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FanFic SAATHPHERE (Page 55)

jyothi_cool IF-Sizzlerz
jyothi_cool
jyothi_cool

Joined: 16 May 2005
Posts: 12840

Posted: 12 May 2006 at 11:32am | IP Logged
gr8 job

munizaaa Goldie
munizaaa
munizaaa

Joined: 23 November 2004
Posts: 2423

Posted: 12 May 2006 at 3:37pm | IP Logged
Oh god this is embarassing i m like the last one to comment. Super duper good job desi chic it was a fabulous episode just loved it Clap Clap


I guess i ll do the next episode, i ll try to make it really funny Tongue , since i was unable to write for soo many days. Plzz guys comment a bit more. It really encourages us to write better and better. Tongue      
pinkpanther21 Senior Member
pinkpanther21
pinkpanther21

Joined: 18 January 2006
Posts: 213

Posted: 12 May 2006 at 4:10pm | IP Logged
heyy everyone. I was away for a couple of days so I couldn't read the fan fics. But after I did...all I can say is that...you guys are truly amazing. I wish I could write like you guys. Man if this was the serial..i would watch it. All three episodes I missed were all fabulous. Don't worry. We all are hoping that you guys keep going. And my BEST WISHES are with you guys. Don't worry, I'll give you ALL of the encouragement I can!! And did I mention....GOOD JOB??!

lolzz Smile
ramas IF-Veteran Member
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ramas

Joined: 03 February 2006
Posts: 36618

Posted: 12 May 2006 at 4:23pm | IP Logged
Thanks pink panther we love your comments. That is great encouragement.
shali IF-Sizzlerz
shali
shali

Joined: 15 December 2005
Posts: 16240

Posted: 12 May 2006 at 4:48pm | IP Logged
Heeee,

I'm also there and still enjoy your work Big smile
heads off......

Muni darling, You wont loos you writingscales after a few day's, so dont worry......... Wink

and the persoon kaverie is trying to get hold on is?????

( hmmmmm, maybe karen Dead )
munizaaa Goldie
munizaaa
munizaaa

Joined: 23 November 2004
Posts: 2423

Posted: 13 May 2006 at 7:52am | IP Logged

LOL LOL thanx shali, i will post my episode today Tongue

Its a very sad and happy episode. mixture of emotion.Tongue 



Edited by munizaaa - 13 May 2006 at 10:52am
munizaaa Goldie
munizaaa
munizaaa

Joined: 23 November 2004
Posts: 2423

Posted: 13 May 2006 at 1:33pm | IP Logged

Ok here's the next episode don't hate me if its bad I m a bit our of practice. And it is quite long I hope u guys don't get bored. Tongue


Recap:
meanwhile kaveri's room...
"nahin saloni di, mein aapka kwaab pura nahin hone doonga. shubra aur neel ki shaadi mere hotay to nahin hogi". again she calls someone on her cell...



Episode # (i m too lazy to count)

WE are going to fast forward our story to the day of the wedding we are now at nahar's house.

SCENE 1. Nahar's house

Saloni is fully ready (she has a black saree on very simple but very beautiful her hair are tied up and curled) she is standing by the dressing table having a hard time buttoning the last hook of her blouse. Nahar has just come out from the bathroom, his hair is wet as he has just taken a bath. Saloni seeing him from the mirror (still struggling to button that last hook).

S: Ap abhi tak tayar nahi hue mujhe to lagta hai hum shaddi khatam hone ke bad hi ponche ge

N: Mein tayar to hoon, dekha na I m going to be ready before u and mujhe hamesha ki tarha tumhara intezar karna pare ga.  

S: haan haan ap to pori tarike se tayar hai, srif kapre pehena bhool gaye hai.    
Nahar goes to the cupboard and takes out his clothes and lays them on the bed.

S: Meri thodi madad kar den ge. (refering to the hook)

N: YA sure. Goes toward saloni and closes her hook. See that is why I always get late hamare madam ke kam me phas jata hun.

S: Makes a face.

N: (in a teasing voice) Saloni!!!

S: kya?

N: Wo tumhari shakal to dekho.

S: (looking at herself in the mirror sounding a bit worried) kya hua mujhe…

N: Wo… dekhao. takes her face in his hands examines it closely.

S: kya hua…

N: There is something missing.

Saloni: (worried) kya

N: (Kisses her on her cheek ) ( grins) kuch nahi, ab bilkul thik hai.

S: NAHAR! Ap bhi na bilkul bache hai. Pata hai hum kitne late ho rahe hai.

