Debate Mansion

India-Forums

   
Debate Mansion
Debate Mansion

Why do we look down upon "ghar jamai"?

Aparna_BD IF-Dazzler
Aparna_BD
Aparna_BD

Joined: 01 July 2005
Posts: 4924

Posted: 16 March 2006 at 4:33pm | IP Logged
The term "ghar Jamai" is a term that brings on interesting thought and views from people . Most people view a ghar Jamai ( a man living in his in -law house) as a looser!! They feel this man has no self respect and is happy to live with his wife's family. But they not just accept but feel its right for a daughter - in law to move in with her husbands parents.

Is it justified to think this way about a man who lives with his in-law ???? If no , why not ?

heart girl IF-Sizzlerz
heart girl
heart girl

Joined: 17 July 2005
Posts: 10713

Posted: 16 March 2006 at 5:18pm | IP Logged
Ummm... Well its not just the society who thinks that way but also the man HIMSELF thinks that way. He thinks of himself as a useless person who cant even provide a house to his own family. I think it depends on the family the person is living wid and the person himself. When the girl marries she goes to his husbands house and the husband becomes responsible for everything from that point of time..Thatz the way it was from so many yrs and thatz teh way it is. There are always some reasons to y a person husband lives in his wifez familyz house..the question can only b anserwed lookin at the situtaion. If a loses his house while gambling or sumthing and his wifez parentz let him live in thier house coz they don want thier daughter to live on streets..in that case we can say that that person is a LOOSER
Vicky.Bhatia Newbie
Vicky.Bhatia
Vicky.Bhatia

Joined: 17 March 2006
Posts: 1

Posted: 17 March 2006 at 1:16am | IP Logged
depends on circusmtances, somebody may like it and do it out of own choice, on someone it may be forced.
Aparna_BD IF-Dazzler
Aparna_BD
Aparna_BD

Joined: 01 July 2005
Posts: 4924

Posted: 17 March 2006 at 6:32am | IP Logged
You know guys , i know at least 3 people closely related to me who are ghar- jamai's and it seems like there never is/was an issue.Out of the 3 , 2 are doing fine in their job and even contributing to running the household(i think )
But we all still gossiped occasionally and made remarks behind the back.
So why do we care ? Is it right to think of them as loosers while they don't ? I certainly am not sure about this !!!! I certainly don't feel impressed with ghar Jamais but do wonder is it right for me to think of them negatively.
TiN24 Goldie
TiN24
TiN24

Joined: 21 September 2004
Posts: 1865

Posted: 17 March 2006 at 7:24pm | IP Logged
The infamous sterotype that the Man (or husband) should work and bring in the household income and settle down in his own house on his own two feet while the Woman (or wife) stay at home, raise the children and maintain the household is the reason why "ghar jamai" is looked at as a negative thing.

Because this is one of the many many many rules and regulations society has set out for us, if a husband stays at his wife's house (or in-laws) he's looked at as a "free-loader".

I guess a ghar jamai is bad cause usually its the girl (wife) who has to leave her home and go to her husband's home where she'll make that into her own home, etc etc. So if the opposite happens, its like you've breaken the oh-so-strict rules of society. (I'm speaking very sacrastically here).

Aparna...I agree with you. I personally am not too fond of having my husband (when I get one LOL ) to be living with my parents and family. But am I a bad person to think like that? I mean, I have nothing against husbands that live in their in-laws as long as they are contributing to the household and aren't getting everything on a silver platter for them for free. But I guess to each is own.

Plus, why is it that when the daughter is living with her husband in her own house with her parents we still manage to criticize? I mean look at Saat Phere and Piya Ka Ghar. Why do get so upset when we see that Aditi from SP and Jayanti from PKG are living at home instead of their inlaws?

There's no pleasing anyone. Confused
Aparna_BD IF-Dazzler
Aparna_BD
Aparna_BD

Joined: 01 July 2005
Posts: 4924

Posted: 17 March 2006 at 7:35pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by TiN24


Plus, why is it that when the daughter is living with her husband in her own house with her parents we still manage to criticize? I mean look at Saat Phere and Piya Ka Ghar. Why do get so upset when we see that Aditi from SP and Jayanti from PKG are living at home instead of their inlaws?

There's no pleasing anyone. Confused


I was thinking of Saat Phere and Piya ka ghar too when i made the post. Also in JJKN , Armaan moved into Jassi's house and felt awfull . Although it does seem as per serials that girls after they marry and live with their parents do nothing but make trouble for her brother and Bhabhis(especially) . I don't think such is the case in real life .
rebelqueen Senior Member
rebelqueen
rebelqueen

Joined: 15 November 2005
Posts: 575

Posted: 18 March 2006 at 2:15am | IP Logged
man is supposed 2 b responsible and capable of looking after his family-he has 2 provide 4 his family-
so if he's living in his in-laws house-he's looked down upon coz he's not being able 2 fulfill his responsibilities..
but a woman's place is unfortunately.....confined 2 the 4 walls of the house-so if she goes to her in-laws place-it's ok coz she's dependent
hazelgirl IF-Rockerz
hazelgirl
hazelgirl

Joined: 25 June 2005
Posts: 5745

Posted: 18 March 2006 at 5:36am | IP Logged
well..when the thought of ghar jamai comes...first thing that strikes the society is that the man is dependant on others or he is not a so called MAN .
i feel after marriage..the couple shud live separately...no one living in anbody's parents house and hence no issues from any sideTongue
 


Edited by hazelgirl - 18 March 2006 at 5:39am

Go to top

Related Topics

  Topics Author Replies Views Last Post
once upon a time, we WERE friends

2

Author: glamritz   Replies: 15   Views: 1494

glamritz 15 1494 04 August 2009 at 4:12am by k-ekta fan
Indian Hockey down the drains???

2 3

Author: Leo   Replies: 16   Views: 1568

Leo 16 1568 12 August 2007 at 12:33am by -Believe-
Ghar Aaya Dushman Bhi Mehmaan

2

Author: JhoomBJhoom   Replies: 15   Views: 851

JhoomBJhoom 15 851 18 July 2007 at 4:03am by -Believe-
**Are poor people down tO earth**

Author: Lovers Ka Love   Replies: 0   Views: 493

Lovers Ka Love 0 493 19 June 2007 at 2:57pm by Lovers Ka Love
Indian board cracks down on players!

2 3 4 5 6 7 ... 13 14

Author: Aanandaa   Replies: 111   Views: 4595

Aanandaa 111 4595 09 April 2007 at 4:54pm by mermaid_QT

Forum Quick Jump

Forum Category / Channels
Forums

Disclaimer: All Logos and Pictures of various Channels, Shows, Artistes, Media Houses, Companies, Brands etc. belong to their respective owners, and are used to merely visually identify the Channels, Shows, Companies, Brands, etc. to the viewer. Incase of any issue please contact the webmaster.

Popular Channels :
Star Plus | Zee TV | Sony TV | Colors TV | SAB TV | Life OK

Quick Links :
Top 100 TV Celebrities | Top 100 Bollywood Celebs | About Us | Contact Us | Advertise | Forum Index