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Middle Class Values (Page 3)

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Posted: 14 December 2011 at 3:37pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by momma1128

@all - Is Khushi not putting Anjali's happiness with a dubious man ahead of the truth? Why did she not say why her engagement broke? Anjali does not know her fiance. But, my biggest issue with Khushi was not her silence, it was not her quiet on the broken engagement, it was her VADA to never let anything happen to Anjali's marriage. That put a whole different spin on it.


Did Anji say hum uske bina jee nahin paayenge? if so, khushi may have thought that she might do something to herself..  As we have seen, khushi forgives easily (remember she saved Shyam from a near accident), is very caring and likes to help everyone (sometimes she over does it).. so what she did today was part of her persona ... but I know this time both the Gupta's and the Raizada's will come heavily on Khushi for hiding the truth..

So she is not only going to face music ... she is going to face the band bhaja.. baraati  LOL

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momma1128

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Posted: 14 December 2011 at 3:38pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by -Nithi-

Anu, as always an  awesome post !

But I don't think Kushi kept quiet to save Anjali's marriage as she is traditional. Its only witnessing the hungama that Anjalai made, made her to go mute. 

But what about the so called elders of the family ? If Kushi is made to deal with a serious issue like this all alone, then why did buaji made all the decisions so far ? Is it not buaji's duty to meet naniji and tell the truth ? And wll anyone speak to a victim at the first place ?

No brains and logic at all. 


i dont agree its logical...khushi is close to the raizada family ...so it was decided that khushi will tell thetruth

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Posted: 14 December 2011 at 3:43pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by momma1128

Originally posted by Marybarton

<font color="#CC0033">Khushi took an emotional decision because she likes to see everyone happy. I don't think it was part of her lower middle class way of thinking. It is the same decision Arnav will take and he's not middle class either.

They are both doing it out of love, to spare Anjali because she is already damaged by her part. It is weakness on their part because they think Anjali's condition makes her more vulnerable.

While you put a good question, your criticism was off. I don't think there is anything wrong with middle class traditional values. In fact, they would say that Khushi tell Anjali the truth. Anjali's values on the other end are traditional. And perhaps a little too devoted and forgiving, but it does not have anything to do with class.
</font>


I did not say middle class is bad and never would. I am very middle class from the USA. And his entire aukat thing was disgraceful. But, ultimately, isn't Khushi agreeing with Garima, the lie wins, whether it be for the sake of Payash or Anjali. And it because the marriage means more than anything else.


You said middle class traditional like a criticism, so it sounded a little like that. But I am not attacking you, just giving my take on how I saw it. Don't get hurt. I also thought his various aukat talks were wrong and I am going to make my fanfic Khushi take it out on him for saying those things. I think class ideas are just wrong, but that point has nothing to do with the soap. What matters more is merit.

In any case, I don't think that Khushi took her mother's side by not telling Anjali. Because she is not doing it to save Anjali's face in society, like Garima wants to for Payal. She is doing it because she thinks Anjali will break and she already has so much hurt, the leg, the past, etc. So Khushi thinks Anjali is too weak to deal with this. That's why she wants to safeguard Anjali.



Edited by Marybarton - 14 December 2011 at 3:43pm

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Posted: 14 December 2011 at 3:44pm | IP Logged

Anu although I understand your POV i don't exactly agree with the whole bit. 

I don't think Khushi being the martyr has much to do with middle class values and gender role.

I think her self sacrificing tendency is firstly a result of her being an orphan. She sacrifices a lot for her family, not only because she loves them but  because she feels indebted to them.

Her decision of hiding the truth was a result of her caring nature combined with Anjali's extreme reaction after the mangalsutra incident. 

If you notice carefully, she was rather shocked to see Anjali panic. 

But the only thing I didn't like was that she didn't tell that she broke off the engagement. She could have also mentioned the guy turned out to be a fraud. 

EDIT...Isn't La and Arnav doing the same thing by hiding their break-up truth ?



Edited by incandescent - 14 December 2011 at 3:48pm

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Posted: 14 December 2011 at 3:52pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by momma1128

@Nithi - I did not take the vada that way as the engagement is broken. I took it as an assurance that Khushi will protect Anjali's marriage. Maybe that's why I have such a bad taste in my mouth from that scene.

Yes, even I thought of this angle. May be witnessing how weak and dependent Anjali is, she might have taken this decision. 

Anjali said " Hum jee nahi payenge" - This changed the ball game completely.

The dialogue is very open-ended !


Edited by -Nithi- - 14 December 2011 at 3:53pm

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Posted: 14 December 2011 at 3:57pm | IP Logged

Great post as always Anu.

 I agree that Khushis values, morals and the background she grew up with are one of the reasons as to why she probably couldnt bring herself to say the truth to Anjali. But it was also how the situation and Anjalis panic attack at the entire mangalsutra fiasco that played a pivotal role in her not being able to speak up. It makes me wonder too that by hiding the truth, isnt she doing the same as Garima had suggested yesterday Ermm 
 
Something also tells me that she still hasnt realized or understood the extent to which Shyam can stoop down to to probably get her back in his life, Khushi probably thinks that Shyam will again go back into making Anjali happy.
 
Everyones sacrificing for someone or the other, and right now Payash wedding is what everyones really focusing upon.

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Posted: 14 December 2011 at 3:59pm | IP Logged
@Fari- for me traditional values, as i saw from my mom, and her mom before her, is that if you are a woman, you will sacrifice. I don't agree with it and goodness knows I haven't done that, but this is the value system as deep rooted as trying to live up to Sita as the ideal wife. I find it curious that everyone is so against her being labelled traditional. Maybe because I am not in the subcontinent I didn't realize it was such a buzz word.

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Posted: 14 December 2011 at 4:13pm | IP Logged

Originally posted by momma1128

@Fari- for me traditional values, as i saw from my mom, and her mom before her, is that if you are a woman, you will sacrifice. I don't agree with it and goodness knows I haven't done that, but this is the value system as deep rooted as trying to live up to Sita as the ideal wife. I find it curious that everyone is so against her being labelled traditional. Maybe because I am not in the subcontinent I didn't realize it was such a buzz word.

Khushi is very traditional in a lot of ways. In fact a huge part of the story is about Khushi's values based on the traditions and societal norms. Sacrifice is a major part of tradition but it's not the whole thing I guess. So in that context, being traditional in some ways is not necessarily a bad thing. 

But I just feel that hiding the truth wasn't a result of her traditional values. Embarrassed



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