Finally Gopi could be
discharged from the hospital. Ahem had been waiting for this for ages. He had visited
her everyday at least twice once in the morning on his way to work and once in
the evening on his way home. But he had visited her also often in between for
lunch or when he was going or coming from an out of office appointment. She had
been very pale at the beginning and hadn't known what happen right before her
accident. But soon the memories came back to her. Not once had she complained
about anything. Not once had she blamed him for leaving her alone to deal with
the goons. Not once. 'Why isn't she asking me why I didn't keep my promise? Why
isn't she demanding to know why I didn't keep her save as I have sworn? Why is
she staying quiet?' he had wondered silently over and over again since the day
she had first opened her eyes again after the operation. The only thing he
could think about has been Gopi. Gopi and Gopi again. He always worried if she
was feeling okay, if she was cared for properly and if her needs were
fulfilled. Even through Ahem knew that either his mother or his Kaki were at
the hospital all the time he couldn't stop worrying. But not any longer. He had
arranged with his Kaka and Jigar that he would be working from home for the
next few weeks so that he could look after his wife himself. 'It is my duty after
all. She is my wife and it is my fault that she got hurt. I sent her alone into
the lion's den and then told her to go by herself to free Rashi. I am the
reason that she got hurt then it should be me, who takes care of her!!' Mr. Ahem
Modi decided.
He picked Gopi up from the hospital. She only had a small bag to take because
his mum had packed everything she didn't need anymore and had taken it home
with her yesterday evening. Gopi was already waiting for him. She sat on her
bed and was watching the door when he came in the room. Slowly she nodded her head
and joint her hands to greet him. "Jai shri Krishna Ahemji" "Jai
shri Krishna" ahem replied. Then Gopi let her head sink again and tried
not to look at Ahem. Ahem found this new habit of her irritating. In fact he
hadn't seen her smile at him at all since the accident. 'She smiles at my mum
and kaki. She also sometimes smiles her shy smile when Jigar comes and she even
smiled at this ... at her aunt and was overjoyed to see Rashi. But as soon as
she sees me her smile vanishes and she looks reserved and careful. Why is that
so?' This was another problem he was constantly thinking about and he was
determined to find out today. He had only stayed quiet about it because the
doctors told him to avoid stressing her so soon after the operation. But now
enough time has passed. A sister and Dr. Patel came in the room to give ahem
last instructions on the care of his wife and then he could take her home.
Again there was only silence from her during the whole drive home and even
after they reached there she didn't open her mouth at first. She just looked
around confused properly wondering where everyone is. But Ahem was not
surprised that nobody came out to get Gopi. He had told them that he wouldn't
bring her till later in the afternoon. His mum and kaki were at the mandir now
getting prasad and blessed water for gopi and his kaka and Jigar were at the
office even his dad had gone to an appointment, because he, Ahem Modi, had convinced
them to use the morning till he got Gopi home. So know he got her for himself
for a short while which hopefully was enough time to get her to tell him what
was wrong.
Carefully he helped her into the wheelchair and then slowly pushed her to the
front door he unlocked and opened it. Now Gopi got even more confused judging
from her expression but still she didn't open her mouth to ask him were
everyone was. No as soon as she saw him looking at her face she dropped her head
and starred at her hands. Heaving a sigh he stepped behind her and pushed the
wheelchair through the door. Then he pushed her first to the mandir. He knew
how religious she was and therefore thought that she would surely want to pray
first. And he was right as soon as they reached the mandir Gopi joint her hands
in a silent prayer. Even ahem joint his hands and prayed yet another
thanksgiving prayer (is that the right word?) to god for saving Gopi's life.
After she had finished and leaned back in the wheelchair again Ahem pushed her
in the direction of the stairs.
Gopi was feeling uncomfortable. She was trying so hard to stay away from Ahemji
and not getting her hopes up again. At first when she opened her eyes to see
him leaning over her after the operation she had been so happy but not been
able to do anything to express her feelings then because of the medication and
pains from the operation. 'Thank you khanaji for that. I would have made an
idiot out of myself and made Ahemji hate me again for sure'. She had seen so
much concern in his eyes and had though that he might have come to love her
after all. But her hopes were crashed very soon. She had been in and out of conscious
for a while sometimes hearing the conversations going on in the room and
sometimes she just heard noises without making sense out of it. But then she
had heard him say that the only reason he comes so often to visit her and is
worried for her is because it is his duty and because he feels responsible for
her injuries. 'Khanaji I don't want to trouble him. Please make him understand
that it is not his duty to look out for me that I am going to be fine on
myself. If he believes it his duty then I don't want him to trouble himself'
her silent prayer went on, on their way to the stairs.
As she saw the stairs she snapped out of her stupor. 'How am I supposed to get
upstairs? I can't walk even 10 meters let alone all these stairs' gopi was
panicking inside. Ahem saw her looking worriedly at the stairs and then at her
legs and again at the stairs. 'What is she worrying about? She can't believe
that I expect her to walk by herself upstairs, can she?' Ahem was thinking and
came to the conclusion that she properly is. This thought made him angry but he
couldn't really say why that was. However he didn't waver long. He went around
the wheelchair and then bent down to carefully pick gopi up in his arms. He
liked her first reaction to this. Her eyes got wide and her breathing faltered.
