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HELP! My parents won't let me marry the guy I love

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Rizzy

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Rizzy

Joined: 02 March 2012

Posts: 7

Posted: 02 March 2012 at 12:05pm | IP Logged
I hope someone can help me in this miserable situation. My boyfriend and I have been with each other for 5 years. We know each other inside out and we love each other a lot. I can't even imagine my life without him.

I recently told my parents about my boyfriend and how I want to marry him. My mom and dad both didn't approve and they were begging me not to contact him ever again. My dad was saying how he doesn't feel like getting out of the house ever again because other people know about mine and my boyfriends relationship and he was saying stuff like he rather kill himself.

My mom and dad kept telling me how I am ruining my family's reputation. My boyfriend went to college but he never finished it or got his degree but he owns a business and makes decent money.
 
I feel horrible because my parents kept saying things like "We are so ashamed right now" "Not in a million years did we think out daughter was going to do something like this." "I can't even show my face to other people now" and etc.  I can't stop crying because I'm scared of losing my boyfriend but I'm also scared about disappointing my parents.

P.S.- His parents approve of me completely and his parents were 100% cool and ok with our relationship. It's only my parents making the drama and this situation hard.

What should I do? I know this is true love but I also love my parents. How do I convince my parent? Have any of you been through a situation like this?

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persistence

Goldie

persistence

Joined: 11 August 2005

Posts: 1779

Posted: 13 March 2012 at 12:00pm | IP Logged
why are they opposing the match? What are their concerns? Appease their fears, if they are reasonable, with reason. Otherwise, you can stand by and see if their heart changes because yours is set. If not, you can either marry anyways - they may or may not come around. Or you can break things off with your love. Choice is yours.

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Rizzy

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Rizzy

Joined: 02 March 2012

Posts: 7

Posted: 13 March 2012 at 3:01pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by persistence

why are they opposing the match? What are their concerns? Appease their fears, if they are reasonable, with reason. Otherwise, you can stand by and see if their heart changes because yours is set. If not, you can either marry anyways - they may or may not come around. Or you can break things off with your love. Choice is yours.


He is Indian like me and he is the same religion as me but he is a different caste and he is not as educated as me. My parents are worried about their reputation if I marry a guy who is different caste from me and who is less educated then me :( I feel horrible.
 
My parents were crying and begging me not to "ruin" the family by marrying him. They threatened me they weren't going to talk to me ever if I married him.

My boyfriend has done so much for me and loves me a lot, I love him a lot too. This situation is hell!


Edited by Rizzy - 13 March 2012 at 3:10pm

Rizzy

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Rizzy

Joined: 02 March 2012

Posts: 7

Posted: 13 March 2012 at 3:08pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by A.B.C.D.E

Don't listen whatever your father says to you. If he is not being able to understand your love for your lover, elope with him one day then your father will realize how much you love your lover .


The problem is that my parents have done so much for me and I love them, but my boyfriend has also done so much for me and I love him too. I can't live without either of them but in this situation I ultimately will end up ruining atleast 1 relationship. Either I listen to my parents and ruin the perfect relationship that I have with my boyfriend or I marry the guy I love and lose my parents :(

I need advice. I feel miserable

KaShCrazyAneesa

Goldie

KaShCrazyAneesa

Joined: 26 October 2007

Posts: 1643

Posted: 14 March 2012 at 4:34pm | IP Logged
In the end you will be living with your husband for the rest of your life. So if its someone you love you should get married to them. Your parents might feel like your making the wrong decision in life and might have thought about choosing your husband for you, it might have never occurred to them that you would choose your own husband. If I was in your position I would feel stuck as well because I doubt I would be able to live without my parents especially my mum but I would get married to the guy and hopefully my parents would slowly start to accept him. Tell you parents not to listen to everyone else, you cant do everything to make society happy.

persistence

Goldie

persistence

Joined: 11 August 2005

Posts: 1779

Posted: 14 March 2012 at 5:51pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Rizzy

Originally posted by persistence

why are they opposing the match? What are their concerns? Appease their fears, if they are reasonable, with reason. Otherwise, you can stand by and see if their heart changes because yours is set. If not, you can either marry anyways - they may or may not come around. Or you can break things off with your love. Choice is yours.


He is Indian like me and he is the same religion as me but he is a different caste and he is not as educated as me. My parents are worried about their reputation if I marry a guy who is different caste from me and who is less educated then me :( I feel horrible.
 
My parents were crying and begging me not to "ruin" the family by marrying him. They threatened me they weren't going to talk to me ever if I married him.

My boyfriend has done so much for me and loves me a lot, I love him a lot too. This situation is hell!
 
Hmm, can't change his caste. how much more educated are you? does he make enough for you to live comfortably? Does he want to study more, so you two are at the same level? You can surely ask if their "reputation" matters more than their girl's happiness. Are people who are going to talk about you or your family really their friends then?

xenots

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xenots

Joined: 23 November 2011

Posts: 49

Posted: 18 March 2012 at 1:13am | IP Logged
Watch Kuch Toh Log Kahenge...I guess you will find some solution from it...

iTangled_25

IF-Stunnerz

iTangled_25

Joined: 08 December 2008

Posts: 41533

Posted: 21 March 2012 at 10:10pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by xenots

Watch Kuch Toh Log Kahenge...I guess you will find some solution from it...
There are a lot of other important issues this girl has to attend to, rather than watching that daily soap, besides, the situation is different and it's not so much of reality.

@Topic Maker: Have you tried asking your boyfriend to speak toy your parents? Somehow I also think if this guy has a good reputation, comes from a decent family and you've tested him thick and thin and you're more than a 100% sure that he is the one, then you should somehow be able to bring this to your parents eyes. They'll be convinced eventually, they should trust and believe that their daughter was brought up to love someone her parents will like. I'm sure apart from caste and education (which he can do later as well) you're parents have no issues.

They are stretching this way too much though. Ouch

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