEHAVIOR IS UNACCEPTABLE .. I hope the CVs heed to this and make necessary amends :((

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uniquebluerose IF-Dazzler

Joined: 12 August 2010
Posts: 3692

Posted: 06 April 2012 at 12:20am | IP Logged
Originally posted by sukri

Originally posted by serialjunkie

@ red - In the interest of telling somebody, why not tell everyone about ASR's forced marriage to her as well? Why hold back on that aspect? Tell everyone how he has been humiliating and intimidating her behind closed doors. She does not know that ASR really means no harm, does she? And she does think he has ruined her life like a play dough, so why not reveal all that to the families?

Already many girls are afraid of opening up this issue with their parents or siblings. I know of my friends facing such problems when I was a teenager. They are afraid of being judged.
Khushi doesnt tell anything of any importance to her parents, sister, or friend or anyone for that matter..
What I dont understand is why are CVs encouraging this behavior in a female lead, who really influences the behavior of so many teenagers. As much as people drool on Arnav, there are equal number of girls who want to be Khushi.
Girls need ot be taught that they shouldnt be afraid of sharing information with their near and dear ones coz they are the ones needing protection and not their families.
Just for the sake of MU, they shouldnt continue with this absurdness.

you are right once agian!!!! let me tell you my cousin (she is elder) and once me also experienced a very bad kind of abuse from our mutual cousin (he was not married then!!!) and he was the apple of everybody's eys...the first time is groped me...i was shocked and the second time i started feeling guilty...and then treid to run run and run stay away from him as i did not know how to handle the situation felt bad about myself etc...and when i revealed it to my cousin (the one i mentioned earlier) she says he is always like that she has faced it many a times!!!!

Tragically she was living with them for studies so all she could do was avoid him avoid him...and yes she tired telling her mother but her mother was very traditional...was scared for the daughter and as you said she was afraid of breaking relations with her sister whose son he was and also she was afraid that people would say her daughter asked for it...just like people are blaming Khushi now 

She wanted to put her in hostel but again the fear that at least in that only one man was there but out in society there would be many!!
Finally they talked to younger bother of this guy who promised to take care of her and yes after all of us and i guess then we were out of bounds for this perverted cousin of mine!!!

Horrifying experience and it leaves you confused and its sad that even now we are not unhappy with Garima or Buaji or Payal who are doing nothing...but blaming Khushi who at least managed to hurt him one in a while!!!

I am not saying Khushi is right here but i feel she is a bit helpless as to how ti react...not for Anjali's sake...but for her own sake!!! She fears being judged!!!

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