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Chandragupta Maurya

FF: Mysterious Murder at Manampur; Updt-Pg 44;5/2 (Page 11)

swethasyam08 IF-Rockerz
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Posted: 22 December 2011 at 10:30am | IP Logged


Chapter 2 Part 2: The stranger in the town


They entered the Police station and presented their card. 

The Chief inspector Amar Ahluwalia received them saying u no need to introduce ur self. I was expecting u! How are you?

Both of them introduced to chief inspector.

I'm glad that u have come. I'm not sure whether it will help u or not but I thought of mentioning it to u.

Amar ji: Are u coming straight to the police station?

Manish ji: No we have checked in a hotel in Sahu hills to see how the place looks like.

Amar ji: We have received the entire details of the case. Well Sahu is very small place with little population. As u see it is surrounded by hills on three sides the only source of production is cloth which is called Sahu weave. But recent years the production is reduced as large no. of young people are migrating to larger cities.

Manish ji: (In his mind) he is speaking in the northeastern dialect.

Amar ji: I have made enquiries with the photo u have sent but none have seen him but... after a pause a week ago a strange man appeared in the town. His first appearance was of a laborer, wore a worn out suit a man in in his 30's or 40's. This man stayed in Ashiya Inn in the Sahu hills region which is old but a reputed inn. Its not that he stayed in that inn its abt a laborer stayed in such a inn. The hotel owner was not ready to give a room. When he paid all the amount of the room in advance, he had to give him the room but not a good one.

Manish ji: What kind of things happened?

Amar ji: Well that's the thing. Nothing happened strangely. He gave 500 Rs as a tip to the hotel maid which generally no one would give in this area. Then after supper he said he was tired and slipped to bed without even changing. That made people think quite odd.

Manish ji: anything else??

Amar ji: Yes! He woke up at 10 o' clock that night and asked the hotel maid till what time will the inn door be open? She answered 1 o'clock. Hearing this he took his bag and left at that time and returned at 1:00 A.M. They were surprised to see him doing so as nobody knows where he was gone and moreover nobody goes out after 10.

Manish ji: I suppose there is a record of his registration in the inn.

Amar ji: Yes u can get that even in the inn. And the next morning he left. When the inn owner asked him he said he is getting the train to Lucknow. And he gave his address of lucknow.

Manish ji: So the strange thing is he was away from inn for 3 hrs.

Amar ji: If that was the only thing I wouldn't aks u to come so long. There were 2 more things abt him. 1. He was seen loitering near a cloth weaving store in the near by mall for 30 minutes. He did nothing but staring at the shop and to the sides. The shop owner wanted to complain to the police but she dropped as he was doing nothing wrong just standing and staring. 2. He was seen sleeping near the river near by the hills in the noon time. No body would sleep at that time and that too near the river.

Manish ji: That means before he could check in to the hotel he was wandering around and found slept near the river. Hmm this is very strange. That means he appeared taking a nap on the bank of river, later he checks inn and leaves out for 3 hrs at 10 in the night, stares at the shop. This doesn't look like a normal behaviour.

We would like to look around the place and also visit the inn. Saying so they left to the inn.


He showed his identification to the inn owner and asked abt the strange man.

Manish ji: Do u have the details of him in the register?

Inn Owner: Yes we do and showed the register.

It was written as: Gagan Chand, XXX, Chand street, Lucknow. The writing was very bad as if a grade schooler had written. 

The maid replied "he filled the details in his room. And when I returned it was filled."

They failed to describe this man. And he was not carrying any luggage except a old shoulder bag.

Then they went to the shop where this stranger was seen staring. Collecting all the details from the shop owner, they reached the river which was flowing through mountains.

It was a beautiful place covered 3 sides with mountains with the river flowing through them. The grass grew tall on the banks of the river. A woman in the farm was carrying hoe. Few people are working in the farm. It was peaceful and very scenic place.

 

Aditya: What do u think abt this man? Was he related to the victim???

Manish ji: I don't know. But his name and address are fake. That is for sure. If we observe clearly he has filled the register with his left hand purposefully. Here is the copy of the register. There is no flow in the writing and no one will write so awkward characters.

Aditya: But where did he go from 10 - 1 in the night? Very strange, with his appearance and his doings we can assume he has no other business in the town.

Manish ji: That's it. I was just thinking about it myself. 

He stood with his both hands stuck into the pockets. Ripples spread in the river in front of his eyes. The sun shone on the mountains and cast deep shadows.

Aditya: This is a strange trip. The results are kind of disappointing, aren't they? What shall we do now? Since we don't have any more leads, shall we go home?

Manish ji: Don't we have to find out where else the man went?

Aditya: I don't think we'll be able to. He was probably here for only that one day.

Manish ji: Though he seemed like a drifting laborer, there's no evidence that he came to ask for work. But may be we should make inquiries in the nearby towns just to be sure. After all, we've come all this way, come on cheer up.


The following afternoon, Manish ji n Aditya visited the office of the Chief Inspector again.

Manish ji: Thank u for every thing you have done for us.

Amar Ji: you're welcome. Were you able to discover anything?

Manish ji: Thanks to you we were able to get a concrete picture of what went on. It seems that the man didn't make an appearance in any other villages. And maybe this incident holds some promise.

They chatted for a whole with the Chief inspector for an appropriate length of time and took leave from him.


