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Saat Phere (Saath Phere)

MAIKA YA SASURAL?????? (Page 2)

coolsana Senior Member
coolsana
coolsana

Joined: 17 March 2006
Posts: 210

Posted: 18 March 2006 at 6:44am | IP Logged
Even I think a balancing act is necessary. but at the same time if you can't share every thing with your husband then the relation is not complete. If you guys remember when saloni was in the police station he tells her that if she had confided in him the situation could have been under control and the same thing goes for now also. if she had confided in him he would have controlled things at home and things would not have gone out of hand.

enigma6 Senior Member
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Posted: 18 March 2006 at 11:38am | IP Logged
After marriage, I personally think that a woman's best friend and confidante is her husband. But then, not always this happens, because all men are not as understanding and caring as we would like them to be. But if you are among the lucky ones and do have a supportive husband, make him your best pal and be absolutely honest with him. That way, if something "ouch" happens with your in-laws, you will always have him to help you out. Our parents love us unconditionally, we are what we are because of them, so I absolutely don't believe that after marraige they become "paraya". At the same time your in-laws are your new family and you have to come there with an open mind and heart. We should never forget, no matter how much "weird" they appear, our darling hubby is what he is, because of them. Respect and responsibility towards them should be as important as towards  your parents. I personally feel, after marriage your family is your hubby, kids, and you. Both your parents and in-laws, are extended families. You love them, respect them, share your responsibilities, but always set some boundaries. That's the secret of balancing things. You can never make and keep everyone around you happy and contended. Trying to achieve that would only result in going complete nuts yourself. In our culture, a married girl's parents are hardly ever demanding, so its much easier keeping them happy, however, more often than not, thats' not the case with the in-laws.  So you might have to work harder at it. Just be honest with yourself, the rest will slowly fall in place.

Edited by sindoorfan - 18 March 2006 at 11:43am
pink500 Goldie
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Joined: 26 May 2005
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Posted: 18 March 2006 at 3:31pm | IP Logged
that is really good advice Smile
ramas IF-Veteran Member
ramas
ramas

Joined: 03 February 2006
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Posted: 18 March 2006 at 5:56pm | IP Logged
I agree that one should pay more attention to sasural. But I still disagree that one should share everything with husband. Not when you have husband who tells evrything to your in laws and your secrets come back to haunt you. I donot think men share everything. Then why should they expect you tell them everything. In most cases this is the fact. May be very few lucky ones have their husband on their side when they have to choose between their family and wife .Most men think nails are always seperate from fingrers. Believe me this is years of experience and experience of lots of friends. This is typical indian male mentality. Regardless of what part of world you live in and how much education you have.
Janki75 Groupbie
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Joined: 14 February 2006
Posts: 145

Posted: 18 March 2006 at 10:32pm | IP Logged
Ramas you are so right, This topic in Saat Phere is very realistic. Yes we feel Saloni should have told Nahar everything right away but in the "real world" if we were in Saloni's shoes, we'd have waited too- till it calmed down, we found a guy (neel) to marry the sister etc. and when the sasural wants the same thing (neel to marry rewa)- you can't just say "oh wait- I just arranged his wedding with my pregnant sister." We hope to find a husband to share problems with but there are times when you think- if I share this with him- will he a- accept it and support me, b- tell his family or c- hold it against me later on?- Not every real husband is like Nahar on TV unfortunely, you sometimes have to pick and choose if u should share you maiyka secrets or problems.
enigma6 Senior Member
enigma6
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Joined: 03 September 2005
Posts: 465

Posted: 18 March 2006 at 11:20pm | IP Logged
Guys, after reading some of your points, I definitely feel utterly blessed! Sorry friends, when I said a wife should be totally honest with her husband, I was assuming that the husband in question is as good and as agreeable as Nahar. But ofcourse that always does not happen. I am just blessed to have hubby like that. Touch wood! I had my share of in-law problems, but with his help and support, and ofcourse trust, things are so much better now. Ofcourse, its a continuous process. I mean I feel that all our life we have to work towards keeping a nice relation alive with our in-laws. And its much much much easier with your husband as your friend. And before anyone thinks I am a newly married "coloured Vision" girl, let me tell you we have a two yr. old daughter, and have been married for 5 yrs. now. So whatever I said was from experience.
blueash IF-Rockerz
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Joined: 16 August 2005
Posts: 5871

Posted: 19 March 2006 at 9:16pm | IP Logged

Originally posted by sindoorfan

After marriage, I personally think that a woman's best friend and confidante is her husband. But then, not always this happens, because all men are not as understanding and caring as we would like them to be. But if you are among the lucky ones and do have a supportive husband, make him your best pal and be absolutely honest with him. That way, if something "ouch" happens with your in-laws, you will always have him to help you out. Our parents love us unconditionally, we are what we are because of them, so I absolutely don't believe that after marraige they become "paraya". At the same time your in-laws are your new family and you have to come there with an open mind and heart. We should never forget, no matter how much "weird" they appear, our darling hubby is what he is, because of them. Respect and responsibility towards them should be as important as towards  your parents. I personally feel, after marriage your family is your hubby, kids, and you. Both your parents and in-laws, are extended families. You love them, respect them, share your responsibilities, but always set some boundaries. That's the secret of balancing things. You can never make and keep everyone around you happy and contended. Trying to achieve that would only result in going complete nuts yourself. In our culture, a married girl's parents are hardly ever demanding, so its much easier keeping them happy, however, more often than not, thats' not the case with the in-laws.  So you might have to work harder at it. Just be honest with yourself, the rest will slowly fall in place.

 

 

So true i totally agree with u

Kadwiphool Senior Member
Kadwiphool
Kadwiphool

Joined: 19 January 2006
Posts: 768

Posted: 19 March 2006 at 9:41pm | IP Logged
wow awesome points everyone!! Clap this is basically what i wanted to know when i started this topic... very insightful! for all who have supportive/unsupportive husbands! congrats to saat phere for bringing such a good/controversial point up!! Clap

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