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PAYBACK - RTMC (Three Shot) Last part pg 8 (Page 10)

Tyro IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 29 December 2010
Posts: 22061

Posted: 10 April 2012 at 1:12am | IP Logged
i for a minute totally forgot abt the story when i read the rat part...LOL

especially when tom came to pay his his enemyROFL

loved the end...poor mickey n jerry...LOL

loved the way u wrote the scene of anu n veer...

do write another one soon...

thnx for PM...

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glossyglassy Senior Member

Joined: 25 April 2010
Posts: 313

Posted: 10 April 2012 at 10:52pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by shruja

beautiful part
enjoyed it very much
so anu forgot to tell him abt water supply probLOL
poor veer had to remain with soapLOL
bathroom ka badla bathroom mein!! thts gr8ClapClap
so she got her payback!!Wink
she forgot abt her special lunch tooLOL
and felt guilty n confess to veer abt itSmile
and veer punished her very sweet wayEmbarrassed
but wht this she spoiled his mood again!! she should get more punishment from veerWinkTongueEmbarrassed
loved reading entire part imaging rtmcEmbarrassed
so onlooker was micky rat
poor jerry n mickey had to paybackLOLLOL onbehalf of veer which cost their deathCryCry
thank god veer din't ate anu's special lunchWink
the funeral n morning part of jerry n mikcy's death was amazingROFL
the best was moral of story!! not to take panga with wife aur specially anu k jaise ho tohWink
thank u so much for beautiful ss!! ClapClap
hope will get more such beautiful writings from u!!Big smile


Hey di!

Thx sooo much for liking da story & ur luvly commentBig smile

Glad u liked the part & moral…

Dnt worry much…as I said in the end...stale food doesn't kill u…LOL

Luv u…Smile

glossyglassy Senior Member

Joined: 25 April 2010
Posts: 313

Posted: 10 April 2012 at 10:54pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by sweetsanyo


oops! i m late, today...

actually i just got up now, 2pm...

will unres just after reading...


Hi guys!.......hey gloosy budddy!.

Thanks to all those who pressed the like button and/or commented.ur welcome., thnx for giving us a wonderful story.

So this is the last part of the story! It's got a little bit of Hindi in it, if anyone has problems, plz ask...I'll be happy to help!...

achhi baat h , i love hindi, hindi hamari matre bhasha h...

hindi h hum hindi h hum,

vatan h  hindustan humara humara...

saare jahn se accha...

okay, sry, thoda over patriotic ho gaya,

To avoid confusion with dialogues...I've colored them

Last part
"What happened? You're so happy?" "I made it, Anu! I made the deal" He then told her about his lunch meeting and assured promotion. Anu exclaimed her happiness and hugged him saying, "Congratulations!" tho crack honi hi thi, lucky charm jo mil gaya tha subah subah, anu ki smile.

, "What happened? Why are you shouting?" "Why is there no water in the shower? I'm all soaped up." Ananya realized her mistake and told him, "I'm sorry. I forgot to tell you that we are having some water supply problems in the society today." He opened the door a bit and looked at her angrily, "You forgot?"(kya bhulakad biwi naseeb hoi h veer ko,ROFL lekin yeh bholakad biwi yeh kabhi nhi bhoolti ki iske pati ne kya shaitaniya ki h uske saathWink, aur iss biwi ki special baat yeh h ki, iss biwi ka dimaag tab bhot chalta h jab baat veer ko pareshaan karne ki ho!LOL

Anu laughed on seeing his state and said, "I'll call the Security to start the pump if he can." And then suddenly an idea clicked in her mind. So with a naughty glint in her eyes and mischief in her mind she told him "And ya, before I forget, the water heater's also not working today."(yeh lo ho gaya sone per suhaga!, yah phirr kahe ho gaya gareebi main aata gheela!ROFL

And then silently giggling to herself, she went off to make the call. Veer's eyes widened in shock and soap entered his eyes. bicharaOuch

When he tried to clear his eyes with his hands more soap got in them as his hands were also soapy. He was helpless'somehow he cleaned his eyes with the towel. And then he waited'with stinging eyes, soapy body and shivering in the cold as he was wet from the rain.bichaare ki halat dheeli ho rahi h, and anu madam maaze le rahi h, bhagvaan aise biwi sabko pradaan  kare! dhanya ho gaya veer aisi sundar beautiful kismat lekar.

