FF: Mysterious Murder at Manampur; Updt-Pg 44;5/2 - Page 7

Originally posted by: vss08

Aru! bringing my hubby too into this he will enter after some time 😆 😳

@ swetha :

Okay let me divide the whole story update in to parts:

1. The Start: All of a sudden a dead body which creates the tension ambiance. But the dialogues at that moment was not so convincing. Tension was missing in the dialogues. But I must say the first hit with the dead body awakes the readers' senses. Awesome start.

2. The next parts: First update looked like a Police report presented by some journalist. But as a reader I must say, I didn't want those infos. Those infos could be better if had been unfolded by any character's dialogue. After all you are writing a story, not a documentary. But after that the story takes another turn towards the characters. A cliche police figure with his experience, good but saw it many times. You should have tried some other way to present the character Manish.

3. Over all: A beautiful narration with perfect pauses and reliefs till now. I want better from you as the expectation goes higher after these 2 updates.

Great going. Just don't keep it up, but make it large!! 👏

OMG did i put it 5.30 ???? OMg too many mistakes 😡 it should be 8 . 30 thanks guys u are correcting me. im not even checking after writing. 😒

ok i m kind of lost.

swetha  just correct me

who are these ppl in  character sketch  2


these characters are in lucknow right

and murder happend where manampur

so where was manampur

alex fm cgm is history teacher
hehe wonder who is going fida on him then

i did read it last nite before going to bed bt i cudnt understand and i read again after getting up

so i guess that character sketch part hv to understand

now manishji has reached sahu hills

lets see what he finds out

so far so good

who is aditya here

let me check ur index again

ok got it

aditya is assistant to manish

and lucknow came in focus becoz the person was caught at lucknow airport

so they r some student and teacher who were caught

cool

got it

have to keep track of the cast

hhee thats why i get confused

Good!...
Cops r chatting other than their cases...lol...good...
Now waiting for the revelations of this mystery

awesome part Swethu!!!

Great !!!!!!!!!!!!! Loved It Cause I Like Travel & Mystery The Most And It Was Awesome Too !!!! 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

Good Character Sketch and Nice update...Continue soon😛.Thanks for PM