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Am in Dilemma..somebody please switch on lights (Page 3)

gohem123 IF-Dazzler
gohem123
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Joined: 05 September 2011
Posts: 3681

Posted: 09 February 2012 at 5:03pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Chitrashi

Originally posted by gohem123

Is there any girl who can tell me something?


Is it so easy to forget your first love? A man who had fought for you, who you love and who have to go to jail just because he loves you ?

Before we ask ourselves whether it is easy for a girl to forget her first love, let us understand what does "First Love" actually mean. Doesn't "First Love" mean that there are subsequent loves - second, third, fourth and so on? By using the words "First Love" you are yourself answering your question.

If we go by token of " a man who fought for you, love you, went to jail for you" as a description of a true lover, then poor Aishwarya Rai would have to marry at least a thousand crazy men. That my dear to me is a definition of a stalker and a roadside romeo and not a man who loves you. An honorable man who loves you will never seek to insult you.

Sneaking into a girl's bedroom is cause enough for a severe beating and at least a couple of broken limbs in any locality. Akaash did not go to jail because he was that "Oh so honorable a man who is madly in love", he was a sneak - plain and simple. He was not walking into his friend's house, he was walking into DS's house. It was necessary for him to at the very least introduce himself to the family.

What if DS gets Manyata after manyata's marriage with akash?Will she be asked to forget him and marry uday just because she is a princess..?Will you all root for Manveer if that was the case..?

You ask if M was already married to Akaash would the family ask you to forget it. I ask you if M was not kidnapped as a child and met Akaash while buying shoes in a mall and started an affair with him despite being engaged to UV, would that be right?

Both are big suppositions and have zilch to do with the series. If Manyata had not been kidnapped would her relationship with Akaash have been right? That is how the family looks at this question.

I saw many posts  saying that Uday will become friend with her and at the end she will go to him but a girl can have many friends..so why do you think she will forget her love who loved her when she was nothing, no princess, and goes to Uday..?

If you've read those posts you would've also read lengthy discussions by members who would've stated their reasons, why they think that such an eventuality would come to pass. It is unfair to ask members of the forum to recap for you something that has been discussed at length in threads going in to several pages.

Many bollywood films are releasing now a days having the same concept..You think you love someone..then you go on with the hero for  a journey..sleep with him..then you realise you love him and you marry him..what if these girls started going out with men each and every day for some hours on a journey ?(in films they just goes without having any reason just like that. Even if there is reason is this the way Indian girls are?)

Secondly, let us retain the discussion of love to healthy and clean PG7 level. Where is it written that "love" necessarily means physical intimacy. By nature your very question is insulting to all members of the forum.

I hope all members have enough intelligence here to distinguish between fact and fiction. If we judge by standards of a film and make generalizations, we are not insulting members of any particular race, we are exhibiting our own limited intelligence. Such questions do not mark a wit, they are just stupid juvenile utterances of a small minded person.

Am in big dilemma..i thought love can happen only at once..but hearing all these theories I think there's no such thing as love there's only time ..The more you spend time with one person the more probability you got in falling love with that person..

There is a huge difference between "First Love" and "True Love". Love is not about spending time with a  person, it is about waking up at 6 in the morning and boiling milk and making tea for someone else, when you dearly wish to simply lie in the bed and hope that someone would get you the bed tea. But why am I telling you this? You are yet to understand the difference between real and reel, between fact and fiction. 

Is there any girl or woman who can guide me? Are my thoughts wrong? Should I need to change my perspective?

No you don't need to change your perspective, you need to get one. And before you begin to get a perspective, you need to get emotional maturity. That is a process that cannot be hurried.

Sorry to be no blunt and dismissive, but your post really has my blood boiling at the moment because I expected something sensible from a person who has long been a member of IF, and then to get such drivel is unbelievable.

Thank You

 



Wow...nice long post...i read and re-read and i think my view has caused you so much pain..sorry about that and what's this with senior memeber and all...there's nothing like that...even seniors seek advice when they are in dilemma...right?
After reading your post i think you should be able to answer this question too..

J love Uday but Uday doesn't love him..But no one wants uday to fall in love with J
Uday love moniya/manyata but she doesn't love him, yet everyone wants her to fall in love with him...

Why is that so?( Don't say that because its serial ..LOL )
Hope you don't take it seriously or anything..just want to know your opinion...

