Marriying sum1 with a long term illness

hiii

nope no silly chat topic this time....itz a really serious discussion

i was watching this pakistani drama and da guy has cancer. his mom wantz him 2 marry and enjoy da last stages of his life and his frendz agree. his mom and frendz think tht he shudnt tell da grl and family he haz cancer cuz tht drives alotta ppl away but he saiiz tht he will marry only if every1 noez da truth and da grl n familiy accept da truth and r willing 2 adjust 2 da fact tht the grl mite b widowed soon after marriage. (The mother is supposed 2 b da villain and her real motive bhnd da wedding is 2 have a grandchild 2 b da "last nishani" of her son and heir 2 her business and support 4 her)

so...it got me thinking...

shud sum1 hu is diagnozed with cancer or similar disease marry knowing tht they will die soon and leave der spouse a widow/widower?

wud u marry or want ur luved 1 marrying sum1 huz diagnosed with cancer?

wud u tell the other side abt ur illness and c if they accept u (like da guy wantz 2 do) or hide it (like his mom n frendz)

 

and basically nething else u wanna say on da topic?

Wud u marry or want ur luved 1 marrying sum1 huz diagnosed with cancer?

hmm... NO

Sorri Bak to being serious. okay.

Edited by CuteFairy91 - 04 April 2006 at 8:17pm

What a heavy topic Jav . Kya baat hai .....into serious philosphies of life huh ??!!??



Yaar this person only needs a "nishani" .........some one of his gene pool . Then go rent a womb !!!!!!! Find a woman who will be a surrogate mother to your child , pay her money , she hands you a baby and then she leaves !!!! In this age of artifical reproduction you got to be stupid to marry just for a baby !

No I don't think some one should get married knowing that your spouse is going to die. The story of the drama you mentioned seems like the girl & guy are going to have an arranged marriage just to have a baby ...lol...that's is sooo wrong.
A girl would never want to screw up her own life knowing she is going to be a widow especially is she goes through an arranged marriage. Now if the couple is in love & then one of them gets sick & finds out that they will die....then i am sure the couple will not want to get married...because if they love each other then one of them can't be selfish enough to make the other spouse saccrifice their life as a widow after the person dies.

i dnt think that a gal should marry a man who is seriuos sick....what for? as long as u know that after a while you gonna be a widow then i think you should not risk your life....

it depends ennit if u really love smeone den noo one can really stp u but if dat guy really loves ya he wouldnt marry ya nice topic dead touching

Only serial script-writers can fantacize such situations. Why on earth the girl and her family would agree? If money is a factor or the girl has some drawbacks, then it's understandable. Are they lovers, I mean is it a love marriage?

I can tell a real happening stated by a girl herself on FM, program name was 'Love is in the air'. A girl named "Dupur" happened to know all of a sudden that she was suffering from blood cancer. Everything got devastated, so also her love life. But her lover was adamant and wanted to marry her. And so they did. She dedicated the song 'You fill up my senses..." to her lover, thre is a portion in the song

"Come let me love you
Let me give my life to you
Let me drown in your laughter
Let me die in your arms."

It was so touchy, I was in tears almost sobbing. That couple recieved hundreds of fan-mails and well-wishes.

lol aparna di i can b serious if i want
he WANTZ 2 tell her and he dusnt wanna marry ne1 but his mom is portrayed as da "bad guy" and she is pushing it.

and ya da guy likesz da grl but dun wanna take da relationship 2 da nxt level and she dun really noez him (she wrkz in hiz company and since itz hiz momz company n hez sick she dun make him wrk so hez got all da tyme 2 stare @ her n watch her type n do other wrk tht she dus @ da office and talk 2 frendz )

and aparna di..i agree with u...if sum1 wantz a kid and thtz all they want and dey will die dey shud get artificially inseminated....but this is a drama and i dunno wat da script writers have in mind 4 us

ok guyz...4get the drama..i jus mentioned it cuz thtz wat got me 2 think....u tell me...letz discuss the issue without considering the drama



heres my response:

-If i really luved the guy and i found out he has cancer i wudnt end my relationship but i wud move it farther ahead so tht i can spend as much tyme with him as possible and tht i have sweet memories 2 cherish 4eva...and besides..none of us is immortal all of us will die 1 dai...if sum1 was meant 2 b a widow/widower they cant help it...a healthy person can die frn an accident or develop a disease 2 u noe..if u reallly luv em u c past such thingz and u r willing 2 compromise not spending all ur life with tht person..in fact if u luv em u wud wanna b with thm at da last momentz of der life...wud ne of u married ppl divorce ur spouse if he suddenly had cancer..i doubt ne of u r heartless or cruel enuff 2 do tht...so y shud it matter if the ppl truly luv each other?

BUT....

if itz an arange marriage and i dun even noe da guy itz a diff stroy...in an arrange marriage it is said tht frst itz marriage thn luv..but y bother developing a relationship with sum1 u dun care abt huz gonna leave u soon?...if itz arraged thn im sure da parentz can arrange 4 another guy 4 u..but as i said there no guarantee he will live long..cuz our lifespan is written by God and we dont have much control over it (xcept da cowardz hu commit suicide )

as 4 the "hiding it" part..i think thtz WRONG...theres no justification 4 tht..whetther arranged or love if ur trying 2 develop a relationship everything shud b said out open and nuttin shud b hidden cuz tht setz a weak foundation 4 da relationship and itz cheating the other side and itz disgusting tht sum1 wud do such a thing..this is a serial and da guy will tell da grl all abt it even tho his mom tellz hm not 2 and she will fall in luv with her but itz sad 2 think tht such deceiving happenz in real lyfe as well..i dunno of ne experiencez of ppl i noe but im sure it happenz in real life