He made silent pleas to Water god to rain through the bathroom shower, singing various bhajans and replacing the respective god's name with water god. And this is how poor Veer waited for the water to come soon.ROFL

bhagtan ki dhukh harta

mumbai ka pani data  (BMC)LOL

sukh sampati karta, 

OH! JAL DATA(water giver)

Anu made the call and couldn't help but laugh at the situation. Bathroom ka badla bathroom se! tit for tat

Veer was trapped in bathroom with no water and he couldn't do anything to Anu. How blissful! She realized that she had done the right thing in leaving things to fate.acche logo ke saath hamesha bhagvaan hote h, and biwiyan tho hamesha achhi hoti h na!...Wink...biwiyan kabhi galat nhi hoti.Approve

But what kept her wondering was that if Veer had a lunch meeting then what had happened to the lunch that she had cooked for him.....bhot jaldi yaad aa gaya anu yeh baat tumheLOL

After half an hour, the water supply returnedthnx god, verna veer ko tho ander hi hypothermia ho jata ...issmain bhi ek acchi baat hoti! anu usse apni body heat dekar thiik kar detiBlushing...jab bhi rtmc ke married couple ki baat hoti h, mere ideas thode wild ho jate h...kya karo, main naughty baccha hoon na!.Embarrassed

, Veer thanked the water god and finally bathed. After changing into a t-shirt and tracks he went to the living room with a towel. "Anuuu" He called out. Anu hearing his shout came out of the kitchen and asked, "What happened? Why are you shouting?" He showed her the towel. She understood and shook her head saying, "You wait, and I'm coming." She finished off her work in a few minutes, washed her hands and went to Veer who was already sitting on the carpet in front of the sofa. Anu went and sat on the sofa taking the towel and dried his tho biwi se sir dry karwa raha h...maine socha aisa kya ho gaya...

 "God! Yeh pani ke supply ne to tang kar diya." Veer complained. Anu giggled remembering his soapy face and whispered to herself, "Chalo lunch nahi to shower hi sahi" mar li na! aapne pair per kholahadi

But Veer heard her and asked confused, "Matlab?" Anu fumbled, "Umm'who kuch nahi. By the way Veer where is your lunch box?" Veer gasped suddenly remembering that Anu had cooked lunch for him that day. He turned and took her hands in his, "Sorry! I totally forgot. I had that lunch meeting with the delegates and I hadn't informed you about it. And then I came directly from the hotel so the lunch box is still in the office. I'm so sorry."accha hoa nhi khaya, verna band baaj jati boss!LOL

He said apologetically. Anu couldn't help herself and started laughing, "I'm so happy you didn't eat that food." "Happy? Why?" Veer asked totally perplexed with his wife's reaction. Anu mumbled to herself deciding that it would be best to tell him the truth. "Woh Veer actually I need to tell you something." Then she proceeded to tell him all about what she done to make his lunch extra special and Veer's eyes widened with each word unable to believe that she would do such a thing.....kyun sun kar hi tote udd gaye!Silly.khate tho kya hota, lale pad jate, poore mouth main volcano eruption ho jata,!ROFL

By the time Anu ended her story Veer was standing and looking at Anu dumbfounded. He finally found his voice and uttered, "You messed with my food this bad? You sent me such horrible lunch?" dekha kya danav biwi laye ho aapne ghar main, kachha chaba jayegi,,,,,,,Evil Smile

With every word he bent a little towards her and Anu kept bending backwards on the sofa in reflex. "But you didn't eat it, na?" khaya hota tho tumhari kabki waatt lag gyi hotiWink

She tried to console him. "Thank god for that but you deserve a punishment for that horribly bitter coffee." haan ! milni chahiye!

By this time Anu was completely lying on the sofa with Veer bending over her. "Uh-uh Punishment?"kyun english nhi aati kya tumhe anu...chalo hindi main batati hoon, punishment matlab ki tab di jaati h jab koi naughty harkat karta h,

"Yes, punishment" Veer said lying over her now and deliberately trapping her with his arms. Anu started to babble and explain herself. But Veer would have none of it and kissed her hard. Anu was shocked at first but then reacted with the same fervor as his.

so romantic jii.Blushing

bitter coffee ka, itna sweet punishment,Blushing ab tho rooz anu tumhe bitter coffee hi degi..Embarrassed

kya kare, hamare saare ffs, and os's , ss's ke rt's ko, mugzz ke liye isese better punishment milti hi nhi,Embarrassed sab rt's apin patni ko yahi punishment dete h..Embarrassed...kya kare hamari mugdha h hi itni sweet.Embarrassed

When they broke apart for breath, Anu wrapped her arms around his neck and said smiling "I liked the punishment" "Me too." Veer said and pecked her lips.  punishment kyun nhi acchi lagegi, bitter coffee ke baad itni sweet lips mil jaye tho baat hi kya, vaise bhi deal crack karne ki khushi main MITHAI tho laye nhi tum veer!, so ab tho anu ke sweetest lips se hi kaam chalana padega!.

Anu then asked coyly, "Don't you think we should do something?".you naughty gal...double meaning , hann!.