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-Purva-lostmymusic.

xpakigirlx Senior Member
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Posts: 788

Posted: 09 February 2012 at 9:44pm | IP Logged
its not love...simple answer ...she is immature and childish..just because he was sweet to her and her chawl friends made some salman khan image of his deosnt make it love..infact it dosen't even appeal to us.the way they tlk laugh n behave being in a relation..now when she will face the world and get some brain she will have to understand that she was wrong..akaash accepted her as MONIYA..but udaY accepted her as MONIA and will love her as Manyaata ALSO

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magicalworldgohem123

dreamyjennice IF-Sizzlerz
dreamyjennice
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Joined: 17 December 2011
Posts: 10809

Posted: 09 February 2012 at 10:55pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by NightStarr

Originally posted by dreamyjennice

hey my twinkling star...u can call me ana...as for archhana...and yes i agree parents always wish for their children...but it may not be right always...but wat mkes them diff and ur parents is they accept it,regret it and stand by you...forever...as for agreeing...love makes one blind...it makes us quite immune to anything good or bad...so you have only 2 choices then...either u revolt or accept...no offence...but practically  ihave seen it happening with me...i gave to my parents...tht i was sacrificing...and now i thank them coz now i understand wat true love is...my hubby has made me realize...coz he loves me and has accepted me with all my good and evil as well...he is stood by me wen i was fighting death...this is wat love is...we fight..we hate but we accept and share reality...he doesnt bother being soft with me wen am in the rong...but guides me...wat br said to m...learn the lessons...and i will guide you...so that i become a strong and responsible person...so my pov...nothing is guaranteed...LOVE HAS MANY FORMS AND MANY WAYS OF ENTERING YOUR HEART AND YOUR SOUL...AND EVERY TIME IT CAN BE PURE AND TRUE...TIME...ONLY IT ALONE DECIDES AND GUIDES US...THESE R MY 2 CENTS...AS FOR FALLING IN LOVE MORE THAN ONCE...


Aww love the twinkling star name by you Hugand I used to use ana as my screen name back when I was younger so love the name! I am glad you have someone like your husband in your life to guide you and love you for your all perfections and imperfections. Inshallah both of you will live a long and a happy life Heart

As for your post difenetly agree with you. Time heals every wound as well as brings change. Time makes one fall in love, fall out of love, hate someone, stop hating someone and so on...So time is one of the most imporant aspect of our lives if not the most important.

so twinlkling star...my name is archhana...my friends call me ana...and jennice is my dream name...and a name i used for my first and last blind dateWink...heheheheh...i have been a naughty girl...lol!!!!!
dreamyjennice IF-Sizzlerz
dreamyjennice
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Posts: 10809

Posted: 09 February 2012 at 11:46pm | IP Logged
theres
Originally posted by Kalapi

