I feel so sorry for you, or for him, but why am I laughing? Thats just wrong. Is it all the same guy? OMG poor guy is getting abused by you.
This reminds me of my 6th grade crush. We were at the graduation picnic and we were playing Jerry Springer(if you don't know what that is look it up on youtube), its basically where you tell people what your problem is with them and then you argue about it like uncivilized beings. anyway I didn't want anyone to know that I liked him, and my mouth just took over and I said a lot of bad things. He didn't speak to for the rest of the year. We were actually friends before that.
7th grade- I liked this other guy and we were playing some ball game and I sort of tripped but in process I pushed him from behind, literally I pushed his butt. Yeah that didn't go of well either.
8th grade- that was the worst. He was tall, friendly, smart, nice, the perfect guy ever! We used to talk a lot. So one day the class was playing truth and dare, and if you chose truth they would no if you lied or not by checking your pulse rate. It was my turn and I chose truth. I was asked "do you like Nick?" I snatched my hand away and said OUT LOUD, NO I DONT!! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT. Their response: yes you do, you always blush and giggle around him (I HATE MY LIGHT SKIN). I kept shouting No and then turned around and guess who was behind me, NICK. My life flashed in front of me. That was so horrible. I couldn't look him in the eye from then on.
9th-12th grade I had a crush on the same guy. Unfortunately I never spoke to him or went near him. My past experience shows I become a complete blathering idiot in front of my crushes. So James didn't know me at all, but I knew EVERYTHING about him <sigh> my sad love story.