Joined: 15 May 2010
OMG this is so good
please pm me with the next update
Joined: 15 May 2010
Joined: 15 May 2010
Joined: 15 May 2010
Joined: 15 May 2010
Firstly, my apologies to everyone for such a late update. I have really been suffering from mental block to update the FF. Really hope I have not disappointed anyone with this update. Please pardon me for the delay and hope the update lives up to it. Thanks for the lovely comments everyone. I have also updated the links on the first page as it was not working.
This song has been playing in my head as I updated this part, trying listening to it as well. Enuff of my ranting...
Kasam ki kasam : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lqk5XRPbtfk
She watched him as he slept and her weak heart ached even more seeing him in that state. Till today she doesn't know what made him love her so much but she was sure that her love has wrecked him again. She wished that she could turn the time around and undo her mistakes. She couldn't stop him from falling in love with her but she could have crippled the feeling from start which she failed to do. He would have been broken but eventually he would have moved on with life with solace that it was one sided. Instead of staying firm with her decision; she melted in his love and professed her feelings for him despite her condition. She has dragged him into this dungeon willingly and now it is too late to mend the damages. Love was supposed to be a beautiful phase in everyone's life but it was different in hers. Her love only gave Virat sleepless night instead of sweet dreams. Her love has confined his world to hers, he literally lived in the hospital and his world only revolved around her, her illness and her treatment. He spends most of his time with her and when he is not with her, he is either with Dr Shashank discussing about her or on his laptop surfing for all possible things that will cure her. Love was about sharing your sukh dukh but Virat was selfless in his love. He only showered her with his unconditional love, striving to fulfill her every wish and in return he only wanted her pain, her tears and her sadness. Selfishly that was what she gave him in return.
God blessed with her with so many people who loved her unconditionally but unfortunately she was not sure whether he blessed her with time to embrace the love and repay them. Although she knows nobody will be able to fill up the vacuum in Jeevika's life if anything happens to her but she was sure her Di will move on. Her jiju will ensure she does, Beeji will find consolation in Jeevika Di and Dabbu while chachu & chachi will see her living in her Di's roop but Virat... She felt as if her heart throbbed even more when she thought about him. Will he ever move on? Will he retreat back to his fortress again? Will he shut himself and his emotions from everyone? She was worried for the outcome of each question that popped in her mind and guilt coiled her. Her consciousness continuously stabbed her heart with accusation. She decided that she has to make him move away from her, prepare him to move on without her despite the outcome of her treatment. She will numb herself, freeze her heart if it requires for the sake of her love, her Chep.
Virat was startled from his sleep when he heard irregular beep from Manvi's ECG. Fear slowly crept into him but sighed in relief when he saw her lost in her thoughts while her delicate hand still caressed his hair. He scanned her expression, her eyes were moist, her cheeks dampened by her tears and she was clearly distraught. His hand immediately reached out to wipe her tears that his instinct told was for him. His touch stirred her, breaking her away from her train of thoughts. "Why are you torturing your brain and your little heart with all this unwanted thoughts? See how the ECG machine is begging you not to hurt it any further" he frowned at her. She was stunned by his question, as if he could read her mind. Virat got up in the pretense to stretch himself avoiding her stare but he knew she was disturbed because of him, the fear she saw in his eyes. He has always been strong in front of her, making her feel that she was suffering from cold not cancer but today he broke down completely. She is shattered seeing him in this state and she is holding herself responsible for his state. Virat took a deep breath, trying to erase of his worries, rebuilt his confidence for the sake of his Bandariya. He struggled to recompose himself before facing her again, he needed to ensure his body and mind was under his control. She was already shattered and he can't afford to break her any further.
