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fatmah5000 Goldie
fatmah5000
fatmah5000

Joined: 02 March 2006
Posts: 1744

Posted: 04 April 2006 at 6:46am | IP Logged

dear friends,

i hope you all r great n doing well...Embarrassed

im new on this section and i have just came with the question which really disturbing me as i m da first advisor to whom my best friend is concerned.....Confused

well,its a verry long story though in short,i have my best friend...she got marriad in a verry young age,it was completely arrangd marriage as she was da only daughter in her family,so she was doing what her parents says....Ouch

as long as she stayed wid her hubby,love grew btwn them,but da only problem was against her mom in law as we all know...!Angry

she started creating wall between them n finally they divorce while my friend was 2 weeks pregnant....Cry

nobody knew at that tyme....and life went on....Confused

after 1 month she came to know that she was pregnant,but......no body on her husband side supportd her,she was completely alone....Angry

so she struggled alone...completely alone...with life full of tensions,insecurity n loads of problems....Cry

all her in laws were saying that the baby was not theirs......its really pains as i know verry well my friend..Cry

life went on...she finally got a cute baby boy n alas,,,,,he was like his father.....Ouch

hats off to my friend...she worked every night like a crazy and she grew her boy like a king......Clap

nothing he missed....and god is verry kind...my friend got married to a verry kind man..Embarrassed

her new husband is taking care of the boy...now he is 6 years old,and never knew about his real father...Cry

my friend keep on saying that he will tell the whole story when life will allow and if tyme will support the situation...Ouch

and finally...her happines became a dark night....that her first husband called her,begging,crying,n ask for the forgivness......Cry  Confused  Ouch

all he wants is just to hear his sons voice,to get his pic (he doent know his face)Cry

sooo,my friend is completely dnt know what to do....at 1 side he remembers all his bad....her pain,tensions she passed by throughout 6 yeras....and at other side,she is feeling sorry for him,and whenever she looks at her sons she really gets confused...Ouch

remember...she is no luck of anything....good husband,security,healthy boy,love,and a verry good financial support....

please suggest / discuss what should i reply her?Ouch

 

Aparna_BD IF-Dazzler
Aparna_BD
Aparna_BD

Joined: 01 July 2005
Posts: 4926

Posted: 04 April 2006 at 7:05am | IP Logged
Your friend went through a lot .Brave of her!!

She should firstly get a lawyer and tell her husband to formally adopt her son so that this stupid first husband can NEVER lay claim on the son.

Next after this adoption is made legal she should allow restricted meeting with the biological father.

I am saying to allow this meeting only for the sake of her son , not because of this jerk of a man. As this boy will grow up , he will start getting confused and will start questioning the mother about his biological father. She should tell him about his biological father so that this man can never come and ruin her son's life.
sowmyaa IF-Dazzler
sowmyaa
sowmyaa

Joined: 23 August 2004
Posts: 3658

Posted: 04 April 2006 at 7:37am | IP Logged
I agree with Aparna.

Also, I would say, that make sure her new husband is aware of and agree with most of her decision as after so much trouble she now has settle life and she does not want to mess that up due to her mean ex-husband.
Me_Anonymous IF-Sizzlerz
Me_Anonymous
Me_Anonymous

Joined: 03 July 2005
Posts: 11408

Posted: 04 April 2006 at 7:45am | IP Logged
i agree with both Sowmya and Aparna Di both
she should NEVER go bak to her old MEAN husband and the strict meeting is really good i was gona suggest that too but Aprana Di already did it
anyways i think tellin her son right now everything might not be good for the child, i think he is too young for all these things, so m confused myself wat to suggest Ouch
fatmah5000 Goldie
fatmah5000
fatmah5000

Joined: 02 March 2006
Posts: 1744

Posted: 04 April 2006 at 7:52am | IP Logged
thank guys for your kind advice......i apreciate ur views... Embarrassed
sowmyaa IF-Dazzler
sowmyaa
sowmyaa

Joined: 23 August 2004
Posts: 3658

Posted: 04 April 2006 at 7:53am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Neil Diamond

Is Mahesh Bhat reading this Wink .....Imran Hashmi, another movie for him!

PS: sorry folks, couldnt help this.


ND, someone here is telling saga about her friend. If you don't have any suggestion or anything you can atleast restrict yourself to post anything here.
Aparna_BD IF-Dazzler
Aparna_BD
Aparna_BD

Joined: 01 July 2005
Posts: 4926

Posted: 04 April 2006 at 7:54am | IP Logged
Originally posted by scorpion134

i think tellin her son right now everything might not be good for the child, i think he is too young for all these things, so m confused myself wat to suggest Ouch


Telling a child a truth about his situation as early as age 3 is the best , research has shown in these cases .When the child grows into a tean , these things lead to misunderstanding between parents .Its best to tell the situation as early as this , the kids are very smart even at age 6.

ND - there is nothing filmy about this . This situation is very common and some women do go through it.


Edited by Aparna_BD - 04 April 2006 at 7:57am
Me_Anonymous IF-Sizzlerz
Me_Anonymous
Me_Anonymous

Joined: 03 July 2005
Posts: 11408

Posted: 04 April 2006 at 8:01am | IP Logged
hmm i agree Aparna DI but still i feel they should wait for 1 or 2 more year so that the kid knows the ups and downs of everything
but i also think its better that th ekid gets to know from his own parents other than outsiders, coz outsiders weneva tell something they add Masala and Mirch to it

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