Jassi Jaissi Koi Nahin General Discussion


Jassi Jaissi Koi Nahin General Discussion
Jassi Jaissi Koi Nahin General Discussion

Does girls go for bad guys.... (Page 6)

pj04 Goldie

Joined: 02 September 2004
Posts: 1623

Posted: 07 April 2005 at 11:09am | IP Logged

the question raised  is ...can we control who we fall in love with?...yes and no....there is always a pivotal moment in every relationship(more so in love). you decide if you are going to resist it or are going to let yourself go...should you decide to let yourself go ...you are in love , if you resist...there might be a little frustation emotionally but you have gotten over. once the moment passes, so does love(or atleast the sensation of it).it is a myth that you have absolutely no control over whom you love. let us ask these questions and answer them honestly

1) most of us love our parents unconditionally but would we still love them if they countinuosly humiliated and abused us.....(if they answer is no....this goes to show even the most basic and purest form of love changes over time)

2)you are happily married(by most standards), however you are attracted to a collegue(feels like love). can you resist it?, would you dump your family for this feeling? is this love better than what you feel for your husband of few years(okay so yours was not a love but arranged marraige)....if you say you will resist without feeling regret....(you have controlled your emotions and stopped them before they grow into something one cannot deal with)

                           while we can not always control emotions(that would be inhuman) but letting them run beserk is a complete affront to the thing called brains.

now for second part....people try to save thier marraige if it is of thier choice.....they have to do it , there is no choice...it is an ego issue now...if you fail...every tom and harry will tell you "i told you so".but mostly as laks said ...it depends on your maturity level.......if life deals you bad cards ...do you weep over it and try to walk out of the game without even trying or do you try to make best out of the situation and hope you win.

                  most people don't realise that a divorce leaves many raw scars that haunt you through out your life even if the marraige was unwanted in the first place.

Edited by pj04 - 07 April 2005 at 11:23am

sowmyaa IF-Dazzler

Joined: 23 August 2004
Posts: 3658

Posted: 07 April 2005 at 11:57am | IP Logged
Clap Clap Clap PJ great point there... you have touched the issue that happends to almost everyone in their lives and so maturely put together... I couldn't have said it better...just love to read ur posts... i really fall in love with way you see life adn ur analysis!!
sowmyaa IF-Dazzler

Joined: 23 August 2004
Posts: 3658

Posted: 07 April 2005 at 12:11pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Minnie

Originally posted by pj04

i guess i did not get my point through jp, jassidevi, minnie and all other. being wild is not a bad thing nor is being simpleton, however we need to look further than the appearances and also how it works with your dreams and personality. i see everyone quoting an example where things worked out...but for every single example that worked out against odd...i can quote 10 others that did not work out.the bottom line is that you need to be careful and think long term when making a commitment. also love does not triumph all and emotions are finicky....this is a bitter fact(the older you grow , more you realise this)

               as for you devildriver....someday you will end up with someone who will be right for you(you may start with love or not).

       Puja,it is not about whether it worked out or not.It is about getting an opportunity to exercise that choice. It's true that whatever we are is what we choose. Whether what we choose is right or wrong is based largely on luck and the determination to work at something with both being equally important. I have seen girls who are lucky in love and they take pride in saying that if the guy was otherwise they would not have choosen him. I say that when we do fall in love,we seldom wait to find out whether he is right or wrong. It is after we fall that we find that out. These girls are lucky because their choice did not turn out to be a deceit ,say six months down the line !! I am lucky in love because my husband did not turn out to be a cad six months after I got married to him. Unfortunately I have seen a large chunk of those unlucky ones as well. My cousin's marriage would not have worked out if she had not really worked at it. She chose it and she is living it out and when today everything is settled,she has come out to be the winner.

   My personal view is that arranged marriages are always more successful than emotion based love marriages. However the question here is not that. The question is whether it is right to fall in love with the wrong guy. My pov is,do we really get to choose whom we do fall in love with ?????

