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SunShower - The Faux Rain (Novella) (Page 6)

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marauder

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marauder

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Posted: 16 June 2012 at 1:45pm | IP Logged
Now a days i'm watching a show called Smallville usme ek dialogue aaya tha - There are two type of girls : the one you grow out of , the one you grow into. Well the dialogue was for a girl but its applicable for anyone out there irrespective of gender. Alizey is no different from rest of us. We all have our fair share of sillyness and jerkiness while growing up. Its later after we grow up we realize how silly and immature we were that time.
Loved this chapter a lot more than the previous one. Because as i had told last one was too chick flick for me. But this one was as real as it can get. Loved the honesty and sincerty with which you have compiled this chapter . Waiting for the next update.

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Rafz

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Posted: 16 June 2012 at 1:59pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by rachita_1994

Rafi Di: Bow down to u! Why dint I know about this before!!!!! Pleasee PM me whenever u decide to post the next part!!!! This is freaking awesome!!!!!!!

Thank you SOOO much Rachita ... I am happpy u like my story Embarrassed Will PM u :)

Originally posted by marauder

Now a days i'm watching a show called Smallville usme ek dialogue aaya tha - There are two type of girls : the one you grow out of , the one you grow into. Well the dialogue was for a girl but its applicable for anyone out there irrespective of gender. Alizey is no different from rest of us. We all have our fair share of sillyness and jerkiness while growing up. Its later after we grow up we realize how silly and immature we were that time. 
Loved this chapter a lot more than the previous one. Because as i had told last one was too chick flick for me. But this one was as real as it can get. Loved the honesty and sincerty with which you have compiled this chapter . Waiting for the next update.

First chapter was mostly intro .. not much dialogue ... but I guess that had to be done to establish the premises .. I am glad u like chapter 2 better Embarrassed. I know Alizey was a MEGA-jerk ... mebbe that is why I had decided to pen this story down .. to describe her metamorphosis .. Sure, she didnt become a good person but she did become a better person .. because of all the people around her .. and yeah .. to show her as a BETTER person .. u need to show her at a  lower meter mark of Morality to begin with .. Glad u all are appreciating the Honesty Embarrassed


Edited by SwaRon911 - 16 June 2012 at 1:59pm

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Posted: 17 June 2012 at 6:44am | IP Logged
The authors note, Lolz. It seems directed right at me, until i figured there were more Keralaites reading this. Lol

the update was awesome. Alizey seems like a really interesting girl. I like her.!! The whole accent part was rightly put.! Seriously it's a pain to here people murdering a proper accent. And I live in Kerala, so you can only imagine how much I have to go through it. I thank the good lords that my patents were not born and brought up in Kerala, else I would have had the same accent. Though now-a-days it's improving. :)

Oh well, the whole note-passing part was really very realistic, story of every class. :P

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NinaArief

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Posted: 17 June 2012 at 6:56am | IP Logged
its marvellously  penned down,

and the reason it touches all of us is because it something we all have gone through - whatever kind of students we have been. and the passing and hiding chits to talk during a class is so girly, also the very teachers we grew up tormenting, hating and ridiculing became our fav mentors as we matured..

my reaction after i read ti the first time - wow this kids got talent.
my reaction after i read it the second time -  true story!!!

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LadyStark

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Posted: 17 June 2012 at 8:52am | IP Logged
I am in love with Alizey and her firends...the whole chit chat conversation was amazing ! Kya dissection kiya hai naam kaa ! Amazing update Rafi di..

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Posted: 18 June 2012 at 1:09pm | IP Logged

Gee you guys !!! Thank you SO very much for the lovely comments .. they really mean a LOT !! 

 

CHAPTER 3 - Catfights and DDT

 

"Oooh ! Is it just me or is his hair actually like Vivek Oberoi's in Saathiya ?"

 

That would be Ditzy Desi 1 - Asra. Avid Bollywood buff. No wait. "Buff" wouldn't do justice to her knowledge/interest/expertise. She was an effin' connoisseur ! . I bet an arm and a half she knows Shahrukh Khan's family tree better than her own ! Not that anybody could memorize their own family tree if they came from the kind of family she comes from, where everyone is married to a first cousin and has enough kids to have their own Australian football team. YES, Australian football, 18 players to each side and four more waiting on the side lines waiting for the ones inside the arena to beat the living daylights out of each other so that they can substitute for them.

 

"Oh-em-geee!!! I think so too !"

That's Ditzy desi no. 2 ' Farzana (the tall one, not the frizzy one) for you. She'd agree with you if you told her Sylvester Stallone taught grade school Math and Volkswagen Beetle was a type of mango-infesting bug.

 

"Now that you mention, he is even trying to walk like him. Not that he can ever pull off a Vivek Oberoi but Azaan's been like that ever since I mentioned how cute Vivek looked in Saathiya " 

Zara flicked her bangs with a poorly-veiled look of satisfaction plastered all over her face. Yup, you guessed right. Ditzy Desi 3 !

