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Importance of Girl child. Awesome topic on DABH!

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kiranb06

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kiranb06

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Posted: 22 February 2012 at 1:25pm | IP Logged

Media is a powerful medium that can be instrumental in changing people's thinking. For all those people (including myself) who avoided watching all the cruelty toward Sandhya in the past few weeks, there are still people out there, esp in rural areas, that thrive on those kind of situations. In order to drive home the point about the importance of a girl child, and who actually is responsible for conceiving baby girls, the show had to appeal to those kind of rural people out there by showing the extreme negativity first. Kudos to the team with the way they handled this topic!

I am so glad that this show has addressed a critical flaw in our Indian culture regarding baby girls, their conception, and their importance. Women have had to work thrice as hard as men to achieve success (our generation is lucky that our parents' generation did most of the hard work to breakthrough all the barriers, and made our paths easier). In a country like India, where Indira Gandhi, a woman, became Prime Minister (even the US has not had a female President yet), where we pray to Goddesses like Lakshmiji and Saraswati ji, where women have achieved new heights in all kinds of fields, be it medicine, law, corporate, sports, arts, etc, it is a great message that DABH is passing on to lesser educated people that girls are no less important than boys.  
The differences between baby girls and baby boys isn't nearly as apparent on the surface amongst the educated class as it is in the less educated, but for some reason, deep down, there are a lot of people out there who do prefer having a boy versus a girl. For ex, my sister's MIL who is very educated, has lived in the US for most of her life, and who absolutely loves her little granddaughters, once asked my sis if they're going to have another child. When sis said "no, we're happy with our two," her MIL casually asked if they wouldn't want to try having a boy next. She is educated enough to know that it shouldn't matter if they have a boy or girl, and also that its not in my sis's hands. But she, like so many others, is "culturally Indian-rooted enough" to secretly wish for a boy who will carry on the family name. Again, it was just a statement. But the deep-rooted Indian mentality, brought down from our ancestors and old films, that have always highlighted the importance of having a boy, cannot be completely extinguished amongst some of the educated older generations as well.


Edited by kiranb06 - 22 February 2012 at 1:37pm

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Avidfan

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Posted: 22 February 2012 at 1:44pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by kiranb06


I am so glad that this show has addressed a critical flaw in our Indian culture regarding baby girls, their conception, and their importance. Women have had to work thrice as hard as men to achieve success (our generation is lucky that our parents' generation did most of the hard work to breakthrough all the barriers, and made our paths easier). In a country like India, where Indira Gandhi, a woman, became Prime Minister (even the US has not had a female President yet), where we pray to Goddesses like Lakshmiji and Saraswati ji, where women have achieved new heights in all kinds of fields, be it medicine, law, corporate, sports, arts, etc, it is a great message that DABH is passing on to lesser educated people that girls are no less important than boys.  

It is not just in India that women are not treated at par or equal to men. All of us who live and work in the USA and UK know very well that even in these countries women are not treated equal to men, they have to work thrice as hard to achieve the same success, they are paid less than men for the same job, they do most of the house work and have the responsibility of the children. At least in India women have the support of their families and in laws. In the west they do not even have that. 

And even in the west they do have a gender bias and men are considered to be superior to women.

My view is that in certain respect women are treated with more respect and deference in India compared to the West. The women's lib did erode on that!


The differences between baby girls and baby boys isn't nearly as apparent on the surface amongst the educated class as it is in the less educated, but for some reason, deep down, there are a lot of people out there who do prefer having a boy versus a girl. Again, it wasn't even a minor topic, it was just a statement. But the deep-rooted Indian mentality, brought down from our ancestors and old films, that have always highlighted the importance of having a boy, cannot be completely extinguished amongst some of the educated older generations as well.

I will again reiterate that even in the West (may be not as pronounced as in India) they prefer boys to girls. 

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fannn

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Posted: 22 February 2012 at 2:51pm | IP Logged
yes, I don 't know if they prefer boys to girls but they love to have a boy if they have already two girls and vice versa.  
When I went for childbirth classes, there I met first time moms and dads and they were genuinely excited with whatever they were having.   Almost all the foriegn women I have met here, unlike (usually) in India, don't feel sad for having a girl at all!   The women generally say their husband would love to have atleast one boy as they want to experience having a son.
 
They don't have expectations like in India that the son will feed them and look after them in old age. So there is a BIG difference in the mentality.


Edited by fannn - 22 February 2012 at 2:51pm

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Posted: 22 February 2012 at 2:57pm | IP Logged
Nice post Big smile.  And a standing ovation for Sandhya and the creative heads of DABH Clap for tackling this issue.
 
 
But this sort of narow-mindedness is prevelant not only in India...but across the board in the world in general.  You ask anyone...if they were allowed to have only one child...I'm sure the majority (if being honest) will say they would want a boy.
 
 
And this is regardless of economic or educational status...East or West...this is the general thinking...It's the sad truth...
 
On second thought...forget the West...they're a lost civilization (civilized...Hmmm D'oh...Cough...Cough..Infrastructure aside...Doesn't that imply you have at least some remenants of tradition...sanskar?)
 
