Joined: 10 October 2011
Joined: 10 October 2011
Joined: 10 October 2011
Joined: 10 October 2011
Ahem paced the room restlessly. He had come home to find Gopi involved deeply in the kitchen. She did not even come up to give him tea as usual. She sent Mani with his tea. He had asked Mani to send Gopi up only to find another servant come up and ask him if he needed something. Gopi was avoiding him. At dinner she served him his food and smiled. Ahem was too angry to respond back. He just kept his head down and finished his dinner to run upstairs to his room. He did not see the look of confusion pass her face.
Now it was 10:30 and he had an unfinished file open at the table that needed his attention. But he was in no mood to attend to it. "I will surely put an end to this today..", Ahem muttered and turned as he heard her come into the room with a glass of milk.
Ahem immediately realized that Gopi was pre-occupied. She turned to him mechanically and gave him a smile. Then walked up to his table to keep the milk. Ahem's anger turned to surprise and then to worry as he saw her stumble against the chair. He rushed forward to catch her.
"Gopi.. Are you alright?" He caught her hand and looked up and down. Tears were springing up in her eyes and she looked terrorized. "Gopi.. What is it? Where is it hurting?" Ahem's total concentration was on Gopi and failed to see that the glass of milk had spilled on his open file.
Gopi freed her hand and immediately rushed to salvage the rest of the papers on the desk. She was weeping and mumbling her apologies. "GOPI.." Ahem pulled Gopi back before she could be hurt by the broken glass.. "Gopi.. Come here.. Leave the papers. It is ok.. Come here.." He took the sobbing Gopi by holding her hands to the couch and seated her on his lap. Gopi was sobbing. "So.rr..y.. Ahemji" she was saying between sobs.
Ahem looked at her for a minute and his heart went out to Gopi. She looked like a small child. "It is ok Gopi. It is not your fault. You did not get hurt and that is more important. Stop crying. You will become sick.. Shh.. Sweetheart it is alright." Ahem's words made Gopi cry more. She hugged him around his neck and sobbed more.. "Your file Ahemji.. I ruined it..", she continued.
"Shh.. it is fine. I have the original copy at office. I can get it tomorrow. This is only a copy.. It is no big deal.." Ahem replied. He held Gopi until her sobbing reduced to hiccups. When he found her a little calm, he brought her in front of him and looked at her tear ravaged face.. "Oh Gopi.. See what you have done to yourself." He wiped her tears off her face. "Idiot.." He chided softly. "It was such a small thing and you cried so much for that? Huh? It is not just that, right? Gopi. There is something else. You cannot hide from me. I know it is more than just the file.. What is it sweetheart? Will you not tell me? hmm.." Ahem coaxed Gopi to talk to him.
Fresh tears broke out as Gopi again hugged Ahem. Ahem rocked her waiting for her to open up to him.. He continued mumbling small endearments.. "Ahemji, I tried so hard, so hard to be a good sister and a good daughter. Where did I go wrong Ahemji? Why do Raashi ben and Maami not like me at all?" Ahem heard Gopi's muffled words. He had to strain to hear her talk.
"I tried so hard Ahemji.. But I always bring bad luck. Maami said I brought my bad luck to their house. I don't remember my parents. But Mamaaji said that they loved me very much. And Maami would love me like a mother. He said all I had to do was stay with them as a daughter. So I tried so hard to be their daughter Ahemji. I did all Maami told me to do. I helped her and worked in the kitchen and in the house. I listened to Raashi ben just as she asked me to without a word. But even then she was always angry with me. And Raashi ben..", Ahem just hugged Gopi tighter. His throat caught as he listened to Gopi.
"Raashi ben always said she was my big sister. Then why did she say that I was unlucky? Ahemji? Where did I go wrong? Am I so unlovable? All I wanted was them to accept me.. But I was so stupid. I kept making mistakes." Ahem heard Gopi blame herself and wanted to strangle her Maami and Raashi with his bare hands. He understood Gopi's sorrow. She had wanted to belong somewhere so badly that she had kept doing everything they commanded she do. Just make her aunt and sister accept her.
Ahem now understood why Gopi agreed with whatever others said. She just made sure everyone stayed happy with her by doing so. She was afraid that if she upset someone they would send her away. Her insecurity about her relations left her with such low confidence. He now understood her fear. She feared failing him and everyone else. She feared she would be cast off like her Maami cast her off if she made a mistake. He wondered if Gopi was still worried about him sending her away if she made a mistake. He had done it once before. He wanted to uproot that wrong impression in her mind if she did think that way.
