Ardhangini Abhay-Phulwa ShortStory updtd part2 pg2

MysticAura Goldie

Joined: 17 May 2009
Posts: 1116

Posted: 31 January 2012 at 1:22am | IP Logged
The hand that held guns now rules the Household...
a short series

Its 2 months since Abhay & Phulwa assasinated Thakur.Thakurain has regained her voice.Bua and Sharbati have fleed to their native.Kulbhushan is languishing in jail on charges of kidnapping Phulwa and murderingLaxmiji.Dadi,Gauri,Thakurain,
Abhay and Phulwa now dwell in a small house far away from the Haveli which had become an abattoir of human emotions and feelings.Phulwa has forgiven Abhay for his deception as Shatru.They have confessed their love for each other.But yet something is wrong..Amidst all this entire showdown..Abhay's undying blind faith and love for his Baba had already suffered a massive blow.He couldnt believe his eyes were veiled of Thakurs atrocities.His Baba of whom he had a godly image turned out to be a wolf in sheeps skin.This traumatic experience has left a ghastly impression on Abhays psyche and his feelings of love.How Phulwa manages to retrieve her Abhay from the clutches of this terrible nightmare and restore his faith in love is basically the essence of this series.The series intends to take Phulwas character to a new phase as she slowly transitions from a fearless Dacoit to a lovable and adarshwadi ardhangini...

In hindu scriptures,its said that a wife should fulfil the following duties(I dont intend to be an anti-feminist saying these lines...but my only intention is to envisage how our 'dabangg dacoit rani' transforms into an ideal nuturing wife.Jis hath mein ek zamaane mein bandook hua karta tha ab voh hi haath ek belan ko kaise sambhalega...this is the story... Smile
Karyeshu dasi;(hardworking)
Karaneshu mantri;(Advises like a minister)
rupecha lakshmi;( is as beautiful as Lakshmi)
bhojyeshu mata;(Feeds like a mother..caring), 
sayaneshu rambha;(makes love like a nymph),
kshamaya dharitri;(and forgiving like the earth.) 
shat dharmayukta kuladharmapatni(These six are the dharmas for a good wife )
ps:i intend to make this story a weekly affair..due to time constraints.its basically 
conceptualised to be a 6 part series where each of the above duty will be fulfilled by our Phulwa...honest opinions are expected...Unfortunately..i will pen down the subsequent part judging the responses:(It makes no meaning if i go on writing and there are no responses :( enlighten me with your views regarding the 
same...comments,brickbats are welcomeSmile

Part1: Karyeshu Dasi page 1
Part2: Karneshu mantri page 2

Edited by MysticAura - 21 February 2012 at 9:25am

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Allbut1 IF-Rockerz

Joined: 21 April 2008
Posts: 5065

Posted: 31 January 2012 at 1:34am | IP Logged
Oh wow the idea sounds absolutely WONDERFUL! It's such an exciting prospect to see how their relationship truly evolves once the Thakur has officially been exposed, and I love how you're tackling the whole Abhay being in depression mode, because really that is going to happen, the guilt and shock will be enough to kill him, and it will be Phulwa who will have to bring him back! Can't wait for your update, hopefully we get to see it soon :)

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pratzsonu Groupbie

Joined: 14 January 2012
Posts: 103

Posted: 31 January 2012 at 9:48am | IP Logged
Waiting to watch phulwa and abhay 2gthr wid love , care n fun

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ann29 Groupbie

Joined: 17 January 2012
Posts: 88

Posted: 01 February 2012 at 1:25pm | IP Logged
please start your series.we are waiting.

