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Human Change..

popkurn IF-Rockerz
popkurn
popkurn

Joined: 01 December 2004
Posts: 5186

Posted: 22 March 2006 at 2:21pm | IP Logged

**Crossing fingers** Hopefully this is a debatable topic, I havent started a topic in the debate mansion for quite some time, and also if this topic is repeated then Im very sorry.

Okay..the main question here is..Is human change a good thing or bad?

I know human change just occurs naturaly and well you cant do anything about it..but why does it hurt so much? Like I mean I had these 2 friends in kindergartan that I was very close too..my family was close to them as well. All 3 of us were friends till Grade 5..but after that everything changed..one of my friends moved to another school..my other friend just stopped talking to me since she was in another class..throughout grade 6-8 (middle school) everything was pretty silent between us 2 friends..(there was no contact between my other friend that went to another school)..but us two friends still talked..but not as much as we did in elementary school..and now that we are in high school (secondary school) we have STOPPED talking..my friend changed..she changed from a normal sincere, honest friend..to who knows what..we NEVER talk..it seems like I dont exist to her..my friend now drinks, does things that I never thought of her doing..and shes only 14! And well..sometimes I miss my old friend..but is there anything I can do?? NO!..she doesnt talk to me anymore at all! And it hurts..

Well that was just my story..

But how come human change hurts so much? Why do people have to change? And is human change a positive or negative thing?

Your views..

Priya

popkurn IF-Rockerz
popkurn
popkurn

Joined: 01 December 2004
Posts: 5186

Posted: 22 March 2006 at 3:36pm | IP Logged

Originally posted by loonytunes



Human change is inevitable. Sometimes, that change is positive but sometimes..well sometimes it's not. When it comes to relationships, you'll have to keep in mind that with time every relationship changes. No relationship stays the same as long as it lasts. It evolves, for the simple reason that humans evolve. When humans change, a relationship is bound to change with it. To really keep a relationship going, you'll have to accept the person with the changes and bring some changes in yourself too. That is, of course, if you still DO want to keep a relationship with the "changed" person. Don't expect a person to always remain how they are.

love,
LT

Hey thankz for replying,

I know what your saying..I know that not everyone stays the same..but it just hurts to know that a very close friend that I had, is no longer there..but..what can you do right? You just have to live with the change..I know for sure..that I aint changing into what she is..I guess I will have to live with how she is..

Priya

Aparna_BD IF-Dazzler
Aparna_BD
Aparna_BD

Joined: 01 July 2005
Posts: 4924

Posted: 22 March 2006 at 4:05pm | IP Logged
Priya you are talking about the growing pains sweetie . Like LT said every persons evolution is inevitable . Friendships go through changes . Your circumstances , situations change . You are in school , you will move to college , post grad may be , work , marriage , kids !! These will all be milestones in your life .Each time you reach a milestone you will realise you yourself have changed .

Maybe you yourself can't detect that subtle change , but another friend will be able to tell you that you seem different .

Also as far as friendships go , i too have gone through a lot of pain when i felt friends changed . Not neccesarily for the worse , but they changed to the point when they didn't need me in their life . I felt the same way about some of my friends . Loosing a friend to that change is always painfull .

But i read this amazing fwd once .( i hate fwds ....but it was one of the best) . It was a poetry , that said how we go along our life's path meeting new people , making close bonds and friendships .We are in a way paying our dues and also meeting our need for the moment for that particular sort of friendship . Often the need for such a friendship expires, and you move on to make new friends . But you seem to carry the sweet memory fo that old friendship for ever.
Aparna_BD IF-Dazzler
Aparna_BD
Aparna_BD

Joined: 01 July 2005
Posts: 4924

Posted: 22 March 2006 at 4:06pm | IP Logged
Priya you are talking about the growing pains sweetie . Like LT said every persons evolution is inevitable . Friendships go through changes . Your circumstances , situations change . You are in school , you will move to college , post grad may be , work , marriage , kids !! These will all be milestones in your life .Each time you reach a milestone you will realise you yourself have changed .

Maybe you yourself can't detect that subtle change , but another friend will be able to tell you that you seem different .

Also as far as friendships go , i too have gone through a lot of pain when i felt friends changed . Not neccesarily for the worse , but they changed to the point when they didn't need me in their life . I felt the same way about some of my friends . Loosing a friend to that change is always painfull .

But i read this amazing fwd once .( i hate fwds ....but it was one of the best) . It was a poetry , that said how we go along our life's path meeting new people , making close bonds and friendships .We are in a way paying our dues and also meeting our need for the moment for that particular sort of friendship . Often the need for such a friendship expires, and you move on to make new friends . But you seem to carry the sweet memory fo that old friendship for ever.
sowmyaa IF-Dazzler
sowmyaa
sowmyaa

Joined: 23 August 2004
Posts: 3658

Posted: 22 March 2006 at 5:02pm | IP Logged
I agree with Aparna. Aparna, loved the last lines. Very truely said and beautiful. You know someone once told me this when I was in school. That sometimes life is like a blackboard (i could only relate to blackboard at that time LOL ) if you need to add more things you need to delete some things to write more. Some things in life has bitter taste, but its all growing up pains like Aparna said. And these milestones you will be changed yourself for better or worst. I think I don't have anything to add Aparna said it all.
eZ Senior Member
eZ
eZ

Joined: 22 March 2006
Posts: 231

Posted: 22 March 2006 at 8:59pm | IP Logged
Similar things happend to me priya... i used to chill with some  friends in school everyday... once i moved away.. we started talking less and less and the relationship just deteriorated. I guess the root of the problem was we didnt see each other as much anymore and none of us put effort to keep the relationship in tact. Most of the time i spend with my new friends and they spent time with friends in their own school. I still talk to them occasinally but its not the same. The occasional hi, how r u; time to time. As loonytunes said.. u cant stop change and it can be both positive and negative depending on the person. Personally i think change is a great thing.. people usually change for the better in my eyes.

Edited by eZ - 22 March 2006 at 9:02pm
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