Veer jerked his head upwards and asked, "Really? I mean what do you want to do?" "I was thinking along the lines of'"Anu said in a husky voice. "Of?" "Of eating." She finished with a grin. popat ho gaya!ROFL

"What yaar Anu! Way to kill the mood!" He whined.awww,,,koi baat nhi.veer,Broken Heart

"Sorry for that. But you're pretty heavy. So please get off me now." Veer made a face at her but then got off the sofa......dekha tumhare pyaar ne kitna mota,Wink oops! healthy kar diya veer ko,Embarrassed khoob acche se khyal rakhna veer ka, khoob khilnaEmbarrassed

They had their dinner and saw some TV cuddling on the sofa. Finally switching it off Veer got up "Chalo Anu. It's late. Let's go to sleep." "Hmm'"Anu murmured sleepily, "I don't feel like walking" so cutei pie!

And stretched her arms towards him. He smiled at her antics and swiftly picked her up in his arms. Anu kept her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes, arms wound around his neck. On their way to the bedroom he asked her, "How are you sure I won't drop you into the bathtub this time?"kabhi nhi sudherenge yeh donoD'oh

Anu opened an eye and then shut it, "No water supply, remember?" yeh, intelligent wifyyy...

Veer rolled his eyes and muttered, "Yeah, right."

He laid her on the bed and then went to switch off all the lights. He slid in bed next to her and kissed her goodnight. Anu smiled and slept with her head on his sweet

The happy couple slept cuddling with each other and with peace on their faces. They were truly made for each other...but then they still love annoying the hell outta each other!......i just loved this couple like hellHug


Somewhere else...

The room is dark. Beside a wooden table lay a Tiffin box. Two rats came scurrying towards it.

Rat1: Jerry, I smell food in there......hey jerry ma favorite!Embarrassed

Rat 2: Yes, Mickey, me too. Let's check it out......and mickey tooEmbarrassed

Both the rats managed to open the box and opened the lids to see the food.

Rat 2: Mickey, I think something's wrong. The food doesn't smell right.....sahi kaha don't eat itOuch

Rat 1: It must be because the man's wife cooked it in the morning and he forgot to have it......plz don't have it

Rat 2: How do you know?

Rat 1: I saw the man while leaving for lunch. He kissed a photo with two women. One of them must be his wife......hey! mickey...u naughty boy! human romance ka bhi maaza lete ho ...veer ko chup kar dekh rahe the!

Rat 2: So why didn't you tell me then? We could have eaten his food then only.

Rat 1: I had planned so. But just then the sweeper came and I also had to meet my girlfriend Minnie......pata h , rtmc ke baad, mickey minnie r ma second fav.Embarrassed

Jerry shook his head in exasperation.

Rat 2: Ok, let's not waste any more time and gorge upon the food....Shocked...noooShockedShockedooo, plz don'tOuch

Both the rats stuffed themselves with Ananya's special lunch and ran back into their holes.....yeh kya anarth kar dala...D'oh


Inside a dilapidated building, lie two dead bodies shrouded with slices of cheese and everyone around them is crying with grief......jerry, mickey mar too crying.Cry

"Why did he have to die?" wailed Minnie.....ab minni  ka kya hoga!, veer anu ki tho love story successful, but minnie ka tho sansar ujhaad diya!Cry

"I'll miss him." said Tom the cat......tommy ke bachhe, u get lost!

The sad demise of the two rats, Mickey and Jerry was mourned by their entire clan. CryCryCryCryCryCryCryCryCryCryCryCryCryCryCryCryCryCryCryCry They had been suffering from severe food indigestion for quite a few days and finally succumbed today early morning. Even Jerry's biggest enemy Tom came to pay his last respect. accha chal tu acchi bhavna se aaya h tho ruk sakta h yahan, pray for jerry

The funeral of the duo was visited by Remy, the famous rat-chef in Ratatouille. After that, the rat clan abandoned Veer's office as a food spot in fear of more deaths......kya sad ending h, Cry

i hate u glossy, u killed jerry n mickey,

'arey minnie ke baare main tho kuch socha hota!...


Moral of the story: Don't irk your wife or face the fate the rats did.

Apni biwi se panga mat lena warna chuhe ki maut maroge!LOL

fantastic moral, maaza aagaya...


***********************THE END***************************
So that was the end of my story!......and i m soon gonna start a new one!.....u forgot u write this, dekha main kitni acchi friend ho tumhari, tumhe yaad dila diya!

Do tell me whether you liked it or not. Suggestions/criticism of all kinds are welcome......u for a have a pyaari si lovely si jhappiHug.jhappi paalo yaarHug

Thanks a ton for reading!.thnx for such a wonderful story...lov u

waiting for next, i won't leave u!...

i just lov ur writing,,,,,,

hope to see a new story soon!

lov u glossy, do keep visiting IF regularly, will lov to talk to u.

lov ya.


Hey rashu buddy!

Thx so much for ur sweet  and long comment!