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1DUDEDESI Groupbie

Joined: 14 December 2011
Posts: 152

Posted: 01 February 2012 at 2:50pm | IP Logged
this is really good please carry on writing

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MysticAura Goldie

Joined: 17 May 2009
Posts: 1116

Posted: 03 February 2012 at 1:30pm | IP Logged
                                       I I       KARYESHU DASI    I I

'Maa,kal mujhe bohot savere nikalna hai.Ek bohot hi mushkil case ki zimmedari di gayi hai.Case mein koi breakthrough nahi mil raha.Isliye kal usi silsile mein Jainagar jana hai.'quipped Abhay at the dinner table.'Abhay,aap zaroor kaamyab honge.Case aasan ho ya mushkil ACP Abhay Thakur ke saamne toh ghutne tek deti hai.'pat came Phulwa's reply.The serene and peaceful scene at the dinner table now turned into an animated picture.Dadi and Gauri couldnt stop their 'ahem ahems',Thakurain couldnt stop chuckling and Abhays face had turned crimson.Phulwa realised she spoke a little too more 'voh mein toh...'.'Haan haan jiji hum samajh gaye ki aapke ACP sahab toh dabanng hai.'Phulwa couldnt stop blushing.Yes her Abhay was Dabanng...The way he solved cases,his personality,his calm and cold demeanour could scare any criminal into telling truth..He could...'Kahan kho gayi jiji,Abhay jiju ke khayalon mein...?'and there went the teasing brigade again...'voh mein...mera khana ho gaya.aur voh..mein...kuch kaam yaad aaya' and Abhay made a hush exit from the scene.

The past two months had brought new dimensions in Abhay-Phulwas life.There was understanding,maturity and lots of love in their relation.The marital bond strengthened with each passing day.Yet...something was missing.Abhay was badly shaken after knowing of his Babas wrong doings.His trust,faith had all come crashing down.He now began immersing himself in his work.Afraid to remember the terrible nightmares he lived throughout his life,he found solace in his work.He loved Phulwa deeply but he was her gunhegaar too.She trusted and loved him as Shatru and what did he do?Humiliated her and her love for him.He was truly 'abhaagi'...'Aap andhere mein kyun baithe hai.'this broke Abhays chain of thoughts as he looked at the door to see Phulwa who had just entered.For some reason she seemed to look too pretty today.Her hair tucked on one side hid her shoulder.Her face glowed and she looked sexy in that see-through sari...Wait a minute. did he just think sexy...?And he realised he was shamelessly staring at his wife for a nice 5 minutes.Phulwa on the other hand couldnt stop blushing at her husbands gesture as his eyes travelled down her..'Haan so jaata hoon..kal jaldi jaana hai..'as he realised they were rather caught in an awkward situation,he took his pillow and his blanket and went to sleep on the sofa.'Goodnight Phulwa'...'Goodnight Abhay'.as she lied comfortably on the bed..their eyes met and she mentally reassured him that she will be there for him.always...till Eternity...

'Chal Phulwa bohot kaam karna hai...'she got up after making sure Abhay fell asleep.She left the room leaving behind her sleeping husband.She went to the kitchen and started making the dough for paratha.'Arre beta...tum ab is vakt kya kar rahi ho rasoi ghar mein...'?a puzzled Dadi asked.The clock had already ticked 11 pm. and it was time for the Thakur household to wind up their daily chores and enter into a peaceful slumber.'Voh Dadima,.Abhay kal bohot jaldi nikal rahe hain.Pata nahi vahaan khaane ko milega bhi kya nahi.Kaam karenge  poora din voh.Isliye meine socha ki unke liye parathe banaun.Parathe banake unhe ye thermos tiffin mein rakh doongi.'...Smiling Dadi then said 'Phulwa..Abhayne jo pyaar bachpan mein khoya usse kai jyada pyaar use abhi tum de rahi ho.Tumne har kadam pe uska saath diya..Ek adarshwadi patni  bankar tum apna patnidharm nibha rahi ho.humaare puran mein likha hai...'
Karyeshu dasi
,karneshu mantri,
bhojeshu mata' kuch kartavya hai ek dharmpatni ke.Aur tum use ache se nibha rahi ho'.Phulwa smiled and said 'Hum ye sab karte hain kyunki  Abhay ko chahte hain.Unke sukh dukh ke bhaagidaar hai hum.Dadima,aap ab so jayiea.Raat ho gayi hai aur Aapki tabiyat bhi theek nahi hai.Hum bhi kaam khatm karke so jayenge.''Theek hai.'said Dadi and left.Phulwa made the parathas,put them in thermos tiffin and went to their bedroom.'Kal subah uthkar inhe fir se garm kar denge'..