He was glad that the nurse broke the stony silence which had descended on the room; she performed her routine checks giving him the extra minutes to be prepared. "Feeling better today Manvi?" she asked while she changed her IV drips and Manvi nodded in reply. "Dr Shashank will be in shortly for your check-up Manvi" she informed and left the room. Virat finally met her gaze; it was chaotic due to the emotional turmoil that she is going thru. He forced a smile and nudged her from her thoughts "Oye Bandariya, kuch chaye?" he asked. Manvi nodded and motioned him to come closer. Virat came closer, knelt near her and whispered "Kya chaye Bandariya?". Virat helped Manvi to sit up and he sat next to her. Manvi slowly removed her mask and whispered "Virat tum ghaar jao. You are very tired". He gave her his trademark eyebrow raise and replied her " Isske alava aur koi chaye?". He was not surprised with her request; it was something that he anticipated. After all who knows his Bandariya better than him? "Manvi, I'm not budging from here till you are out of this place and back to your room. Don't waste your energy arguing, samjha" he replied her back while trying to tuck away the strains of her on her delicate face. "Virat, look at yourself. Do you know how bad you look now? I just want you to go home, take some rest, freshen up and come back later. Mujhe mera Chep chaye not this dukhi athma devdass" she replied him while trailing the dark circles around his eyes and his unshaven stubble. "Bandariya, girls will adore me for this stubble and you are complaining! After all, it is the hot and handsome Virat Singh Vandhera that you are commenting about" he shot her back with a wink. "Handsome mere joothi..." she snapped at him back."Ok ok, shant hojaye meri ma... Don't get too emotional. I promise I will go home and shave, but after you are back to your room. So now follow the doctor's advice, get well soon else you will have to endure this look forever. No further arguments" he warned her. She tried to argue but he shushed her.
"I hate to interrupt both of you but I'm left with no choice. Check-up time love birds" Dr Shashank announced as he entered, leaving both of them startled and blushing. "Not at all Dr. She is all yours" Virat replied as Manvi was too shocked to reply. Dr Shashank studied her all her reports while Virat waited anxiously for his response. "Manvi, your progress has been very positive and your reports look good. You don't have to wear the oxygen mask all the time but use it if you have difficulty in breathing" he announced. "Dr, can I be transferred back to my room?" Manvi asked. "Not yet Manvi, I will need to consult Dr Sharma, our cardiologist before transferring you out." he replied. Disappointment was evident on her face but she obeyed. Dr Shashank smiled at Manvi, he gave a pat on Virat's shoulder and whispered in his ears "She will be alright. Don't worry" before leaving. "Manvi, why are so interested in sending me home?" he quizzed her in a serious tone. "Aur kitni dheen tak mere wajah si tumara life koh barbat karogi iss hospital par?" she blurted out impulsively. Virat's expression changed and it took Manvi awhile to realize what she blurted out. Instead of handling the situation subtly, she again blurted out and spoilt her chance. Virat knew it was coming but he didn't know it was this soon. If he followed his instinct, he would hold her, shake some sense to her head and scream his lungs out "Damn it Manvi, kitni baar kaho that I love you. We promised to fight the cancer together with our love and now you want me to back off. I'm not doing you any favor nor am I ruining my life! I'm actually living my life to its fullest with my love ". Knowing her health condition, he needed to be careful and tactful in making his Bandariya understand without getting her emotional. Being aware of her nature, he took a deep sigh as he knows it won't be easy task.
Virat sat next to Manvi and made her look at him. "Manvi, look at me" he instructed her as he tilted her chin to meet her gaze."Manvi, tumara kehna nah matlab kya hai? I don't understand yaar" he asked her. Manvi anticipated resentment in his voice, but he was calm and composed which worried her. "Virat, woh kuch nahi. You know me nah, I just blur out things without thinking" she tried to change the topic but Virat was not ready to give up. "Bandariya, I shall end what you started once and for all" he told himself. "Joh tumara mann mein hain, batao mujhe. Kya matlab tah tumara? I know what you said earlier was not by mistake but what was in your mind" he asked her again but on a serious note. "Virat, I can't afford to see you in this state I'm solely responsible for this. Virat, you have showered me with so much of love but in return I have given you only misery and agony. For the first time, I have seen fear in your eyes and how wrecked you were when I was unconscious. Virat, what if I didn't wake up today?" Manvi paused for an answer but Virat was quiet yet composed. "Virat, I realized that I have been selfish in this relationship. I dragged you along with me, you have been my partner, you have been my strength to continue this fight but I'm not sure whether I will be able to win this fight. What if I don't survive? Will you break down like how you did earlier? Will you be able to move on with your life? Even if I survive, I'm not sure whether I will be able to lead a normal life, give you all the happiness that you deserve. I don't want to be a burden to you; I don't want to be an obstacle for you. Virat, I can't ruin your life or your future because of me" tears choked her but she maintain the composure in her face and voice, not wanting to reveal how excruciating it was for her to utter those words." Virat, I don't know how else to make you understand, it is not too late for you to turn back. You deserve someone better in your life, someone who will give you only happiness, who will fulfill all your wishes" she finished.
