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FF Destiny's play -Officially now Suvika's - Page 6

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Shari30 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
Originally posted by: apurvafan

good going.. Will read slowly and update my comment



Thanks so much ๐Ÿ˜Šlooking forward for your comments
Shari30 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
Originally posted by: sharmishtha02

Ditto to Mimoha about your story telling Sharifa. At the end of it, I feel soo emotional. And no! It isn't only because of you writing it for me. But more so because of the actual story...


Waiting eagerly for the kash-ma-kash (can't find a perfect English substitute for this word ๐Ÿ˜›) to come.



Thank you Mentorji...you are a โญ๏ธ
Shari30 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
 you
Originally posted by: Mimoha

Hi Shari. The post was definitely worth the wait. As a writer, you are cut from the same cloth as Sharmishtha. As a storyteller, I can see you working on two levels - surface and sub text. Love the way the story is evolving on the surface but I would say that the true narrative of this chapter is in the sub text. The dialogues are few 6 or 7 perhaps, but the underlying subtext is so beautiful, engaging and rich. You have superbly worded the conflicting emotions and real motivations of all the three characters. Good going. I am really looking forward to the next chapter.





awww Mimoha if you were infront of me i would๐Ÿค— you thanks for putting me at par with my mentor that's the highest praise i could get.  you have it  right I love trying to go through the minds of the characters for me Ashu is a flawed character and that's what makes his charm and Rangnath is sooo underused.

hope to raise up to  your expectation in the next part๐Ÿ˜Š
shari
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Posted: 12 years ago
Originally posted by: kritash

hai dear, liked this update, great.
well written , the emotions are high at this point of time and it is reflecting.
Ashu: difficult to hold back, but don't want to proceed further.
Nidhi:confused and more on hurted.
would like to see how u want to proceed further and narrate the fic.
waiting for the next update.
I know it is easy to write, that we r waiting here for the next update but dil se majboor hain.
thanks




awww bless you for being such a supportive reader 
Shari30 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
Originally posted by: vasanthi16

Good...progressing logically...pls update soon...



Thanks dear
Shari30 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago

Hi lovely readers,

since i decided to rebel against marking copybooks today there you go a mid week treat for you all. This one especially for Mimoha and all the regular readers๐Ÿ˜‰

Enjoy ๐Ÿ˜Š

Shari


Part 7

'She had decided to stay' that was the only thing in his mind as he finally stepped in the sanctuary that was his office. The one woman whom he had been having so many conflicting feelings about was back in his life. Yet this time why was he feel at peace that she had accepted to stay at KGH? Was not it playing with fire?

 

Two years ago they had parted on what he would term as being mutual agreement; he had hoped to find some peace in the fact that by giving her freedom she would have had a better life free from someone of his age. Age... the reason of all the problems and taboos. He would never forget that night at her house when it was as if hell had broken loose. They had returned back after their first Valentine"s day. That thought brought a sad smile; each and every moment of that day and what unfolded would forever be etched in his mind, her disappointment when he had at first refused to celebrate and how he had wanted to change things just for her, her each and every reactions had been imprinted in his mind.

 

Then back at her home, when Mandira made her entry that was it... the beginning of the end. He had had an insight into what would be awaiting him and Nidhi had they come out clean about their relationship. They had nothing to hide yet it was then only then that he realised what this would mean to her. He had always loved and lost but for her it was different, she had always lived a protected life surrounded by love.  There was no way he would let her go through that same path of pain that he had seen Mandira go through in the house. He was the elder of the two it was up to him to take the right decision. To him it was clear they had to part ways, no matter how much it cost him that was the right decision, he had survived loss before and would again this time. He would hurt her, but she would have her family to fall back on, their love would make her heal, and knowing that was enough for him.

 

"That was the past" he thought, just as he had been living taking strength from the souvenirs of their time together, may be this time destiny was giving him the chance of creating new memories, he was happy that from afar though  he would be seeing her. Drawing some comfort from these thoughts he settled down to do some work.

 

In the common room, Nidhi was trying to gather her thoughts, "Why did I agree?" she asked herself for the umpteenth time. She had promised herself that she would never come back here, not to hurt him any more by her presence. Everyone from anji to Baba, Shyama Aunty and Ashutosh himself had convinced her that their relationship was one that was not meant to be ultimately she had allowed the mind to win at the cost of her feelings. To her Ashutosh was and would always be the one for her.

