Posted: 13 March 2006 at 11:08am | IP Logged
Anurag. He has played father five times- to prem1, to komolika's unborn
child, to sneha, to prem2, to shravan. His behaviour each time has been
interesting. When prerna 'gave' prem1 to him, after her marriage to
bajaj, he 'took' him because he was so lonely and prem was his sole
support for life. But, did he spare a thought about prerna? What she
would go through without prem? No. I don't think he ever offered to
return prem back to prerna. In fact, when prerna threatened to take
prem back, he was scared to death! The idea of looking at a child as a
'support stick', rather than as 'responsibility' is in congruence with
anurag. He also looks at his women as 'support sticks' rather than
'responsibilities' . This is in stark contrast with a bajaj or a mihir
for whom, his kids n his wife are essentially 'commitments' and
'responsibilities'. let's see how prem1's death affected prerna, bajaj
and anurag. For prerna and bajaj, it was a huge shock- they were almost
there to save that child, with the bag of money..had anurag not called
police, prerna-bajaj would have saved prem, not to lose him ever
again...but 1 mistake on anurag's part...and it was all over. this
death changed bajaj...made him much more caring, sensitive and
family-oriented person. bajaj-prerna were so deeply affected by a sense
of loss...that it took them 8 yrs to give words to their hidden
feelings about each other. After prem's death. RishabhPrerna both just became
silent,quiet,celibate and focused on raising their 4 kids.
and what happened to anurag? barely a month after his son's death, he
married aparna. a month from there, he was enjoying a full-fledged
honeymoon, enjoying love-making with his brand new wife, even
forgetting the close the door...what a great father huh...just lost his son with one woman....got busy making love to another woman...all that is so 'yuck' and makes him
such a disgusting yucky person...
Interestingly, anurag never mourned for his unborn child with komolika, while he keeps mourning for prem till today! Was
it because prem was his 'link' with prerna, and he wants that link to
preserve. But since similar link with komolika was broken, he seems
rather happy about it than sad. This
behaviour of differentiating between his children on the basis of who
their mother is, makes anurag the worst of fathers out there!
and i can't help but admire MIHIR...though he HATES mandira from the
core of his existence, that hatred doesn't affect his relationship with
Karan. And THAT, makes mihir a great father....
Now the classic case with sneha! This is again the 'worst of worst'
scenario. Till the moment she wasn't his 'blood' he didnt care whether
she lived or died. He made her cry, behave cruelly with her. (remember
the way he made her cry on mohini's birthday...like prerna had said-
bacchi ke parents se dushmani hai to ek choti si bacchi pe kyun nikaal
rahe ho?) anurag held that innocent kid responsible for her parents'
behaviour. BEING IDEAL FATHER IS NOT ABOUT LOVING JUST UR OWN BLOOD, IT
IS ALSO ABOUT CARING FOR AND BEING NICE TO ALL THE KIDS AROUND
YOU...WHETHER THEY ARE THE STREET-ORPHANS OR UR NEICES'S FRIENDS.
and then, the moment she became 'his blood', he started pining for her.
even animals, look after other animals' offsprings with love. Even
animals don't have the attitude - 'i'll look after this one only if
it's my 'blood'. A dog in my neighbourhood took care of a puppy, when
that puppy's mom died....(ok now lets not link this to Kandy floss plz,
i am just giving a general example)
anurag stoops lower than animals in this regard. he kept reaching out
to sneha, as much as possible, taking full advantage of bajaj's
sympathy, as if he needed to make his presence felt. it looked as if he
was constantly in some competition with bajaj..and losing and getting
frustrated. and the 20 yrs that he spent away from sneha, it was told
to him by prerna because of his own actions- she certainly didn't want
any of his wives kidnapping sneha as well!
Now, he seems rather cool with prerna naming udi as 'prem prerna
sharma' rather than 'prem anurag basu'. he also seems less emotional or
possessive about prem, than he has been about sneha. because he knows
that this time he has no competition. sneha was considered bajaj's
daughter. anurag has been extremely jealous of bajaj always.
but bajaj's relationship with udi is still not well-developed. they
haven't really bonded, though bajaj feels paternal care for prem-more
becoz somehow...though prem is "supposed to be" anu's son, is almost a
mirror image of the younger bajaj- the same arrogance, the same
selfishness, the same cold-blooded, cool-headed attitude, the same
disregard for others feelings. i find him more and more like bajaj.
initially, bajaj kept udi alive only for prerna's sake. but that's
it. Prerna has to fight with aparna to get status as udi's mom. But
udi has no other father figure in his life. As and when he improves, he
is going to accept anurag as his sole father, because he has no other
option! This time , bajaj is not playing the kind of role that he
played earlier, and hence, anurag is so cool about it. He knows that he
has no competition this time.
