Posted: 04 April 2012 at 5:11am | IP Logged
Priyanka's real friends ...
April 04, 2012 at 09:47 am
Priyanka Chopra seems to have a lot of 'funny' friends. They are very funny because they speak in a very strange language. When you speak in this language, some people will never know who her friends are referring to. Isn't this funny? Ha! Ha! Ha! It's too funny!
Spread the word
What? You are not laughing out loud? Okay, I will try to explain my joke in as many words I can.
Yesterday morning, there was an article in a leading Mumbai tabloid which was apparently and allegedly engineered by a 'Friend of Priyanka Chopra'. This friend said that Priyanka is being bitched out in every Bollywood party. Apparently, some girls are ganging up against her and tarnishing her public image. Priyanka, apparently, is still blissfully unaware of such grave malicious gossip. All she knows is 'what has happened is in the past'.
No, that is not the joke.
The joke is: Some 'powerful' people in Bollywood couldn't figure out head or tail of the article. And you know what? These people are considered the most intelligent, sensitive and most creative. Now, if you have such high IQ levels, how come you couldn't figure out who are the 'Secret Enemies of Priyanka Chopra?' Sorry, as you read this article, they are still chasing the goose in the dark. So, who are these funny people? Well, here is the list:
Since, we also decided to go to a friend of every such bakra (what else would we call you if you cannot understand a simple tabloid story?) and ask them what makes these people so stupid.
Bakra number one Taran Johar: The article talks about a powerful producer-director who can make or break careers in Bollywood. It also says that the filmmaker is bitching Priyanka out in every party. Not only that, the article goes on to say that this filmmaker launches a vicious anti-Priyanka campaign whenever he meets anybody and he doesn't mind if it's the loo. The article mentions about a particular incident where this filmmaker was feeding Piggy Chops some beef steaks…err…cup cakes and simultaneously bitching about her. So, how was he doing both the things at the same time? He was apparently doing it through telepathy. While his right hand was feeding Priyanka the cupcakes, his left brain was sending out telepathic signals to the other guests of the party that Priyanka was having an affair again. Apparently, the guests in the party didn't pay any heed to him because they were not surprised. So, this powerful producer-director became powerless, came home and committed suicide by killing his bitchy counter-personality who was called Mrs Hyde.
Taran's best friend Shyam Gopal Verma says: "I have always known Taran to be the most powerful filmmaker in Bollywood. Now who's this second one? Is this 'friend' talking about Aditya Chopra? Well, he hardly attends any party. Then is this Raju Hirani? Well, he won't feed Priyanka cupcakes for sure. I also spoke Madhur Bhandarkar, he too is of the opinion that he is not the guy being referred to in the article. So, Taran just couldn't figure out who is Priyanka's friend referring to. Taran is devastated that Priyanka called somebody else powerful and not him. He will ask Priyanka this question when she comes on the next episode of 'Toffee with Taran'.
Bakra number two Shauri Khan: The friend suddenly 'thunders' against a 'power clique of star wives' who have ganged up against PC and (again!) bitching her out in all social dos. So much so, that this friend of Pee Cee (that's how she has been named in the article) has gone on record saying that this particular star wife is very insecure about her superstar husband. Apparently, Priyanka is planning to start a grand battle against this woman by unleashing some cult films on her in which Pee Cee will be the sole actor. These films will be such hits that this star wife will shut herself in her ivory tower and create a small puddle there with all her tears. These super hit films of Pee Cee will not only end her career as a star wife but will also force this former star wife to take up acting in a parallel film of Rituparno Ghosh.
Shauri Khan's best friend Tikasha Basu says: Shauri has always been the quintessential star wife. Now who's this new star wife who has suddenly popped up in between all of us? We all thought that this 'friend' is talking about Saira Bano but then we realized that Saira never had a problem with Priyanka. I always knew that Shauri and Priyanka have never spoken publicly. There were scores of newspaper articles that said Priyanka has been banned from her husband's bungalow. Now, who is this lady who has suddenly found a new-found enmity with our dear Priyanka? Shauri is planning to ask this question to every star wife and she has vowed to find out the identity of this lady. After all, who knows? They might have something in common too!