'What is he doing? Oh Khanaji protect my
heart. I can't make the same mistake again. I broke my heart to often by
building sandcastles in the sky. I can't do that again.' Gopi was thinking and
tried her level best not to just sink back and enjoy the feeling. Ahem carried
her slowly and carefully up the stairs and then into their room where he put
her on the bed carefully. Gopi again didn't speak and only pressed a small
thank you out between her tightly shut lips without looking at his face. Ahem
started to get really irritated with this behaviour of her. But he still didn't
say anything. He told her to stay there while he got the bag and some water for
her.
Ahem was set on asking her just that day but he never got around to it. In the
beginning he was waiting for her to relax a little around him again but she
didn't and before he could decide to ask her the family came back. Of course
his mother was spitting mad, because he didn't inform her that Gopi was already
at home and then Kokila and Hetal took over caring for Gopi until he half
kicked them out late at night so that he and Gopi could get some sleep. And
then the next days there was no opportunity to ask her either. She was still
silent and reserved around him and this attitude was driving him into a rage.
But he didn't want to shout at her and he didn't trust himself at the time to
stay calm while asking her about it.
While taking care of her he noticed how brave she was and how unwilling to make
others worry and pamper her. Gopi never complained or said if she was in pain. When
he dressed her wounds and accidently was a little too rough and hurt her she
never made a noise or twitch. She was always trying to give him and everyone
else the impression that there was no need to worry about her but there was.
She had lost a lot of weight due to the strain of the healing process and she
was not eating properly. Always saying that she wasn't hungry and only eating a
little when he or his mum made her eat. He was still worried for her and
thought about her every minute of the day. 'But this can't be because I am
still feeling guilty can it?' he wondered. Day by day he was more intrigued by
her calmness and bravery and was trying without realising to get closer to her
day by day. But as much as he tried to close the distance between them Gopi
tried to keep them apart not wanting to get hurt yet again.
And so the two were trying to move in the opposite direction in their
relationship. Ahem tried to get closer to her by asking her about her past, her
parents and what she liked but she was only answering with short replies which
carried no meaning or context. Both of them getting frustrated with the other.
'Why can't he leave me alone? He doesn't love me so why is he so caring towards
me? Doesn't he know that this tears my heart into shreds?' Gopi was wondering
while fighting back tears. 'Why can't she answer me in one whole sentence? Is
she still not used to my presence?' ahem was on the other hand thinking. And so
their days went by until Ahem had had enough one day.
Gopi had just given him once more an evasive answer to a simple question, which
finally made ahem snap. "Why are you not talking to me properly Gopi? What
is your problem? Since you have woken up from the operation you have not looked
at me, smiled at me or talked to me in any decent way!! So know I want to know
why and you better giving me a proper answer this time!!" Ahem was
shouting at her as they were alone in their room. Gopi looked shocked and
looked him in the eyes for the first time but then looked again away not
answering him. Now Ahem really had enough he went over to her and squatted down
in front of her. He used his right hand to grab her chin and move her head up
and towards him so that she had to look him in the eyes. "Answer me
Gopi" he ordered her. Now Gopi couldn't hold in all her build up pains.
Tears were flowing freely down her cheeks and she quietly started to sob.
Shocked to see her reaction ahem opened his mouth to tell her that it is okay
and she didn't need to answer him when he decided against it. This situation
had to be cleared now. They couldn't go on like this. "Tell me" he
repeated but in a softer way now.
"Woh .. I .. I can't take it anymore Ahemji", Gopi said and made with
this Ahem's heart cry out in pain. "What do you mean?" he asked
calmly as if not to let his inner emotions be discovered by her. "I can't
let my heart be broken by you again Ahemji" she stammered on "Its
better to stay away from you. Please understand." Shock took over Ahem's
senses. 'She is trying to stay away from me because she loves me and doesn't
want her heart to be broken again!!' Ahem understood now. 'But will I break her
heart again? Haven't her initial words broken my heart, because I thought she
wanted to leave be, because she couldn't live with me any longer?' he thought.
Until the answer came to him. No he wouldn't break her heart again because she
had become his heart. Slowly and quietly she had replaced the hatred he once
felt for her with love and care. Now he understood that he might have started
out taking care of her because of guilt and a sense of duty but that these
feelings had changed soon after and that he had done it to be close to her and
to make her happy. And that was the reason that he has been so frustrated with
her indifference, because he wanted her to smile and be happy.
"Gopi listen to me I will not do that again. I will not break your heart
again because your heart is my heart and my heart is yours. Breaking one would
mean to break the other as well and I will never do that. Please stay with
me" ahem told her with all the love he posses. Gopi could only stare at
him for a minute with wide open beautiful brown eyes. Then she started to cry
again and let her head sink on his shoulder. Carefully Ahem put his arms around
her fragile body and pulled her closer to him. It was going to take some days
for both of them to get used to this new situation, relationship and life all
filled with love and affection. It was a new beginning for both of them now truly
starting a live together.