A lot had visibly changed.The 'once upon a time dreaded emotionless dacoit' had now started rolling parathas for her husband.For the same husband who was once her most trusted gangmember,to her lover,to the traitor of her feelings and now her husband in true sense.Maybe it was a part of Gods conspiracy that time and again they met.Maybe they were destined to be together.Maybe it was written.Maybe Abhay was Phulwas true saviour after Shankar...Shankar was the person she respected but Abhay was the person she gave heart and soul to..She was robbed off her innocence at a very young age..people revered her and even liked her...but no one understood her better than Abhay..It was the common feeling of pain and suffering that brought them together and they didnt know when  they fell in love...Its been just over an year since she knew him..yet something in her told she knew him since lifetimes..Merely thinking of Abhay brought a range of emotions in,friendship,trust,respect and surprisingly even desire.She had a last look at her husbands face before sleeping.It 
gave her the sense of belonging...She belonged with Abhay..

4 am...Duty called Abhay and he got up to get ready.He smiled looking at his wifes sleeping form.She looked too mesmerising..Offlate he started having strange feelings for her which he brushed aside as 'weird 'feelings..He wanted her...Though she was his...But yet he wanted to make her 'his wife' in true sense.He controlled his urges to come close to her...because he was scared...scared that she might stop trusting him again.Though they had confessed their love and every action of theirs proclaimed their love for the other...he didnt want this 'weird feeling' to overcome the care and respect they had for each other.Quickly he got ready and was just about to leave the house  when he saw the thermos on the table.He came to know that it was Phulwa's doing.A smile crept on his lips.Nobody did that to him before..None cared for him the way Phulwa cared...Too overwhelmed with emotions he went back to his bedroom and looked at Phulwa.He sat on the bed where she was sleeping .Finally giving in to his urges he gave her a light peck on her cheek afraid not to wake her up.He looked at her and sighed.'What are you?a sorceress??...who can transform all my pain to love..or an angel who cares for me deeply..I love you..Phulwa..bohot pyaar karte hain encourage me to move ahead in life.I promise you,wont let even a drop of tear to fall from your eyes'.

As the lovebirds silently proclaimed their love for each other...their course of life had changed..for the good...Phulwa who had lost all her loved ones found Abhay and began her new life as a caring and loving'ardhangini'.And Abhay completed her..a new journey had already begun...their paths had converged...

Updated the series...Your comments are very valuable...Liked it? didnt like it?...please comment...Shows my work is appreciated...Smile

Edited by MysticAura - 03 February 2012 at 1:39pm

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vita93 Goldie

Joined: 13 December 2011
Posts: 2169

Posted: 03 February 2012 at 1:41pm | IP Logged
Comments reserved - loved it!:D

Edit ---- Wow that was truly an awesome read!Clap

The start was really cute, the way she was being teased by dadi and Thakurayn is probably something we can look forward to once these two start falling in love.
I think you captured the essence of her duty as his wife well, how she puts him first and cares for him. Following this Thakur reveal she would have to be his greatest support and show him she stands with him every step of the way.

The way you described her feelings were really beautiful. Truly, they've suffered much more than anyone could imagine and they're the only ones who could understand one another's pain.

.For the same husband who was once her most trusted gangmember,to her lover,to the traitor of her feelings and now her husband in true sense.

The way his role in her life has changed is a significant part of her and I loved the way you portrayed it:)

Finally, I really liked how Abhay returned to her side just before leaving, and his promise to keep her safe and happy no matter what may come.

Looking forward to the next part!:D

Edited by vita93 - 04 February 2012 at 12:55am

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mimi_s IF-Dazzler

Joined: 17 January 2012
Posts: 4028

Posted: 03 February 2012 at 2:05pm | IP Logged
Excellent work I dont have words to express how I am feeling nw...well doneClapClap I could literally see Ajay and Shargu enact those very well written ...I guess I am repeating my self bt then nt everyone is as good as u TongueTongue...Pls dont make this a weekly thing...I mean fr every aspect of being a wife PLs dont give us jst one write up ...I mean write as many as u want because u r just too good SmileSmile
Looking forward to lots of lovely write ups from u Smile..once again grt work and keep writing...we r all waiting eagerly to hear from uSmile soon

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