Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus

jammy Goldie

Joined: 28 September 2004
Posts: 1025

Posted: 25 October 2004 at 3:02am | IP Logged

I dont know if its true but its funny as hell!! I was
laughing like for 2 hours after reading this. Do read
till the end and feel free to pass it on Smile .

Also a warning to those who are easily offended by bad language. It does has some bad language in funny tone. If people dont like it they are welcome to tell me on post and I would just delete it.

But read it with humourous mind and you will like it Wink


Here it goes.

Remember the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from
Venus"? Well, here's a
prime example offered by an English professor at an
American University.

In-class Assignment for Wednesday: "Today we will
experiment with a new form
called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each
person will pair off
with the person sitting to his or her immediate right.
One of you will then
write the first paragraph of a short story. The
partner will read the first
paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story.
The first person
will then add a third paragraph, and so on back and

Remember to re-read what has been written each time in
order to keep the
story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking
and anything you wish
to say must be written on the paper. The story is over
when both agree a
conclusion has been reached."

The following was actually turned in by two of my
English students,

Rebecca - last name deleted, and Gary - last name
------------------------------------------------------------ ----

STORY: (first paragraph by Rebecca)

At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she
wanted. The
camomile, which used to be her favourite for lazy
evenings at home, now
reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in
happier times, that he
liked camomile. But she felt she must now, at all
costs, keep her mind off
Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she
thought about him too
much her asthma started acting up again. So camomile
was out of the

Second Para (By gary)


Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the
attack squadron now
in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to
think about than the
neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie
with whom he had
spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris
to Geostation 17," he
said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit
established. No
sign of resistance so far..." But, before he could
sign off, a bluish
particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a
hole through his ship's
cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him
flying out of his seat and
across the cockpit.


He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but
not before he felt one
last pang of regret for psychically brutalising the
one woman who had ever
had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped
its pointless
hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4.
"Congress Passes Law
Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel" Laurie
read in her newspaper
one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and
bored her. She stared
out the window, dreaming of her youth - when the days
had passed unhurriedly
and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no
television to distract her from
her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful
things around her. "Why
must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she
pondered wistfully.


Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds
to live. Thousands of
miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership
launched the first of its
lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy
peaceniks who pushed the
Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through
congress had left Earth a
defenceless target for the hostile alien empires who
were determined to
destroy the human race. Within two hours after the
passage of the treaty
the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth,
carrying enough firepower to
pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them,
they swiftly
initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion
missile entered the
atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret
mobile submarine
headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam,
felt the
inconceivably massive explosion which vaporised poor,
stupid, Laurie and 85
million other Americans. The President slammed his
fist on the conference
table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that
treaty! Let's blow
'em out of the sky!"


This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of
literature. My
writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic,
semi-literate adolescent.


Yeah? Well, you're a self-centred tedious neurotic
whose attempts at writing
are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh shall I
have camomile tea? Or
shall I have some other sort of TEA??? Oh no
I'm such an air headed
bimbo who reads too many Mills & Boon novels."









Go drink some tea


Edited by smisha - 01 December 2004 at 7:34pm

Minnie IF-Rockerz

Joined: 20 September 2004
Posts: 8633

Posted: 30 October 2004 at 12:03am | IP Logged


 A very good one Jammy!!!!!!!!

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