   The second point is,when we do fall in love,then what?? My best friend chose to break up at her parent's insistence, married a guy of their choice who was a very nice and yet was divorced 5 years later. Why and whereforth is immaterial. Today she has a kid and is single and wonders what it would have been like if she had stuck to her choice. Maybe she would have failed but then the choice would have been her's and sometimes it makes me think she definitely would have tried harder to save a marriage of her own choice. There are girls who stick to their decision because they made it in the frist place and there are others who don't think twice before dumping the person and moving on. That is when the matter of choice comes in. I think while falling in love cannot be controlled,the decision to stick to it can be. Having said that, I don't think we can ever predict that all the carefully weighed decisions will ultimately turn out to be right.

        In context of Jassi, I do think she decided to move on. That she is unable to stop loving Armaan does show the depth of her emotions. I think I respect her more for it because it would have been so easy for anyone to go for a greener pasture and that in case is Purab. Jassi can be everything we blame her for, but fickle and opportunistic she is not. She is human and has many failings but this is where I can still relate to her.

Minnie, I agree with you upto certain extend, but not 100%. First of all arrange marriages are more succesful because I guess there is no expectations. I had an arrange marriage and I did not know much about person I was getting married to specially teprament and stuff.. so when you dont know what to expect you tend to be more flexible.... you try and set your mind to work out this relation with all the hard work no matter what... unless in my case my husband is a gem and i really didn't have to work hard to have good married life.

About your friend, I personally think that going with arrange marriage though insisted by parents was "her own" choice. I was also in similar situation, and now I think that no one can push you to marry someone you dont want to. To me my family has always been first than my love. So if the moment you say "yes" to your family's choice that day you have made "your" decision. I dont think one should regret for that later on.....If my parents insisted me to have an arrange marriage, they didn't push me to the "mandap"... I agreed with them .... that means it is my decision to get married to their choice. I could have gone against them !!
pj04 Goldie

Joined: 02 September 2004
Posts: 1623

Posted: 07 April 2005 at 12:24pm | IP Logged
well said bgdesai.....also falling in love and acting on it are two different things. if one does not act, love tends to fade. if you are acting on it , then you have to decide what role brain and heart are going to play in ur life.
Emaa Senior Member

Joined: 12 March 2005
Posts: 306

Posted: 08 April 2005 at 3:55pm | IP Logged
wow u guys...
everyone here are so mature..speically in this topic...
i must say ..everyone has an excellent point of view

but most commen thing is..when we do fall in love we all learn to accept the bad and good part of that person..we learn to know everyone is different and they are just the way they are...we learn to love them even more..

i have to bring out one other point..i have seen and experienced this myself..
that when 2 same ppl are tied to each other..either by love or by fate..things dont work out at all...
when 2 same ppl decide to live their life with each other..both of them dont know how to live the next moment..
i mean both of them dont know how to handle thier egos or thier anger..both of them cant secrifice nething for neone..and mostly...IITS BORRING TO LIVE WITH UR SHADOW..

NEWAYS..good points everyone..
sowmyaa IF-Dazzler

Joined: 23 August 2004
Posts: 3658

Posted: 08 April 2005 at 5:17pm | IP Logged
Hum dil ki shehzadi hai marzi ki malika...
sir pe aanchal kyoon rakhe dhalka to dhalka..

Emma i liked your foot note... LOL   LOL really cool one!!
bluelotus Goldie

Joined: 09 March 2005
Posts: 1865

Posted: 08 April 2005 at 8:40pm | IP Logged

Hi this is a nice topic.

And d_d, you remind me of myself some ten year back. I definitely thought I am above men and their love and wouldn't have anything to do with them, Until I met him. Then I didn't know what hit me............... For that matter I still don't knowLOL 

Frankly speeking I don't remember analysing whether he is a volcano or ditchwater................... It all happened just like that. Love follows no logic and brain has nothing to do with it. I personally believe that falling in love is a gift from God. If you are not experiencing it your life is not worthwhile.


Ps: He was and is and will continue to be a Volcano and I still love himWink

spike Senior Member

Joined: 12 November 2004
Posts: 531

Posted: 08 April 2005 at 9:36pm | IP Logged

I think when love has to happen, it will happen. And whether the guy's good or bad won't be the issue of the day.

I think not all girls go after bad guys. It depends on what kinda guy a girl wants, to an extent. When you love, you the whole the whole person, not just the good side or the bad side.

As for me, I'm obssessed with a guy who's playing on his way to become one of the world's most super-evil characters LOL because even though the character will become bad, right now he's good, and he really values love and friendship, though his reputation throughout his town is nothing close to good.

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