"Gopi.. Do you think that we will do the same thing? Is that why you were so distressed by spilling the milk today?" Ahem questioned her. Gopi lifted her face from his shoulder to look at Ahem with tearful eyes. He would have missed her nod if he had not watched her carefully. "Oh Gopi.." Ahem hugged her again wondering how to articulate his words to remove that fear from her forever.
"Ahemji, I am so clumsy. I still keep making mistakes. Ahemji, I cannot bear it..Please do not hate me Ahemji" Gopi cried.
"Gopi.. Gopi.. Look at me.." Ahem wanted to make Gopi understand that he meant every word he was about to say. "Gopi. Just look at me and listen?" Ahem forcefully made Gopi look into his eyes. He was always in loss of words when they were most needed. He never knew the right words to say. But he knew Gopi needed him now.
"How can you still believe what your Maami or Raashi told you? Did you not see how much they have lowered themselves? They just wanted to hurt you Gopi. It was nothing else. There is no truth in what they said. Trust me. I consider myself very lucky to have you in my life. How can you even think you bring bad luck Gopi? You are my lucky charm.. My fool.." Ahem again told her lovingly.
"Don't you trust me Gopi? Believe me, there is nothing unlovable in you. You are loved by each and everyone of us here. Your Maama loves you. Mom, Dad, Kaki, Jigar, Deepu, everyone loves you. And I love you the most and will keep loving you always." Ahem groped for more words to convince Gopi,
"Gopi.. Ok let us see it this way.. Leave your Maami and Raashi ben out for a moment. I have also added on to your insecurities." When Gopi nodded no, Ahem just kept a finger on her mouth to stop her from defending him. "No Gopi. Whatever you say in my defense, I was still blind at the beginning and I did hurt you. But listen. That is not what I want say. I know it is all in the past. But the past is causing you so many doubts.." Ahem continued and smiled sadly.
"Gopi, Believe me when I say that there can be nobody as lovable or as beautiful like you. You are beautiful inside out. You have a big heart Gopi that you do not even get angry with your persecutors. You forgive everyone so quickly that I have wondered if I would ever be worthy of you. Don't you understand Gopi? The chances that you may leave me being fed up with the mistakes I make is more compared to the chances of me even thinking about leaving you." Ahem grinned as he was rewarded with a look of utmost shock on Gopi's face. Then he saw her nodding no, vigourously.
"Gopi.. Seriously. Do you think that I will let go off my life and that too because she sometimes makes mistakes? We are human Gopi. We do make mistakes. You never gave up on me when I made all those mistakes with you. Why? Because you loved me, right? And you know I love you.. So how do you think I will ever give up on you? Ever?" Ahem reasoned. Gopi nodded again. "Ahemji. I know you love me." was all she said. But her eyes were clearing up. Both stayed silent for a few minutes as Ahem let his words sink in totally.
"Darling.. Did you ever think why Maami and Raashi needed to do all they did? So many things to make you fall down in my Mom's eyes, from everyone's here in MB." Ahem calmly asked Gopi after a few minutes. He found her looking at him puzzled. "It is because they knew that without intentionally making you a culprit they can never make you disliked. You are the most lovable person I know Gopi. They knew you would be loved like you deserved to be when you came here if they left you alone. That is why they made you do all the mistakes, blamed you for Raashi's.. What does that tell you? Why do you think I kept harping even on the smallest thing in the beginning? Even I knew Gopi, that those where the only excuses I would have to keep you away from me. Do you understand? Even after all that, we all fell in love with you. I fell in love you. In spite of everything Raashi and Kinjal did... Does that not tell you how lovable you are?" Ahem explained and was slowly rewarded by her small smile.
"Now tell me, do you not feel my Mom loves you?" "AHEMJI.. Maaji loves me very much.." Ahem grinned. He knew he had been on target. "Hmm and what about me? You are my Mrs. Perfect.. Don't you think I love you? You are beautiful kind, strong, brave, honest... How can somebody fail to love you unless they are blind of course or plain stupid like me in the first year of our marriage.." Ahem teased. Gopi playfully hit him in his hand. "See you even get angry.. By the way, thanks Gopi. I know whom to call if I am ever in trouble. You are really very scary when you are angry.." Ahem put in and was again rewarded by a blush and a shy smile. "So my dear Gopi" he held her tighter and continued, "Don't ever again feel like that again. Ever", Ahem laid his forehead on Gopi's. Their eyes met and he could sense a calmness come over her and he heard her sigh happily.
