Does a baby complete a "woman"? - Page 2

Posted: 17 years ago
i dont think any particular event can "complete" a woman...life brings many transitions..education...marriage..baby..etc..and between all of those..is when a woman grows into a "complete" person...
Posted: 17 years ago
I think it depends on the woman herself, but many women do think that motherhood is the highest stage a woman can get to and once she becomes a mother, she feels complete
Posted: 17 years ago
Before I give my views, I want to relate a small experience. When my older son Neil was born, on the 3rd day, the doctor said that they would have to apply tincher to his navel because it wasn't drying up properly. So the nurse came and swabbed the tincher on his navel. I guess it hurt, because Neil suddenly let out a piercing wail. And at that moment, my heart turned over, it hurt so bad that it felt somebody was choking me. I never ever realised that inflicting pain on a body which was not mine could actually hurt me worse. Since that day, not one incidence has passed when he got hurt and a part of me didn't go mad with panic.

Being a mother taught me that there is something in this world which is more precious that your own life. I guess that feeling can come only when you go through it.

However, I would say, it's not the birth itself which completes a mother, it's having that life in your hands which you know is going to be moulded by you gives that feeling. Those who cannot conceive, it does not make you incomplete. But never holding a child in your arms, soothing away it's troubles, being the most important human being in this whole world for someone,even if for for a little while,does. And it's not only true for a woman, but for a man as well. The man might have been schooled for centuries to curb that instinct in himself to be more 'macho', but reality is, he too is never the same once he holds that little life in his hands who depends on him more than anything else in the world.

I am not the right person to comment what a woman feels when she does not have a child. Ever since I remember, I had wanted a child and when I got married, that is what I had prayed very hard for. Yes, I did feel a certain fullfilment when I got the news that I was pregnant, a wonder hard to describe. It kind of feels like a miracle, though you know every other woman you know feels the same.

   Those who cannot bear, when they adopt a baby, I have seen first hand that they feel no different from the ones who have given birth. In India, it might be the society which trouble the ladies, but in US, there are no societal pressure to have kids, and some couples go without by choice.Yet I have met ladies who are extremely depressed that they cannot have one. And they eagerly wait for an adoption. In fact this yearning of holding a baby in the arms, to nurture it,coupled with the desire to carry forward the family genes, has given rise to surrogate motherhood.

    I think it's in a woman to nurture, to take a life forward. She is like the soil which gives life to the plants. And without the plants, the soil itself erodes away......

    Not having the ability to bear a child is not a crime and what the society does to ladies in India is atrocious. But just wanting a child for the sake of society pressure is bad. The absence of the feeling to nurture is what troubles me more.Being a female, I would have to say that I find it very very abnormal.


   So I guess it depends on what the priorities are.

   
Posted: 17 years ago
Thanks Minnie for the insight, 👏.
"However, I would say, it's not the birth itself which completes a mother, it's having that life in your hands which you know is going to be moulded by you gives that feeling. Those who cannot conceive, it does not make you incomplete." Minnie
Posted: 17 years ago

Originally posted by sowmyaa


I guess "being complete" is very relative term. Women is not complete without men-vice versa, or women is not complete till she becomes mother depends upon what "woman" wants from her life. I have seen woman who does not want babies and live happily. Finally it boil down to what couple wants and how happy they are and what they want in their life.

Although, I wouls say that having a baby is just uncomparable and you don't know what it is like until you have one. I once read this "one who don't have kids know best how to raise them"...it is so true. You need to go through having a baby and caring him/her to know what you are missing. Unitl you don't become mother you don't know what big lesson you are missing in your life. It teaches you how to love someone by giving all the love you have, teches to to have patience, loving someone without any expectations....I guess being mother change you entirely......so until you become one you don't know what you are missing.

However, if someone cannot conceive a child no one has right to call them incomplete. OR if someone does not want a child no one can call them incomplete. I would say being mother is the most important change/role/experience in women's life ....but if you don't have a child it not end of the world afterall.