"Are you done? Sab kuch bolediya?" he asked her and Manvi nodded in response. "Acha, toh ab mere baat suno. Firstly is it wrong to be afraid of losing someone that you love? Bhabhi and bhai were equally worried of losing you earlier, are you going to shut them and everyone else who cares off your life? If I was on the bed instead of you, will you be calm? Won't there be fear in your eyes? Won't there be tears for me? What makes you think I'm only going thru misery and agony because of you? Manvi, love is not about weighing how much we give each other or take from each other. We don't maintain scoreboard in relationship. I have started living my life to the fullest because of you. I have learned to value life and cherish every moment that I endure because of you. My life was aimless, I was sailing in the ocean without a destination until you came into my life, you made me understand my life, you made me smile again and you made me live my life again. Your love have actually stopped me from ruining my life, redeemed me from my past and showed me my future. Talking about being selfish, I was equally selfish when it comes to our relationship. Manvi if you recalled, I was the one who confessed my love to you when you were fighting for your life. If you blame yourself for dragging me into this so- called dungeon, then remember I was the one who made you do that. So partner, we are both guilty as charged. Aur pagli, what we have started is a beautiful journey together. Life is a journey that nobody knows the destination, we just embark it with the hope that we will reach our desired destination. Nobody can be assured that they will reach their destination together, along the way we may meet new people; we may leave some behind and continue to move on with their memories. Manvi it is normal to breakdown when you are emotional, when you are scared of losing something. Bhabhi broke down when you were diagnosed, when you were unconscious, you broke down during bhabhi's bidaai, you thought you will not be able to move on without bhabhi but you did nah? Just because you break down and look shattered, that doesn't mean you are weak. Eventually everyone moves on, it is just matter of time. You have taught me to live my life, live for my loved ones, Manvi tunne mujhe jeena sikhathe. I will continue to live my life to its fullest with your memories even if you are not around and that is a promise. Finally, about fulfilling my wishes and being a burden. I want a truthful answer from you Manvi. If I was diagnosed with something fatal and or something really bad happens to me right after our marriage, will you consider me a burden or would you leave me? Will you pursue your happiness somewhere else?" Virat waited for her answer but what he got was her tears. "You can't answer nah? We both know what the answer would be so stop this double standard game. Love and marriage is not only about fulfilling your partner's desires and needs or giving only happiness. It is about mutual trust, consoling them when they are sad, motivating them when they are down, laughing together during happy days and crying together during the hard times and screaming our lungs out and fighting over differences and making up the next moment. It is not mere physical, it is more than that. We complement each other; we enhance our strength and overcome our flaws together. We are incomplete without each other Manvi "he finally replied.
Manvi was again flounder for words, she didn't have answers to his questions neither did she have any valid reasoning. She felt his hand on hers, the warmth of his touch infused thru her skin shattering her icy stoned heart. She melted away again in his eyes, his words, his touch; her determination and will to push him away vanished again. She didn't want to be away from him for a minute, imagine lifetime. The more she tried to push him away, the closer she got. It has become almost impossible for her; she needed him as much as he needed her. Virat was worried of the outcome but he sighed in relief the moment he saw her. Torrents of emotions flowed; guilt, realization, love. She was in tears, but it was not chaotic anymore. Her eyes gave him the assurance, the answer he needed. He cupped her face, brought her nearer and asked her "Have you gotten all your answers Manvi?"." Hain Virat, mujhe millagayi" she replied back. "Pakka?" he asked again. "Hain Virat, pakka." She assured him. "Then promise me that you will not let all these matters bother you again and weaken your spirit to fight. We will face it together Bandariya. Tumara partner hamesha tumara saath hoon "he told her. "Virat, I'm sorry and I love you" she told him. "I love you too Bandariya" he replied and softly placed a kiss on her forehead. Manvi pulled him closer and whispered "Go get yourself shaved, I don't want girls flocking around you when I'm not around Virat Singh Vandhera! You are mine." she warned him. "As per your command my dear" he replied while giving her a flirtatious smirk. He enjoyed his Bandariya's possessiveness.
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