Gopi looked at Ahem with her big brown eyes. She felt a newfound sense of love and security envelope her. She placed both her hands of his face and slowly lifted herself to tentatively kiss him. Ahem was first surprised when he found her lips on his. Gopi had become more comfortable with him in recent times and had sometimes even teased him with her wily charms and small pecks on the cheek. But when he kissed her he always found her hold back. But today thus kiss had no reservations whatsoever.
Ahem kissed back with all the love and passion he felt for the woman in front of him, the person who made him whole. He found Gopi's tentativeness disappear. She had intensified her kiss and Ahem felt himself lost in sensations he never felt before. It seemed all the unknown barriers in-between them had broken down. Each tried to let the other know how much love they felt for the other by that one kiss.
When both came up for air, they were flushed. The same question reflected in both their eyes. Ahem gave Gopi another quick but equally passionate kiss and held Gopi a couple of inches in front of him studying her face lovingly. Then he silently lifted her up. He knew Gopi wanted the same thing as he did. He after all knew his wife. He planned to show her just how lovable and beautiful she was, making sure she never doubted herself ever again.
Gopi was first lost in Ahem's words. When Ahem reasoned with her, she found herself awed by the simple explanation. Yes. She had to intentionally make mistakes when she wanted her Maaji send her out of the house. But even then her Maaji had not. She had been punished. But that was it. It dawned on Gopi that nobody in her Ahemji's family considered her an outsider. It has become her family. After the first time she left and even when she left, her in-laws were devastated. They had been overjoyed to see her back home. "Yes... Home.. This is my home." Gopi realized as she heard Ahem patiently tell her why she was lovable. Her heart filled with joy.
She had always felt herself indebted to the kindness others showered on her. Hence she made sure that she did everything to make others happy afraid that she would be cast off if she did any mistake. Hearing Ahem she realized that even if she did anything wrong, her Maaji and Ahemji would still love her. Just like she loved them, without any conditions. She would never be alone again in her life.
This newfound knowledge enveloped her with a sense of security and happiness she never experienced before. It dawned on her that she need not be afraid in making mistakes. She had her husband and her in-laws to guide her through. They would love her no matter what. She finally belonged. She belonged totally to her husband and their family. It was then Gopi did what she never dared to do before.
She wanted her husband to know just how much she loved him and trusted him. She lifted her face up to kiss Ahem. She was tentative at first but when she felt him kissing back, she deepened her kiss pouring all the love she felt for him into that one kiss.
Gopi lost herself to the kiss as she felt herself being pulled into a pool of passion. Ahem broke the kiss to look at her. His eyes mirrored hers. He should have realized she was ready because the next moment Gopi felt herself in his arms as he slowly made his way to their bed. Gopi hugged him and buried her face in his neck. She did not feel frightened of disappointing him now. She trusted him. But there was an unknown feeling of excitement in the pits of her stomach as she felt herself lowered onto the bed. Ahem's look made her blush as she realized how much her husband wanted her. She felt a strange sense of power and her excitement increased.
Ahem lowered himself to her and started kissing her on her face and neck. Gopi again felt herself floating but this time she let herself go completely and lost herself to what she was feeling. She felt herself pulling Ahem closer and closer to her and kiss him as though her life depended on it.
Gopi heard Ahem moan and felt her confidence swell. She wanted to give him the same pleasure he was giving her. Gopi was drowning in his touch. She moved her hands on him and restlessly tried to pull him closer to her. She felt herself drawing nearer and nearer to the edge of a precipice. Her husband was being gentle, kind and passionate with her coaxing her to let go. She was being pleasured but she felt herself begging for more. "Tell me what you need Gopi.." She heard Ahem whisper. Gopi just pulled him close. She could not speak. She felt herself wanting more but did not know what it was she wanted... "Please Ahemji.." She whispered as Ahem kissed her once more swallowing her words. Just when she thought she could take it no longer, she found herself transported to another world, a world where none except her Ahemji existed. Gopi heard him utter her name and then pull her on top of him as she drifted off to sleep.
"Thank you Gopi.", Gopi was too tired to even open her eyes. She smiled, hugged Ahem and went to sleep in his arms. "I love you..",was the last thing she heard as she drifted off to a peaceful sleep.
Gopi finally overcame her insecurities with Ahem there helping her like the caring husband he is.. I promise then next update will have Jigar and Deepu aplenty. But I could not manage them in this.
So how did you like it? Was it what you expected? Or was it disappointing... Comments, feedback and suggestions please...
Joined: 24 September 2011
Joined: 04 December 2011
Joined: 28 September 2008
Joined: 21 February 2011
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