 

"Oh-em-geee !!! I think he's sooo into you !!!"

 

"How intelligent of you Farzana !" 

Ali groaned. The whole school knew Azaan was into Zaraa and if rumour-mills had it right, was planning to ask her out on Annual day Fete. Possibly during the song dedication. That would be just like him. Filmy and unoriginal.

 

"You think ? Not that I'd ever go out with him !" 

If Zaara's smile got any wider, she'd need stitches all the way from her left ear to her right.

 

Oh you filthy liar! You look like you'd jump him every time he walks round the corridor. Not go out with him MY ASS.

Alizey snorted.

 

"But Come on ! Why not ? He is cute and a straight A student and I heard him tell Kalinga the other day that You were the prettiest girl in Senior 2!"

 

Oh and did I mention Asra LOVED matchmaking ? If unwarranted matchmaking was a crime, Asra would be sentenced to Lifetime in Gitmo.

 

It was lunch-break and as usual the Ditzy-Desi-Trio were at the window checking guys out. Ali was having her solitary lunch and not that she could be bothered with stupid boy-talk but she was too close to hearing distance and a little free entertainment at their expense was always welcome. 

 

"He is is such a player and I don't have time for this. We have term exams coming up. "

 Zara said with a finality in her voice that clearly meant that it was the end of the discussion. Unlike her two cronies, she noticed Ali looking at them intently and smirking, clearly enjoying the exchange.

 

"At least the girl had her priorities right".

Ali grudgingly thought. Actually come to think of it, if Zara wasn't such a good student, their average GPA would be bordering at 1.5. Mebbe she wasn't just full of hot air after all '

 

"Anyways, we don't wanna be late for the after-break assembly. Let's go girls, or Ma'am Priya will write us up for detention. As for certain other people, I guess it doesn't matter considering they spend more time in detention than in class".

Zara Smirked,looking at Ali from the corner of her eyes.

 

Okay ' what was I thinking, shez a bitch alright

Thought Ali as Zaara's remark garnered an enthusiastic round of hihihi from Ditzy Desi 2 followed by some more hihihi from Ditzy Desi 1.

 

"Dang this nomenclature was cumbersome. Stupid Ditzy Desi Trio wasting so much of my time and brainspace. Hang on a sec' Ditzy-Desi-Trio ? DDT ?! Man am I a sexy genius or what ?"  Evil Smile

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hmm..  Azaaan and Zaara "

 Ali had that look on her face. She was going to get back at them for what happened in Priya Ramalingam's class that day and she had just the leverage she was looking for.

 

"DDT had better watch their spiteful little backs cuz Ali doesn't forget. And she definitely does NOT forgive."

 

END OF CHAPTER

 

Author's note :

 

Chapter Trivia 1: this was the year 2002, and Saathiya starring Rani Mukherji and Vivek Oberoi was a blockbuster Bollywood  hit that year ..

Chapter Trivia2 : Before u people get judgemental and all, please keep in mind, these are 13 year olds Im talkin about ' they will grow as the story does. 

Chapter Trivia3 : DD is dichloro diphenyl trichloroethane, an organochlorine insecticide used widely back in the 60s ... and is now BANNED . Hence the title of the chapter LOL

Chapter Trivia4 : Gitmo = Guantanamo Bay Dertntion Camp , one of USA's most controversial detention/interrogation facilities and is used for PoW specially. 



Edited by SwaRon911 - 18 June 2012 at 11:47pm

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marauder

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marauder

Joined: 08 January 2011

Posts: 11999

Posted: 18 June 2012 at 1:33pm | IP Logged
Ummm... I zoned out . It again was too girly . Ali kaisa feel kar rahi hogi to pata nahi but it was bit too much for me to read silly girl talk. Ab mere upar jutte chappal phekna mat suru kar dena. And yeah i loved the last dialogue. kind of terrifying.
Waise i'm loving the attitiude of Ali. Looking forward to next update.

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Rafz

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Posted: 18 June 2012 at 1:37pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by marauder

Ummm... I zoned out . It again was too girly . Ali kaisa feel kar rahi hogi to pata nahi but it was bit too much for me to read silly girl talk. Ab mere upar jutte chappal phekna mat suru kar dena. And yeah i loved the last dialogue. kind of terrifying.
Waise i'm loving the attitiude of Ali. Looking forward to next update.

I was waiting for u to say this LOL
But this is a necessary evil .. to highlight the difference in the mindset of the characters  .. make it  even more obvious ... You have to know what kind of girls DDT are and how Alizey os different from them ... 

Also .. as u can see .. They tick off Ali. MAJOR. But why ?? For the same reason the chapter ticked u off . Too pink .. and too gurly ! Tongue I have some laughs for u I guess .. next chapter LOL Chapter 5 will prolly give u a deeper insight into the person of Ali .. and one of the DDTs. Embarrassed


Edited by SwaRon911 - 18 June 2012 at 1:50pm

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