Saloni goes towards the bed where nahars clothes are laying.

S: ap ye pehne ge, shadi mein. Goes towards the closet and takes out new clothes

N: kun in me kya kharabi hai, kitne comfortable hai.

S: Pata nahi mein apse shadi karne ke liye man kese gai, pata nahi ap ka kya ho ga agar mein ek din ke liye bhi yahan se chali jao to. Ab ye lijiye aur jaldi se tayar ho jaiye (pushes him towards the bathroom)

N: Saloni lekin…

S: koi lekin wekin nahi ap jaldi ja ke tayar ho jaiye.

N: haan saloni lekin mere kapre to do.

S: (bit embarrassed) Haan wo mein apko dene hi wali thi.

After a while nahar comes out from the restroom wearing a black suit white shirt.

N: Chalen

S: Ak minute zara idher ai ye

N: Kya hua

S: Going closer to him. Something is missing.

N: (gets all excited as he expects a kiss) Kya.

S: (Goes closer to him holds his face.)

N: (closes his eyes expecting a kiss)

S: (Hits him lightly on his face) Ab thik hai.

N: (opens his eyes) Ye kya saloni, meine tumhe ek kiss di aur tum. I m not going to got to the shadi now till u give me a juicy kiss.

S: Nahar, quit acting like a kid. Tumhara kud ka bacha ane wala hai aur tum. Great way to set an example. (folds her arm in an angry way)

N: (annoyed) haan haan thik hai. Chalo.

S: Aww… ur such a darling. Hugs him and kisses him on the cheek.

N: (smiles)

SCENE 2. Shubra's bedroom.

Shubra is getting ready. Ambika enters the room.

Ambika: Meri laddo kitni khubsurat lag rahi hai aj kahin tumhe meri hi nazar na lag jae.

The door opens once again its kaveri

Kaveri: mummy ji apko sab bula rahe hai, chaliye.

Saloni has arrived at her maika.

She goes up the stairs to shubra's room. Just then someone brushes past her covered in a shawl. Saloni looks back to see a fancy bridal saree showing from under the shawl.

Saloni: Shubra??

Shubra: (turns around) saloni di.

Saloni: shubra tum… aise ghar se ….

Shubra: saloni di wo mein…(starts crying)

Saloni hugs her: kya hua shubra.

Shubra; Saloni di mujhe kisi ne phone kiya tha… aur usne kaha ke agar mein us se abhi akele aa kar nahi milun gi to wo neel ko… jaan se mar de ga. Di mein neel se bohot pyar karti hun, aur mein us se kuch nahi hone de sakti. Mujhe plzz jane dijiye

Saloni: To tumhe mujhe batana chahiye tha. Aise mandak se chali jati to kya hota janti ho.

Shubra: Saloni di lekin neel…

Saloni: Don't worry use kuch nahi ho ga. Mein chal rahi hu tumhare sath.

Saloni and Shubra walk out of the door, Nahar is the only one that notices them he goes after saloni. Calling her but she doesn't hear him, just sits in the car and goes. Nahar gets worried and decides to follow them.


SCENE 3. A viran place

Saloni and Shubra arrive at this viran place there is no body there. Just then a guy approaches them. Saloni hides behind the car. I m going to call the guy gunda, hope u like the name.
Gunda: acha hai tu natak kare bagair aa gai Warna mujhe tumhe man a ne ke aur bhi kahin tarike atte hai. Ab chal.(he grabs her hand)
Shubra: k..k…kahan??
Gunda: Chal. (he pulls her hand and starts dragging her)
Shubra: saloni di!! bachaoo. Saloni di!!!
Gunda: is ka matlab tu akeli nahi ai hai, kisi aur ko bhi sath lai hai. Ab to tu gai. (he points the gun at her)

Saloni comes from behind and struggles to get the gun away from the gunda's hands. There is much struggle going on Shubra also tries to take the gun away from him. Just then Nahar arrives. He gets out of the car and is shocked to see saloni and Shubra with the gunda struggling with a gun. He goes near them to help them. But before he moves even 4 steps a gun shot is heard. Saloni falls to the ground. Shubra screams.

Only the next writer can tell u what happens next so stay tuned

I hope u guys liked the episode.



Edited by munizaaa - 13 May 2006 at 1:50pm
goodgurl Groupbie
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Joined: 21 April 2006
Posts: 191

Posted: 13 May 2006 at 1:41pm | IP Logged
tfs!

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