U r absolutely rite abt Veer's lucky charm

Anu ki forgetfulness selective hai…haha!LOL

Arre wah! Kya ganaa banaya hai!

Sahi kaha…biwiyan thodi na galat hoti hai? Anyway main toh Anu ke side hi hoon!

Volcano eruption..haha…nicely put!LOL

Sahi kaha…mugzz toh hai hi sweetheart

I'm happy u liked the romantic scenes

Intelligent wifyy toh thik hai….but actual source toh main hoon na ?!?!Wink

I'm sorry…mujhe pata nahi tha..that u r such a big fan of Mickey & Jerry

Glad u liked the moral!

Well I will write something…but I have absolutely no idea when?

Jhappi…so sweet!

Luv ya…Smile

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glossyglassy Senior Member

Joined: 25 April 2010
Posts: 313

Posted: 10 April 2012 at 11:03pm | IP Logged


I'm so happy dat u found it funny…Smile

Thx for ur comments…

Luv u…Big smile


I think mujhe SS nahi likhna chahiye tha…it misled pplConfused

Thx for likng my story & for ur comments…

Luv u…Big smile


Hey di!

Thx for ur luvly comment…glad u liked the part & moral

Dnt worry much abt micky & jerry…yeh toh bas story haiLOL

Luv u…Big smile


Thx a ton for reading & commenting…

Luv u…Big smile


Glad u found it funny…most ppl r lamenting micky & jerry's lossLOL

Thx for al da appreciation & ur luvly comment

Luv u…Big smile



Thx so much for commenting & liking the story…

Luv u…Big smile


Glad u found it funnySmile

Thx for al da appreciation & ur luvly comment

Luv u…Big smile


Hey di!

Glad u liked the storyBig smile

Thx for al da appreciation & ur luvly comment

Luv u… Big smile


Glad u liked the story and found the rat scene funnyLOL

Thx for ur comments…

Luv u…Big smile

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glossyglassy Senior Member

Joined: 25 April 2010
Posts: 313

Posted: 10 April 2012 at 11:06pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by sparksfly

res ROFL


A sweet li'l msg for u:Wink

I could wait patiently

But I really wish you would

Drop everything now

And post your comment soonTongue

Hope u realized that the italics are from the Taylor Swift song…LOL

luv u...Big smile

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sweetsanyo IF-Dazzler

Joined: 05 April 2010
Posts: 4262

Posted: 11 April 2012 at 12:01am | IP Logged
me wa8ing for ur next writing...

i m wa8ing...

don't make it too long.

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:


Amor. IF-Stunnerz

Joined: 27 August 2008
Posts: 41175

Posted: 11 April 2012 at 6:13am | IP Logged
loved the ending  


do write more

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:


glossyglassy Senior Member

Joined: 25 April 2010
Posts: 313

Posted: 13 April 2012 at 4:40am | IP Logged
Originally posted by princesspriyart

hiii di ,
1st of all kaan pakad kr sorry Ouch
i know m late Ouch
bt akhir aa hi gai Wink
ye story to such me choti h Confused
mera pet nhi bhara is pad kr
mujhe or chahiye di lambi wali
ok ??
Chlo abhi isi se kaam chla leti hu
awww veer is too naughty Wink
anu ko tub me fek diya LOL
veer h hi naughty hr jagh
hr ff me
ho bhi kyu na jb RAJAT naughty h to veer to hoga hi LOL
ye lo anu se panga Evil Smile
ab jhelo use Thumbs Up
subh subh duniya ki sbse tasty coffee ROFL
anu maze leing LOL
abi to suru aat h bachchu
aage aage dekho hota h kya Evil Smile
i like nivi mom Embarrassed
kitni achi h
bhut bhut bhut achi Big smile
ye veer ki sct. Veer pr hi line mar rhi h Angry
kis or ko dhund le samjhi vrna to... Evil Smile
samjhdar k liye ishara kafi h...
Thanx god veer khana office me hi bhul gya   Ermm
vrna to veer ki to band baj jaati Thumbs Down
anu ka dar LOL
or kr bhi kya skti h
vaise m or veer ek hi thali k chatte batte h
jha khana waha hm n khane me koi gadbad na ho LOL

Awww poor jerry n micky Ouch
my fav spcly jerry Cry
m sok mnati hu jerry k liye ~_~ kanha ji uski aatma ko santi dena

di moral is too good ROFL
bach k rhna re (all husbands) LOL

Hey dear!

waise i'm also dnt call me di

Late hua toh koi baat nahi…atleast comment toh kiaBig smile

Well mujhse zyaada lambi stories nahi likhi jati…chhote se hi kaam chala loWink

Glad u liked all the characters…& the story

Mickey-jerry ki zyaada chinta mat karo…MJ toh amar hai…(pun intented)LOL

I'm happy you liked the moralBig smile

Thx for commenting

Luv uBig smile

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