Originally posted by dreamyjennice

hi dear...agree with u first love isnt easy to forget...{but it has to be love...not feeling of love...]but if you talk of wat if she was found after marriage with akash...so i say wat if instead of a roka uv and manyata were already married in childhood...wat if she wasnt kidnapped at all...there may be so many scenarious...we r just talking of wat we r presented with,,,,,,,,,,ok they could have married...but y didnt they go then...if she could chose murari over akash...y cant she do it with her real parents...the fact is she isnt married nor engaged to akash...so uv claiming her is right...he has waited for her 16 yrs...she was a complete diff girl in the chawl...but in her own house she is rebellius...reason being she is running from her identity coz wit that comes huge resposibility...u talk of indian girls...well not only indian...but any girl would think twice calling her bf and hiding her in her room...that too at night...forget that any bf...the stupidest of all will also understand...the virtue of a girl...he preaches how to talk to a lady...he shows his ethics there...but...where r those ethics...when u create a stunt like getting into her room...u call that love...talking throuhj window is excepted but bed roommm...well its just too intimate...as for love...i agree not easy to forget...but...love doesnt blind you to lose all ethics...u have to change in front of me...gosh i dont thimk any bf would tell that...y to create such an humiliating...scene for the girl u love...so we root for maanveer becoz we have been presented with an option...we can see...thouh he is prince...but u notice...he always takes permission before going to her room...y didnt akash do it if he truly loved her...common...he should have been brave enough...we have been shown monash without any depth...he says u will always be free with me...common now...imagine after marrying monash...she will have to be a struggling hw...she has to take on responsibiliyies even then...just coz of his wife akash cant leave his parents...they will expect a lot from her too...so y create an oillusion...if they truly love they should face the fact...she should face the fact .did she even once think wen he spent his whole salary for her sandals..she never tht about his hard earned income and how he would run his house...even they have dreams...not only m...but she dreams only about herself...u call that love...naa...so i believe love can happen more than once...but first u need to realize is it actually love...then can u think of the second one...
Hi Dreamygirl (not sure what to call u), but as far as I can remember, Muniya challenged Askash to show her he loved her (of course Becoz of Jay) and to prove he loved Her, he came to the so called palace, right dressed as a chef...once Munica recognized Akash...she took are in her room (of course becoz the so called palace wasn't a safe place for akash...as far as I could see, they were not engaged in any thing inappropriate, rather Muniya wsa trying to get Akash out safely without anyone knowing when they were caught...so how as a veiwer are we saying the situation isn't ethical...are we saying any boy being in the room is inappropriate..or in this age we say girl/boy in a room isn't appropriate at all...I am confused...
hi there...so we having a really worthy discussion...i beleive its good...that r wat forums r for...right...u can call me ana or jennice or whatever u like...since i dont no wat to call u a call u a friend..if u dont mind...coming to the point...agree muniya did this...and akash came to prove ..but ...think for yourself...in a fit of anger u tell something to a loved one...he would react and prove to you but wat is rong is the way akash took...being a maturer...thats wat cvz have shown us...he should have understood...the time and situation...its consequences...if he loves her so much...he must know wat her nature and behaviour is...some situations demand a lot of thinking and maturity...i am not supporting moniya...but if it was normal family..normal circumstances...a boy in a girls room even if best of friends.. that too at night...i dont think its as yet acceptable in our culture...meet ...go out..party...but found in a bed room hiding...not acceptable at all...and akash being from a low society{i dont like calling chawl...its too demeaning...he is an educated hard working person] should have known this much better than the royals...the earthen virtues..and deep rooted culture of his people and country...we saw wat was going on in the room...but wen u love someone as they r feeling...it could have lead to anything...i could sense a feeling of intimacy...he couldnt stop staring at her,,,,y did he suddenly say i cant handle anymore   lets get married...if u dont understand the meaning behind this phrase ,...u gotta be kidding...say some reportr or some guest caught up with a guy hiding in your room with a guy dressed as a shef that too in a closet...uff...they rn't going to wait for your explanations...especially wen the whole world knows that he was moniya's chawl wala bf...put 2 and 2 together...i dont need to explain...image is all tarnished...all explanations go out of window...a girls virue ,,rich or poor is her biggest asset...thats y it was inethical...Shocked
 
 
Secondly, rich girl shouldn't fall in love or marry a poor boy...is that what you mean ny saying how much Muniya's sandals cost...Muniya might 'want' the sandal, but might just be happy without it...happiness isn't equvalent to money...also in real life there are examples of rich girls marrying poor boys and being happy...it isn't necessarily about monetary gains or the fact that becoz M is already engaged that Marriage is given for her...she was an infant when that happened, was she ever consulted...what if she was kidnapped, engaged with UV but then fell in Love with all her richess with Akash...what if then...love isn't depended on anything ...it happens...my pOV, of course
def..if you have read my post plz reread it...love doesnt see riches...caste ..creed...status...muniya wanted sandal...and akash gave him...i am talking of depth of their love and maturity...did she once realise...wat imp his salary has to his family and house...do u straight away take such an expensive gift from a guy whom you have met just for few hours back...she couldnt stop herself...she should have refused...but she didnt...she shd have told him to be practical...house doesnt run by itself...even best of friends...my pov...dont give so expensive gifts...even if they have been friends for few years...neither would i take...remind you they were not yet lovers or even bf and gf...as for scenarious...ema's..do happen...love after marrige ...well many examples...love between young and old...many examples...but love sustains where you flow along with reality...u think about your steps and decisions...u dont crib and cry everytime...u try to find solutions..a way out to be together without making a fool of anyone...love doesnt come without pain dear...and instead of howling...throwing tantrums..acting selfishly...u care ...think..safegaurd each other...money...its an essential part...though not the most imp...it takes backseat...but it def..travels..along...making a public show of love...thats not love..thats spotlight..fame...my pov...love makes ..one...or destroys one...or can do both...no def of love...shout i love you  doesnt count ...but sitting near your lover holding hands and just waking to see ur partner smile...without as much promoting is love...hating someone ...yet standing by and accepting the person as they r ..without changing them but helping them adapt to the new environment is love for me...Smile...theres a song by celiene dion...i want to be your eyes wen you cant see...i want to be your lips wen you cant speak...wanna be your voice...when u cant talk...wanna be with you and complete you...thats wat is love for me...

