Do mythological shows undermine a father's love?

Hey Guys,

Edited by JanakiRaghunath - 14 January 2012 at 7:16pm

Well I would have to say yes and no.

In the mythos, the mother is portrayed as a loving and sometimes overly possesive character who is willing to do anything for her child, to even cross all the limits of prudency. Take Gandhari for example. She cursed Shri Krishna, the Supreme Personality of Godhead himself, after witnessing the death of her sons. The father on the other hand, loves his children very much, but is more prudent and conscious of his duty.

In both SK and JSK, they showed Devaki and Yashoda to be more affected by the thought of losing Krishna than Vasudev or Nand. It was Vasudev who would hand over the children to Kans while Devaki would weep. And even during the Dwarka scenes, it was Devaki who had begged to have her lost children back. That doesn't mean that Nand or Vasudev didn't love Krishna. Of course they loved him! He is called Nandlaal, the darling son of Nand. It's just that Devaki and Yashoda were more overcome by "moha" the emotional aspect of love.

But I agree with you. It was incorrect to undermine Shri Vishnu, the jagatpita, like that. One cannot say that he is unattached to his bhakts, his children. He is, after all, Deenanath and Bhaktvatsal.



Edited by AishuJSKfan - 14 January 2012 at 10:32pm

Very very nice thread Chelli.

Edited by ShivangBuch - 17 January 2012 at 5:13am

For me both mother and father hold equal importance in life

mother and father are definitely equal !! well, i don't know too many mytho shows since i have only seen old and new ramayan, but showing mother as greater than father is definitely wrong! both love child equally and both also feel equal pain when the child is in danger !! i just think mothers show more emotion and fathers hide their emotion, but that doesn't make mothers greater.

I second Shivang bhaiya's post - it's just representative of the "male" and "female" qualities that our scriptures tell us are within each individual. In fact, most of the shows do a very good job of clarifying that they're not trying to say ALL mothers are one way and ALL fathers are another.

For example, there's the scene right in the beginning of RSR that shows Kaikeyi telling Dashrath just that after the four princes head off to Gurukul, that as a father, he can't fathom the pain and anxiety she was experiencing in the absence of her sons. That affects Dashrath deeply and he goes to Kaushalya to ascertain whether or not Kaikeyi was right, whether he was being as dry and uncaring as she suggested and has no idea about a mother's love. Kaushalya says of course that isn't true; it's natural for Kaikeyi to feel emotional just as it is for him to want to push his sons towards the right goals and see them succeed - even if it means suppressing his own emotions so that he can handle the process - such is the greatness of a father's love. On a superficial level it may seem as if she is confirming the stereotype, but the fact that SHE is saying it proves that there is that sort of understanding in her as well. And the fact that the scene ends in Dashrath asking her to give him some of her strength and understanding because he is restless without his son tells us that HE too has some those qualities attributed to motherhood.

Later, in Ayodhya Kand, we see Dashrath further demonstrating that empathy and protectiveness, while Sumitra is the epitome of those attributes of fatherly love - emotional stability, understanding, and a goal-oriented outlook in that she saw this as an opportunity for her sons to be of service and prove their worth rather than a time of distress for them. During Bharat Milaap, she asks Sita if Lakshman has been serving them well enough, and when Sita praises him, what she says is to the effect of "now I can hold my head up high". That's not a lack of love compared to Kaushalya's worry for Ram; it's just a different form of love. Another Ayodhya Kand example is Vashisht's eulogy of Dashrath after he passes away - he says "the world has always sung the greatness of motherly love; now, you have set an example because of which a father's love, too, will be glorified for all eternity".

SK gives plenty of moments in which a father is shown expressing the sort of worry or affection otherwise attributed to mothers. When VD have to give up Kirtimaan and she accuses him of not being able to understand what it would do to her, he says that "if you think that this isn't breaking me apart too, you are gravely mistaken", indicating that whether or not he's expressing it the same way, the love is there. When Nand Baba reminisces over the cherished moments with Krishna while returning to Gokul after Kans Vadh, the song we hear and the behavior we see is full of the characteristics of associated with motherly love.

While there are some dialogs that do specifically honor a mother's love (e.g. Garg-Devaki before Krishna's naming ceremony, Vashisht-Kaushalya-Kaikeyi-Sumitra after the boys return from Gurukul), they are a reflection of cultural conceptions. It's a societal thing. Thus, they are not particular to just mythos. The tragic anthem of patriotism from the '80s movie Naam that I often quote on sigs, "Chitthi aayi hai", has the line "main to baap hoon; mera kya hai? teri maa ka haal bura hai." The song is set up as a letter from a father to a son who has left his whole family back in India to go earn money abroad, and the father is telling him how that has devastated everyone; the line I quoted means, "I'm just your dad, (don't worry about me) - your mom is the one who's really in a bad shape."  One of my favorite contemporary films, Wake up Sid, shows a father and son who don't talk to each other or see each other for a while because of a fight, but the mom can't control herself due to love for her son and secretly goes to check up on him and send him his favorite fruit when he isn't home. Not even just Indian stuff - watch any episode of Law and Order that focuses on child abuse or neglect, and they'll always suspect the father before the mother... and if the mother ever becomes a suspect, someone on the unit wil,l without fail, say something like "why would a mother ever do that to her child?" as if a father doing it is so much more plausible. So, yeah, what you've observed and not approved of is not a peculiarity or injustice on part of mytho shows but a long-standing social construct that they once in a while just happen to incorporate.