In the East...It's a simple formula really, people will say...
 
Boys = A sound retirement nest egg + continuity of the family line + providing a future servant...Oops! slip of the tongue...I meant Bahu.
 
Girls=Coughing up money to provide for someone who will leave your home eventually with no further beneift to you  + the burden of coughing up a dowery + the burden of always remaining wary of her sasural.
 
What's even sadder is that such thinking is often passed on from one generation of women to the next.  It's always old wives tale...Not old husbands tale.
 
And this will continue until we women put an end to it.  It's our husbands', our brothers', our fathers', and our sons' that go out there and don't give women their equal share.  When are we going to get up and say...Enough!! 
 
And we think we're living in the 21st century...D'oh 
 

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Avidfan

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Posted: 22 February 2012 at 2:59pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by fannn

yes, I don 't know if they prefer boys to girls but they love to have a boy if they have already two girls and vice versa.  
When I went for childbirth classes, there I met first time moms and dads and they were genuinely excited with whatever they were having.   Almost all the foriegn women I have met here, unlike (usually) in India, don't feel sad for having a girl at all!   The women generally say their husband would love to have atleast one boy as they want to experience having a son.

But even in India now they do not care as much as they used to. At least not in the India I know and have experienced. 

And as I know, middle America is not to far away. Men want little sons to play football and baseball with. But yes, not like India. 
 
 
They don't have expectations like in India that the son will feed them and look after them in old age. So there is a BIG difference in the mentality.

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kiranb06

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kiranb06

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Posted: 22 February 2012 at 4:36pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Avidfan

Originally posted by kiranb06


I am so glad that this show has addressed a critical flaw in our Indian culture regarding baby girls, their conception, and their importance. Women have had to work thrice as hard as men to achieve success (our generation is lucky that our parents' generation did most of the hard work to breakthrough all the barriers, and made our paths easier). In a country like India, where Indira Gandhi, a woman, became Prime Minister (even the US has not had a female President yet), where we pray to Goddesses like Lakshmiji and Saraswati ji, where women have achieved new heights in all kinds of fields, be it medicine, law, corporate, sports, arts, etc, it is a great message that DABH is passing on to lesser educated people that girls are no less important than boys.  

It is not just in India that women are not treated at par or equal to men. All of us who live and work in the USA and UK know very well that even in these countries women are not treated equal to men, they have to work thrice as hard to achieve the same success, they are paid less than men for the same job, they do most of the house work and have the responsibility of the children. At least in India women have the support of their families and in laws. In the west they do not even have that. 

And even in the west they do have a gender bias and men are considered to be superior to women.

My view is that in certain respect women are treated with more respect and deference in India compared to the West. The women's lib did erode on that!


The differences between baby girls and baby boys isn't nearly as apparent on the surface amongst the educated class as it is in the less educated, but for some reason, deep down, there are a lot of people out there who do prefer having a boy versus a girl. Again, it wasn't even a minor topic, it was just a statement. But the deep-rooted Indian mentality, brought down from our ancestors and old films, that have always highlighted the importance of having a boy, cannot be completely extinguished amongst some of the educated older generations as well.

I will again reiterate that even in the West (may be not as pronounced as in India) they prefer boys to girls. 

You have a point there but to a certain degree...differences in men and women are apparent even in the West, but mostly in the job force (which is what your viewpoint was based on, and like I said, you are right about that). When it comes to the workforce, I do believe India has advanced much more than the West. But in this post here, we're talking about parents and their views on having a baby boy vs a baby girl. In the West, parents generally don't care whether their baby is a boy or a girl. They just want a happy, healthy baby. Baby girls are treated with just as much love, affection, and given the same opportunities as their sons. I'm not saying that India all over is socially unaware of gender equality. As I said, most of the educated class appreciate girls just as much as boys...and our generation even more so. But it is a well known fact that in our culture boys were always given preference over girls... for example, if both son & a daughter had the opportunity to go abroad for further studies, and lets say the daughter was smarter, would appreciate the education much more, and is more determined than their son, even then the parents, if they could afford to send only one, would still put their son first. I know its changed now in the metro cities, but one can't deny that this mentality was definitely a huge part of our culture upto our parents generations, and is still there amongst a certain class of people.


Edited by kiranb06 - 22 February 2012 at 4:42pm

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Posted: 23 February 2012 at 6:02am | IP Logged
Thus,Overall conclusion is that It will take time(in terms of centuries) to shift the mindset of people around the globe because we are all born from one DNA. This bandwagon is being carrying forward to generations from many centuries.Embarrassed

There is gigantic difference between person who is well-educated and well-qualified. I've seen people who're highly-qualified but lack of even basic humanity values, also seen people who're less qualified like studied till 10th grade still they carry such a noble values towards life. I reckon it's depend upon how an individual look it at the life.

We can become a part of revolutionary movements and make people aware as much as possible till last breath of our life.(Doesn't matter which part of the world we're living in.)Smile


Edited by ami1987 - 23 February 2012 at 6:03am

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