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akshaayagohem123

-Purva- IF-Dazzler
-Purva-
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Joined: 16 December 2010
Posts: 4587

Posted: 10 February 2012 at 12:35am | IP Logged
Originally posted by gohem123



Wow...nice long post...i read and re-read and i think my view has caused you so much pain..sorry about that and what's this with senior memeber and all...there's nothing like that...even seniors seek advice when they are in dilemma...right?
After reading your post i think you should be able to answer this question too..

I am sorry for my outburst yesterday, I think I kind of over-reacted and misunderstood your words somewhere. Thank you taking it so sportingly.

J love Uday but Uday doesn't love him..But no one wants uday to fall in love with J
Uday love moniya/manyata but she doesn't love him, yet everyone wants her to fall in love with him...

Why is that so?( Don't say that because its serial ..LOL )

I would've rooted for J and UV union, if J showed that she cared for UV. J is too wrapped up in her own insecurities to care for anyone else as yet. Also in the timeline of the serial, she is quite young. As per the story she wasn't born when M was kidnapped, that means she could not older than 16-17 at the most. She is too young to begin her emotional journey as yet. Even if give some allowance for the way serial writers take liberties with timelines and ages, J is still not in love with UV.

She wants to marry him, rather she wants him to marry her, but she is not in love with him. When she was first engaged to Jagat, she told her friends that she accepted Jagat only because he was fabulously wealthy but she would give him a makeover so he would be smarter than UV and therefore be able to break UV's ego, since Jagat would've both wealth and social presence (with her aid) as compared to UV's personal charm.

When she was getting engaged to UV, she told her mother that she was happy with the alliance because she knew that she would make a good Queen. Komal asked her what about personal happiness, and she said that she was not concerned about personal happiness or marital bliss as long as she was getting the status she desired. Her pursuit of UV is only a means to satisfy her ego, so far as I can see.

While on the other hand, UV is getting more and more emotionally involved with M. The way he reacts to M, the way he cared for her when she fainted etc. are all proofs of his love for her. M might not be in love with UV at the moment, but she has embarked on her emotional journey. Akaash has opened her eyes to that possibility. Moreover M brings out the soft side in UV, and he needs that foil, if he has to be a good leader. He needs to understand emotions and care for others. So far only M has been able to bring out the emotional side in him. If UV has to be paired with someone from the serial then I would prefer it was M.

Why I'm not in favor of a Monash pairing is simple- Akaash doesn't have it in him to be a match for M. M has got fire in her, a streak of stubbornness and innate cunning that she knows would work with people. She has got the ability to understand how people work and operate and she is not above using their weaknesses to her advantage. She appeals to Komal at an emotional level, she appeals to DS asking for justice, when she speaks to Brij she talks about his image. These are inborn traits of a politician. By pairing with Akaash she would lose her touch with these qualities. By pairing with UV she would be able to hone these qualities and use them to benefit a lot of people.

J has the royal upbringing, but she lacks this street-smartness. What J has, M can acquire with external help, but what M has, J can never acquire.

On the whole when UV and M come together they would help each other grow as better human beings and rise above what they are at present. A UV and J pairing or a Monash pairing would be a waste of two bright individuals with potential.

Hope you don't take it seriously or anything..just want to know your opinion...

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akshaayagohem123lostmymusic.

gohem123 IF-Dazzler
gohem123
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Joined: 05 September 2011
Posts: 3681

Posted: 10 February 2012 at 12:39am | IP Logged
Originally posted by khushna

its not love...simple answer ...she is immature and childish..just because he was sweet to her and her chawl friends made some salman khan image of his deosnt make it love..infact it dosen't even appeal to us.the way they tlk laugh n behave being in a relation..now when she will face the world and get some brain she will have to understand that she was wrong..akaash accepted her as MONIYA..but udaY accepted her as MONIA and will love her as Manyaata ALSO

That was a nice reply...Thank you...and i like the bold part really well...I too think moniya started loving akash in a hurry without thinking ...And keeping fingers crossed for her not to do the same mistake with uday but get to know him, become friends first and then fall in love..