Bakra number three Deanne Roshan: The article talks about a star wife who has ganged up with Shauri Khan against Priyanka Chopra in the high-pitched bitch battle. It says that this star wife has joined hands with another star wife and has formed a consortium of sorts. What's more? This second star wife is now following the first star wife all over the place and is vouching for the fact that Priyanka Chopra is actually a psychopathic woman who targets every eligible husband on this earth. This second star wife is actually not happy that her husband is doing a film with Priyanka Chopra and she is constantly scheming so that Priyanka Chopra's career doesn't see the flashlight of the camera again. She is also going around and telling everybody that Priyanka should be banned from parties or all the husbands in there should be blind-folded.
Deanne Roshan's best friend Chhaila Sherawat says: "Excuse me! Deanne leads the pack of star wives along with Shauri Khan. She has also formed an interior decoration company with Shauri and is working hard on brand building. Though her husband is doing a film with Priyanka Chopra, she has never bitched about Priyanka Chopra in her life. Now, we cannot say for sure that she is now planning to bitch the hell out of Pee Cee. Now, even before she could start bitching properly against Priyanka Chopra, somebody has just snatched the spotlight away from her by bitching against her. This is so unfair no? Who's this lady? Hello! I am asking you! WHO is this star wife who is taking the limelight away from my dear friend?"
Bakra number four Kindle Khanna: Now, Kindle Khanna has never been friends with Priyanka Chopra and nobody would dare say that it is because her husband Mahasay Kumar once had an affair with Pee Cee. It was a rumour, come on! Apparently, Priyanka's telephone bill was leaked to the press years ago by her former secretary and Mahasay's mobile number featured prominently there. There were articles in leading newspapers that Kindle and Mahasay were fighting all the time because of Priyanka Chopra. Now, some bitchy journalist wrote that Kindle Khanna finally stopped fighting with Mahasay when she got an assurance that he would never work with Priyanka Chopra ever again. Though Kindle Khanna has never been found bitching about Priyanka, she surely now does it mentally. After all, she is a mental case who is refuses to admit that she is mental.
Says Kindle Khanna's best friend Damrata Shirodkar: "This is very unfair on Kindle. All her life she was in the limelight because she was known as somebody who couldn't stand Priyanka Chopra. Now, Kindle hates the fact that her mental campaign called 'Let's Hate Priyanka Chopra' campaign has been hijacked by somebody else. Kindle is very devastated and wants to open a Facebook page so that she can locate this female and ask her why she did that to her. Can you help me? Hello, I need HELP!?"
Bakra(s) number five Saseem Merchant, Suleiman Khan, Naheed Kapur, Mahasay Kumar, Durman Baweja, Ruk Ruk Khan, Gambhir Kapoor: The article talks about all of Priyanka's ex-boyfriends desperately wanting to work with her. The article also talks about all of Priyanka's exes (not only ex-boyfriends but ex-shut-up-we-are-just-good-friends also) preparing a press release to announce films with Priyanka Chopra again. Now, there's no name mentioned but the article says that the films will be announced soon and it will soon rock the entertainment world.
All the above names had one common friend called Taran Johar and he says: "But I know for a fact they are not working with her! And the rest of the heroes who are not ex-boyfriends are all friends of one or the other ex-boyfriend of PC. So, most of the heroes in Bollywood won't work with her ever again! Hello, I am tweeting against her, just see my tweets. Are you LISTENING?"
Now, don't you think they are all very funny and have low IQ levels? We have now decided certify them as 'Unfit for Bollywood!'
Did you finally understand my joke or you want to join their club? If you want to join the Let's Hate Pee Cee club, here's the latest update for you: They are meeting soon at an emergency party tonight where there's no guarantee that they won't bitch about Priyanka Chopra.
[This is strictly for enetrtainment purpose
... let the fun begin]