When they reached the station and entered they saw a commotion over there. A group of young men and women with suitcases surrounded by several men who looked like newspaper reporters. Some had cameras and were taking photographs.

Manishi ji was not interested to find who they are and so he went to find the train schedule.

Aditya was anxious to know who they are asked his permission and went to see who they are. To his surprise it was the "Victory Group", friends of his Fiancee.

Having chatted with them he left towards Manish ji. He said they were here to attend seminar through University and now returning back to Lucknow. Finally they boarded the train. After sometime Manish ji started writing in his pocket book. Aditya thought it was regarding the case.

Later he gave the book to Aditya and asked him to read it.  It was a beautiful poem... 

 

A stranger stood by a cloth store staring

His clothes were old and worn

His shoes were scuffed and soles were loose

His coat was ragged and torn.

He sleeps at noon on the banks of river

He vanished for 3hrs

Who is he? Who is he????????????????????


Aditya said ohh it was regarding the stranger 


I was sitting

I was resting

On the banks of river staring

The grass is green and its breezing

The women in farm working

The people around walking

What am I thinking and why am I thinking

Now the train is moving and the sun is setting

When its just awesome around and time for resting...

 

this is all about the nature and our journey now... 

Manish ji was listening without any expression on his face. 

Aditya was so happy to read his poem and later they had dinner and slipped to sleep...


Chapter 2 Part 2 Completed

how is it guys???


Coming up next: Chapter 3: The Victory Group Smile



Edited by vss08 - 06 January 2012 at 4:56pm

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justjayatiMoner_Radiorai-kishori.chatterboxtiny15Amor.khusi_*

justjayati Goldie
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Posted: 22 December 2011 at 10:50am | IP Logged
too good swethu!!!!!!!!
u write awesome...

and woah!!
case ko poem mein convert kar diya!!! That was something new... awesome..
Well swetha.. u write very nice poems... plz post some on poetry thread yaar!!


Edited by justjayati - 22 December 2011 at 10:52am

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swethasyam08tiny15

swethasyam08 IF-Rockerz
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Posted: 22 December 2011 at 10:57am | IP Logged
heheh never expected poem will come good. Smile and glad u like it. thank u

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justjayati

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Posted: 22 December 2011 at 10:58am | IP Logged
Originally posted by vss08

tiny! u have said what i had in my mind re!!! thought of mentioning abt diff trains but neglected it as it is FF. i made a direct train till shimla and from there a taxi to sahu hills  LOL

though i know its not possible to go there directly hahah Wink

Next update Shortly...
swetha i don't mind abt these things by u but i thot that there shud b sum reality  in it so that ur FF bcums almost perfect & we can enjoy more!!Wink

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justjayatiswethasyam08

swethasyam08 IF-Rockerz
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Posted: 22 December 2011 at 4:11pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by tiny15

Originally posted by vss08

tiny! u have said what i had in my mind re!!! thought of mentioning abt diff trains but neglected it as it is FF. i made a direct train till shimla and from there a taxi to sahu hills  LOL

though i know its not possible to go there directly hahah Wink

Next update Shortly...
swetha i don't mind abt these things by u but i thot that there shud b sum reality  in it so that ur FF bcums almost perfect & we can enjoy more!!Wink


ahh loved that!! Thank u very much tiny.  Hug

it was really hectic since 3- 4 days that i have to prepare this ff apart from my personal work. so really didn;t get time to recheck it either. though didn;t write in a hurry. Confused

more over i was planning to finish it as fast as i can due to some personal reasons, excluding weekends. 

surely i will come up with good work in the rest of the updates. 




chatterbox IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 22 December 2011 at 9:17pm | IP Logged
swetha its very good and u r building up nice suspense.. i told u i dont read ffs as i get confused but i m keen to know the end

u r making it good

keep it up


and no offence to anyone

fiction is meant to be fiction

so if some reality is off side  we shud just let it pass andenjoy the story..

no offence friends  just my opinion


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justjayatiswethasyam08

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Posted: 22 December 2011 at 10:30pm | IP Logged
@ swetha :
              read your update just now, it was quite good and the suspense built up quite well. & the poems were really goodClap, i read detective stories in bengali by Satyajit Roy, and even there i find such poems that form the leading clues to a case. you can also do like that if you wantSmile. now regarding your update, i think you still have problems with punctuation marks. for example ( i'm copy -pasting it here ) :
 

They entered the Police station and presented their card. 

The Chief inspector Amar Ahluwalia received them saying u no need to introduce ur self. I was expecting u! How are you?

The Chief inspector Amar Ahluwalia recieved them saying : u dont need to introduce urself. I was expecting u ! How are you ?
Both of them introduced to chief inspector.

I'm glad that u have come. I'm not sure whether it will help u or not but I thought of mentioning it to u.

put this inside " " signs, since this is a single dialog without the name of the speaker.
 
and this line
 
Amar ji: I have made enquiries with the photo u have sent but none have seen him but... after a pause a week ago a strange man appeared in the town.
 
put after a pause within ( ) since it is a halt in the speech and not part of the dialog.


Edited by polly_03 - 22 December 2011 at 10:32pm

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swethasyam08

rai-kishori. IF-Sizzlerz
rai-kishori.
rai-kishori.

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Posted: 23 December 2011 at 2:07am | IP Logged
Great !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Awesome !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ClapClapClapClapClap
Clap

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