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xpakigirlx

gohem123 IF-Dazzler
gohem123
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Joined: 05 September 2011
Posts: 3681

Posted: 10 February 2012 at 1:11am | IP Logged
Originally posted by dreamyjennice

def..if you have read my post plz reread it...love doesnt see riches...caste ..creed...status...muniya wanted sandal...and akash gave him...i am talking of depth of their love and maturity...did she once realise...wat imp his salary has to his family and house...do u straight away take such an expensive gift from a guy whom you have met just for few hours back...she couldnt stop herself...she should have refused...but she didnt...she shd have told him to be practical...house doesnt run by itself...even best of friends...my pov...dont give so expensive gifts...even if they have been friends for few years...neither would i take...remind you they were not yet lovers or even bf and gf...as for scenarious...ema's..do happen...love after marrige ...well many examples...love between young and old...many examples...but love sustains where you flow along with reality...u think about your steps and decisions...u dont crib and cry everytime...u try to find solutions..a way out to be together without making a fool of anyone...love doesnt come without pain dear...and instead of howling...throwing tantrums..acting selfishly...u care ...think..safegaurd each other...money...its an essential part...though not the most imp...it takes backseat...but it def..travels..along...making a public show of love...thats not love..thats spotlight..fame...my pov...love makes ..one...or destroys one...or can do both...no def of love...shout i love you  doesnt count ...but sitting near your lover holding hands and just waking to see ur partner smile...without as much promoting is love...hating someone ...yet standing by and accepting the person as they r ..without changing them but helping them adapt to the new environment is love for me...Smile...theres a song by celiene dion...i want to be your eyes wen you cant see...i want to be your lips wen you cant speak...wanna be your voice...when u cant talk...wanna be with you and complete you...thats wat is love for me...


That was so emotional and touching post my dear ..All points marked in black taken...I was reading everyone's  replies and i think you all are thinking too much..Its just a serial, no need to take it emotionally...but as i root for Uday and not ManVeer,  i thought off replying to this post even if it isn't for me. You yourself state that love doesn't look at money and its unconditional yet why Uday want Manyat to be like princess?why he tried to make her hold fork and keep on prompting her to go with parties and functions which he attends..After moniya gone, J stole the show but i am looking at Uday..He says he loves manayata yet he wants to change her..Now may be he is slowly started realizing that he loves her but  he is not doing anything for her..He is looking for only his happiness..Why did he made the press statement against akash?
For me love is unconditional..It doesn't involve compromise and changes like you said..yet  everyone is asking manyata to compromise herself and adjust to the surroundings..I agree she is a princess and she must lead a life like that but she had already shown her capability as one when she stood up for maalikaka. DS herself taken her love for akash as granted and ask her to change if she want his freedom from jail..Is that how grandparents or parents teach us? Its like if you got good marks for exam i will give you laptop and children study for continuously without attaining any knowledge just for the sake of getting gifts..
here moniya is also doing that ..She wants akash to set free and poor girl is doing everything she could to hold out her promise.i think is injustice to use someone to get your work done..i don't see any love involved here..May be am not looking at things like you look but what DS and others trying to Manyata is simply not love..and i don't have any reason to justify their action..
I hope Uday to understand his feelings for her in a true way and hear unnati's words...Love will not come by hurting someone but you have to sacrifice so much..and i can see only moniya doing this now...just my pov..

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dreamyjennice

NightStarr Senior Member
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Joined: 31 January 2012
Posts: 433

Posted: 10 February 2012 at 2:28pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Chitrashi



When she was getting engaged to UV, she told her mother that she was happy with the alliance because she knew that she would make a good Queen. Komal asked her what about personal happiness, and she said that she was not concerned about personal happiness or marital bliss as long as she was getting the status she desired. Her pursuit of UV is only a means to satisfy her ego, so far as I can see.



Definitely agree with you! Overall as a character I don't like Jay but I do feel bad for her because I think she truly lacks in self esteem because she has always seen herself as No 2 in front of everyone that is close to her beside those two annoying friends of hers.  I feel like she has zero self respect and that is  due to lack of self-esteem that she suffers from. Even though she acts like she is confident and all I think she has a very low self-esteem because of always being considered second and that shows best when she is with Uday because she way past beyond the point of desperation when it comes to him- she just throws herself at him regardless of what he says Ouch. One thing though I think she feels like if she gets Uday she will win from M for once because Uday has always been considered M's in the inside and outside world because of their roka and in a way I think Jay thought she would get UV because she thought they would never find M. She almost idealizes UV to the point that while she points of his flaws but she doesn't think they are flaws. Sadly though I think she should just focus on getting her mother and family's love instead of trying to get UV because now that he seems to be falling in love with M he will never be hers.

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