 

She had quelled down her feelings back then for the sake of her family, she alone knew how lonely a journey it had been, to the world she was the same Nidhi but those who really knew her had noted the change. She had reached a point where she no longer cared and thankfully even baba and dadi bua had stopped nagging her about getting married. She had one lifeline, the one thing that still linked her to him, her career and that very career had now brought them together.

Still lost in her thoughts she had not heard the door open, "Dr Nidhi... Dr Nidhi..." called out a rather alarmed voice. It was one of the young nurses from Children's ward. Pushing her turbulent thoughts at the back of her mind she answered in what she hoped to be a controlled voice, "Yes Nurse, Is there a problem?"

 

"Can you please check patient 12 please? I gave her medicine and still she is not sleeping, it is past midnight", she answered.

 

Patient 12, little Mishty a little girl of 6 she had taken special interest to. She was one of those patients many would qualify as difficult, yet the two of them had clicked. The staff having noted their easy rapport preferred to call her when Mishty refused her meds or injection. Making her way to the ward she decided that some time with her protge was what she needed to change her mind from all that had happened today.

 

Silently, she made her way to her bed, sitting on the chair, she gently held the little girl's hand and softly murmured "Mish, what is it sweetheart, why are you not sleeping?"

 

"I am not sleepy, I feel alone" came the reply. "But how can you be alone, you are surrounded by children"

 

"It is different here, I miss my mum, back home when I cannot sleep, she would always tell me a story" was the reply.

 

Nidhi had known that probably was the real reason that was why she had sympathised with her, Mishty had been admitted here but her family could not come every day, at first the staff had sympathised with her but due to her attention seeking antics they could no longer handle her and limited themselves to delivering medical treatment.

 

"Okay , I will tell you a story and after that you have to sleep, deal!" Nidhi said playfully.

 

"Okay deal" came the immediate reply.

 

Nidhi moved nearer to the little girl and started her story. "Once in far away land there was a king who was lonely, he stayed in his palace and limited contact with the outside world. With time people started to fear him and they stayed away from his palace."

 

"But what happened afterwards" asked the little voice.

 

"He remained alone in his palace till one day a butterfly came knocking at his door, he tried to shoo it away, but the butterfly was a stubborn little thing and came back. The king got angry and told her to go away, "Go away butterfly you are not welcomed here, why cannot you leave me alone like my subjects do?". The butterfly was not one to give up easily, after hearing the King she realised that behind the king was someone who was hurting. This realisation made her more determined to get him out from his prison. Bit by bit the king started to warm up to her and soon he no longer minded the butterfly coming"

 

"Then what happened Did they become friends"

 

"Well after that things started to get  ... you could even say they had become friends, and as time went on the butterfly learnt the reason of the king's sadness. Since the butterfly believed that good things happened to good people she thought she would help him out, at first they had started to enjoy each other's presence but..."

 

She was engrossed in her story and thus had not realised that someone else had entered the room. Ashutosh had decided to go on a final round before going home. His final stop had been the children's ward and once again his attention had been drawn to that voice, that voice that had haunted him for the past two years, hearing that story again revived the old hurt.

 

As he was about to leave, he dropped his phone on the floor and as he turned to see whether they had noted his presence, he saw that she was tucking the sleeping child and met with those penetrating eyes staring at him and he knew the moment he was longing for, yet running away from, was going to happen, he would have to face her, this time there would be no Dr Rangnath, no patient nothing to divert...

Edited by oaz30 - 12 years ago
Shari30 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
๐Ÿ˜›
Edited by oaz30 - 12 years ago
LizzieBennet thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago
Shari...had read this FF before, but only commenting now/.. good flow and extremely good vocalizing of thoughts. You decided to write about their separation following the current track..WOW! Very interesting read. Can't wait for chapter 8. 
Shari30 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
Originally posted by: LizzieBennett

Shari...had read this FF before, but only commenting now/.. good flow and extremely good vocalizing of thoughts. You decided to write about their separation following the current track..WOW! Very interesting read. Can't wait for chapter 8. 



hi lizzy... hehe now we meet on my FF... lol that part was outcome of me not wanting to mark any scripts today...thanks for the lovely comments ๐Ÿ˜‰
sharmishtha02 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
Are O Duniya waalon. Batao ye na-insaafi hai ya nahin. When I call her mean for leaving it at such a cliff-hanger, she turns the tables on me saying it is my effect. ๐Ÿ˜† Not done Sharifa. Continue quickly.

Very emotional once again. You can see the conflict, yet a hope of happiness, somewhere deep down in their hearts, which they do not want to acknowledge. But its there... May be just in our hearts ๐Ÿ˜ƒ

๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ ๐Ÿ‘