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Living through others! (Page 2)

Aparna_BD IF-Dazzler
Aparna_BD
Aparna_BD

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Posted: 12 March 2006 at 4:10pm | IP Logged
Also Soumya i wanted to add . These days we aren't stuck with a career for our life . So if your cousin wants to switch a career and then study something different even at 30 -35 or older he can !! People are doing so with ease. But if his parents had stopped him from pursuing his music , he would have begrudged them for ever !!

sabz_m Goldie
sabz_m
sabz_m

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Posted: 12 March 2006 at 7:28pm | IP Logged
i think its ok for parents to advise and guide their children but they shouldn't impose or force them to b somethin they r not!! i really h8 when parents to that, sumtimes they cannot except the fact that mayb their kid is no academic but they should realise that mayb their kid has some other talent or is good at somethin else!!!

parents hav the duty to warn their children n weight out the pros and cons of things with them n come to decision mutually, esp when kids r older like over 16 decisions shouldn't b one sided!!! its tru sumtimes parents push their kids too much and this can hav a bad affect on kids as they will do wat their parents want but how long will they do that for???/ then they will burst out n results can b bad!!! i dunno wat i jus wrote hope it makes sense lol...my ideas n views r all over the place!!!!

i agree wit Jav...thanx for posting this topic!!!! Clap
sowmyaa IF-Dazzler
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Posted: 13 March 2006 at 5:52am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Aparna_BD

Also Soumya i wanted to add . These days we aren't stuck with a career for our life . So if your cousin wants to switch a career and then study something different even at 30 -35 or older he can !! People are doing so with ease. But if his parents had stopped him from pursuing his music , he would have begrudged them for ever !!


Aparna, these things are very easy to say and to hear it sound ideal. However, in practical life when you have a wife and kids to support I think you should use your brain and guidance to pursue your career whatever is hot in market. Music can be kept as hobby. It is very hard to change your career specially in India. In US it is very easy to change the career 'coz even though you do basic neccessity in US is affordable. In India if you start changing career at age of 35 it's not that easy really.

Also, I am not saying parents to "impose" their kids. They could talk to them and probably get a career counceling or talk to professor or someone knowledgeable. As for me at age of 16 I had a hype that oh Dr. is good, Eng. is good, wow actors are so fascinating but what gives you better life and what is your closest interest was not that mature as I am at this age. I think giving right direction and taking interest in children't activities and their school cariculum could help them mold in that direction when they are young.

Also, I have seen sometimes somd kids are not confident enough that they can pursue this....like zara said they think they are not too good with brain to study particular subject. Once a president of engineering firm told "I can make Engineer our of Monkey, but I can't make good human out of man" i agree 'coz if you work hard you can achieve that career. It is matter that some have to work hard some have to work little and some have to really really work hard.

Edited by sowmyaa - 13 March 2006 at 5:54am
Aparna_BD IF-Dazzler
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Posted: 13 March 2006 at 7:06am | IP Logged
Originally posted by sowmyaa


Aparna, these things are very easy to say and to hear it sound ideal. However, in practical life when you have a wife and kids to support I think you should use your brain and guidance to pursue your career whatever is hot in market. Music can be kept as hobby. It is very hard to change your career specially in India. In US it is very easy to change the career 'coz even though you do basic neccessity in US is affordable. In India if you start changing career at age of 35 it's not that easy really.


No Soumya people are changing their proffesion in later life even in India . My husband switched from a fairly well paying Interior designing proffesion to one of sales at 29 because that payed much better .
 I switched from a sales job to a teacher job at 27 !! Although we didn't have kids to support , but we had each others responsibility so one of us had to be working while the other one had switched careers .  Yes , with a kid it becomes harder , as in one earning member (say your Cousins wife) should be earning well enough to support an adult and a child in this case.
One of our friends wrapped up his business and moved with his wife and infant to Canada to start a life .He had saving that would last him for 1 year.

Like us i know of people my age group who have taken sabbatical at 30 or so .
So Soumya its happening these days among young proffesionals like us in India !


Originally posted by sowmyaa


Also, I am not saying parents to "impose" their kids. They could talk to them and probably get a career counceling or talk to professor or someone knowledgeable. As for me at age of 16 I had a hype that oh Dr. is good, Eng. is good, wow actors are so fascinating but what gives you better life and what is your closest interest was not that mature as I am at this age. I think giving right direction and taking interest in children't activities and their school cariculum could help them mold in that direction when they are young.

Yes i agree with you , what we are debating about are the pushy parents that want to live their dream through a child by making him pursue careers that have a  great reputation , like Engineering , Doctor ,MBA etc !

I do feel kids that age could attend career fairs organised by school or some other Institutes . Also parents could just talk about pros and cons .

Originally posted by sowmyaa


Also, I have seen sometimes somd kids are not confident enough that they can pursue this....like zara said they think they are not too good with brain to study particular subject. Once a president of engineering firm told "I can make Engineer our of Monkey, but I can't make good human out of man" i agree 'coz if you work hard you can achieve that career. It is matter that some have to work hard some have to work little and some have to really really work hard.

Thats where teachers and parents advise comes in . See if a kid is confused .............then he surely needs help for a decision to be made .
But if he knows Interior design is the career for him and his parents tell him that Interior design doesn't pay enough and he should take something that pays better . (this was my hubby's case too) . Its fine to show your kid the pros and cons ........great . But stop him from pursuing his dream job isn't fair . I know my hubby would have held a grudge for ever if his parents had been adamant and not allowed him to take his career path .

In India we have a strong family structure and our parents don't allow and let us even fall and get up and suceed. They hold the childrens hand till death does "em apart !!
While in the U.S kids at 16 grow up and become far more independant than even kids in their 30's living with their parents .

Soumya its o.k to make career choices and discover .............although i agree the older you get ............tougher it it !! But till 1st 10 years of your working life you can switch careers !!


Edited by Aparna_BD - 13 March 2006 at 7:10am
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Posted: 13 March 2006 at 2:05pm | IP Logged
lolz sowmya di and aparna di....keep up da discussion LOL
RandomSquared IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 17 March 2006 at 10:19am | IP Logged
Well..like i dun think its wrong for our parents to see dreams for us. Or even for them to want us to fulfil a dream of theirs. They fulfill every want, every dream we have, y cant we try and fulfil theirs? but if wut they want u to do is like something u hate, then yes u can tell them im sry, but i dun want to. But if you dun want anything special for urself, then its not bad for ur parents to want something special for u. My want to b a lawyer, but my parents want me to be a doctor, i rather be a doctor and noe i've made my parents happy, but dats how i am
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