 

👏👏👏- i completely agree with u. complete is indeed a very relative term.

the main thing is the sense of satisfaction frm ur life. if a woman cant conceive or doesnt want to conceive then, also she can live a successful and happy life. its all abt wat u want frm life.

yes, motherhood is indeed a grt xperience. after all, ur baby is anextension of urself which u have nurtured for ninemonths in ur body.

but at the end of the day,more than  the society, the woman should decide whether  she feels complete in her life or not.

Posted: 17 years ago
Originally posted by Signora2


Thanks Minnie for the insight, 👏.
"However, I would say, it's not the birth itself which completes a mother, it's having that life in your hands which you know is going to be moulded by you gives that feeling. Those who cannot conceive, it does not make you incomplete." Minnie


Very well said !👏! Its not the birthing experience , but raising a life thats important . I think many of us forget to emphasise on that !! ( or do not realise the difference)

Some people may not understand the love one feels for their furry babies as love that is as strong as a mothers love for her child . I have two fur babies( dogs , but i call them fur babies because thats what they are). My babies need me like any other baby needs their mother . There have been times when one of my baby's foot got caught in a rock while we went treaking . She let out this heart wrenching yelp and looked my way . I can not just describe the panic i felt and how i rushed to her and removed her foot. Then the moment i did that this 42 pound big fur baby jumped on my lap like a baby does after a scary episode . These are some of my many incidents where i have felt the surge of motherly love taking care of my babies.

This motherly love can come taking care of a furry animal , adopted child,biological child or any baby( human or animal) that is helpless and needs your attention.
Edited by Aparna_BD - 17 years ago
Posted: 17 years ago
👏 👏 👏

WOW minnie di...very very well said

yea i guess women unable 2 bear children might be looked down upon in indian or pakistani socity but other than that i think its the fulfillment of being a parent that makes the woman have a child....i really dunno wat 2 rite...im sure i can answer this quetion better wen i grow up
Posted: 17 years ago
I dun think that a having a baby is necessary for a complete woman... i think that living life to the fullest is. Reaching ur goals, dreams, and living a happy life. Babies arent necessary. these tv shows r nothing but BS.
Posted: 17 years ago
Hmm.. ok All the mothers here have explained clearly the meaning of motherhood.. and i appreciate that! 👏

But i think the point here is that if a woman is not able to have a child, does SHE THINKS that she is incomplete???

To me, if anybody says that a woman is incomplete without marriage, without child, etc., then i believe they r questioning on the HUMAN ASPECT of woman. Does anyone think that man is incomplete without marriage,child? I am saying that we all r humans. GOD created us in the best way, best manner. Who r we to question anyone's completeness through these intangible and subjective matters. Is the society trying challenge Nature by saying that if a particular condition is not satisfied (child in this case),then we r going to debar her from being a complete woman???!!!! Rubbish!!! 😡

I believe that a woman is COMPLETE the day when she was born. She doesn't need a certificate from the society to do so. If a woman just says to herself that "Yes, I am a woman, and im proud being a Woman." Simply there's no space left for anything else. She is the miracle created by GOD and people shouldn't even dare to doubt or set conditions on her, her completeness, her individuality.

All i am saying is that daughterhood, sisterhood marriage, motherhood and Career are Important PARTS/ASPECTS of a woman's life. These noble aspects of woman shouldn't be used to question her individuality, her identity. Edited by MNMS - 17 years ago
Posted: 17 years ago
Motherhood is not just a physical state but a state of mind.If you choose not to become a mother or life's circumstances prevent you from having children, find other means to attain the leadership lessons of motherhood.
Oprah Winfrey, for instance, is incredibly nurturing and empathetic as well as a very powerful CEO, yet she has no biological children. Yet she spends more than 1billion$ to help underprivilaged children. Many childless, giving women channel their generous spirits into good causes. Not only do they receive food for the soul, but they become balanced and complete.

Every woman has a mother in her the minute she is born and it is up to her to choose how she brings out the nurturing, caring and empathy that only a mother can have...and as long as she does that it doesnt matter whether she has given birth to a child or not ....she most defintely is complete.

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