I cannot help but compare this with bajaj, who believes in giving love
n care to his kids, rather than having any 'rights' on them.
Anurag's obsession with blood also came into light during udi Vs tushar
case. till the moment udi was not his 'blood' anurag was about to kill
him. That time he didnt spare a thought that udi too was smone else's
son. The moment udi becomes his 'blood', he backs out from his
'promise' to bajaj to punish tushar's killer. 'blood' comes above
everything. kisi aur ka beta hai, to mar jaaye, mujhe kya karna
hai...mera beta hai, to kuch bhi kare, main usko court mein
bachaunga.apni ma se zooth bulwaunga. Is fatherhood only about loving
ur blood, or is it something bigger?
Lastly, anurag looked after shravan because he was indebted to debu,
for saving his life n dying in the process. but he could never really
consider shravan his 'son'. He wanted to give all his property to
sneha, to prove to prerna and sneha how much he loves her. That time,
he didn't think - if I give EVERYTHING to sneha, what'll be left for
Even today, he STILL cries for prem1, and sneha, but is least bothered
about shravan. Logically speaking, his involvement and attachment
should have been maximum with shravan, as they lived together for
years. But it is the least, and his emotions for his 'blood' is the
maximum, though he hasnt lived with sneha or prem. prerna at least
admitted that she was guilty of neglecting her family for the sake of
udi, but anurag doesn't even realize all this.
On the contrary, Mihir has always been a commited father. Though Karan
was born when Mandira had put drugs in his drink and taken advantage of
him, he gave Karan his name- he risked his marriage, his reputation but
gave karan his right. Anurag didn't have daring to give his name to any
of his illegitimate kids.
Mihir has never distinguished between his biological kids and Harsh-
his wife's sister's son and saahil- his nephew. In fact, most of us
don't even recall that Harsh's father isn't Mihir. today saahil and his
wife ganga call mihir as mihir-papa, because he has showed the
commitment and paternal affection that is always there-rock solid. in
fact, we even tend to forget that saahil is his nephew, not son.
Anurag, on the other hand, always prefers prem1,2, and sneha over
when every1 else suspected tulsi of having EMA (when harsh's blood
didn't match with mihir's), mihir (and ba) were the two people who
stood up and said "-NO she is not that type of a woman. there must be a
mistake." While there was solid proof in terms ofthe medical reports,
mihir's feelings for tulsi and harsh didn't change- she was his wife,
he was his son, that's all. Now compare this with anurag...who went
blindly by komolika's planted evidence.
Mihir had to tell the truth in the court, about tulsi killing ansh. The
biggest pain mihir can put himself was- to be away from his wife who he
loved the most. But he did that...in order to keep his commitment to
his dead son.
as the patriarch of the Virani family, mihir is always seen leading his
sons from the front- sweating it out in the office, telling them to run
business 'as usual' regardless of personal matters. THAT's the ideal
father- who can support and lead his kids financially and
business-wise. now lets not get started on how pathetically stupid
anurag is in business, and now he keeps losing his business to the
likes of bajaj!
When mihir found out that tulsi and karan-saahil were bonding,his
natural reaction was to bond with gomzi-ansh-shobha more, in order to
maintain the balance. he ensures that between him and tulsi, all their
kids get equal attention. if karan is tulsi's laadla, gomzi will always remain mihir's 'gautam beta'
Above all, like I have said again and again, a father - a GOOD IDEAL
father, has to play fair, be able to give his NAME to his kid no matter
what, not distinguish between biological and adopted kids, be at times
strict with his sons (which a sissy like anurag can never be- he is too
elastic for that...for being tough that is), and has to be the ROCK of
support for his kids, not looking at his kids as his anchors...
would u like ur kids to have a father who keeps crying and looks at
them as his 'support sticks'...or a father ur kids can look up to and
seek support and guidance from.
Edited by tulip - 13 March 2006 at 11:25am