Joined: 16 July 2011
Joined: 16 July 2011
Joined: 16 July 2011
Joined: 16 July 2011
When I woke up, finding myself in his warm arms, I jerked back, careful enough that he didn't break his slumber. I didn't dream the night before, or should I say I didn't hallucinate. I slid out of the bed, carefully taking each step, as my head was incredibly dizzy. I held the cabinets by the side as support, holding onto them or I would have collapsed. The head was heavy, I felt like I was drunken enough yesterday. If it wasn't for me, any girl would have done that, I mentally noted. I splashed the cold water on my face, still clutching the door with my arm.
I will try to make sure I didn't behave like what he expected me all along, I reminded my hopeful brain. The organs felt like they had stopped working, at the very thought that he might regret soon of what ever good he has done to me, no matter how less they were in number. It was painful, it pierced to think how he would react when he gets to know. My heart felt heavy, I wanted someone to whom I could open my heart, but I failed miserably each time to think of a name. I made my way to the living room, to find all the others, I had a strong urge to take a step back seeing the cruel face smirking at my way. I turned backwards immediately, only to be called Anjali in time. She pulled me to the kitchen, and showed me the huge frying pan. 'I know you haven't made some for ages, will you make it sugar free so that he can taste some?' I felt like being torn to pieces seeing her eyes. God has been unfair to her, more than me.
It was Sunday; I noted seeing him still drowsily flipping through the business channels, eyes half closed. He was oblivious to the fact someone might be peeping in seeing his casual self take over "ASR", else he would have shoved me off, uttering a few disgusts. I turned round again, for the second time I recalled, still planning to ask Anjali to do the job, asking him to join downstairs. Anjali winked at me, all I could do was to give her a faint smile, and knock the door timidly.
'Anjali asks you to breakfast,' I sternly said, my eyes scanning the deep patches of sun rays on the pool. 'I will be there in a minute,' he said, in his cold drawling manner before dashing out to the washroom. I fixed the bed, taking out his cloths out and laying them, smoothing my hair a bit, placing the dupatta securely. I took the bangles I had been unknowingly wearing from since the day before, I didn't feel like dressing a bit. For whom should I? I sternly thought, my face stiffening, remembering how stiff his voice comes out when he talks to me.
I came out of the room, before he came in the room, and hurriedly went into the kitchen, taking a look at the fried jalebis in the syrup. I poked my finger relishing the moist touch. After ages, I thought. Satisfied with the color, I carried the bowl to the table, placing it in the centre. 'Aaj tumhi sabko do bitiya..bohut acchi khusboo hain' I smiled.
I carefully picked the hot jalebis and placed them. My hand brushed with Shyam's, and a wide grin spread on his face. I placed the Jalebi and pinched him as hard as I could, taking the advantage of his arrival which made all face turn towards him. He flinched, quickly hiding his disgust beneath a smooth layer of glee, throwing me dirty looks, but I was already half way to the kitchen by then. He looked at me with annoyance and I controlled hard to stop the tears brimming up in my eyes, whom to tell about how I am feeling right now, trapped like this?
'Khusji Jalebi badi acchi hain, kyun Chotey?' I briefly glanced at him, and was left heart broken when he dropped his' and excusing himself.
He can go to ---, I stopped and retreated back to the couch, trying to have a descent conversation with Nani, ignoring the shitty gazes of him.
'Bitiya, apne dawai li?' she caressed my cheek, tucking the few curls behind. 'Ji Nani,' I lied bluntly , not meeting her eyes.
'Humko lagta hain ki apko thori der upar jake aram karna chahiye,' she suggested, pushing me upwards.
The song which fits the next part:
The whole day I spent gazing at the dark reflections on the water. I was sleepy but I was afraid to close the lashes, fearing they would be haunted once again as soon as I close them. It was a strange fear, neither could I make out the fear, nor could I get rid of it in anyway. After having done my dinner, I slowly went upto the terrace.
I was surprised to find him dere, and I turned to leave. 'Khusi,' he murmured. I stopped, still facing away from him. I didn't see when he came and placed his arms on my shoulders, and slowly trailed to my forehead. 'You shouldn't have come you know, you have fever now.' I turned to him, his eyes where a whirlpool of emotions. I faced away, fearing my stern look I had adopted would jump off the cliff any time now.
'Khusi,' he took a deep breath,'Listen I am sorry, I know I shouldn't have, behaved like that, when you were, ill,' he said, gazing into the black ones. My tears came running, I felt like loosing myself, at the very thought the next moment he would retreat back, or would disappear, and I find out it was all a beautiful dream.
'Shh...don't cry Khusi, I can't see them,' he brushed off the drops, cupping my face. 'Leave me,' I fought back the urge to lean onto him, and forget all my miseries. He looked at me shocked, and his hands dropped. 'And don't ever do that, you get that?' I crossed my fingers at the back, to hold on the shaking of my voice, and ran as fast as my feet allow, away from my dream, away from him.
Even thought it wasn't a dream, I felt like my own words came back, in the real world, only heart breaks. I was afraid of loosing him, I was afraid that he would regret, and the perfect scene was short lived.
Just when it's getting good
I slowly start to freeze
Just when it's feeling real I put my heart to sleep
It's the memory, I can see
Then this fear comes over me
that I don't meanTo push
you away from me
Why am I so afraid to crash down
And lose my heart again?I don't know, I can't see
come over me
Why am I so afraid to break down
And lose my mind again?I don't know, I can't see
What's come over me
Precap for the next part:
The pair of hand stroked the cheeks, and left me disbelieved. Tears rolled down, the barrier was broken. I lost to myself, and all I could do was to pray that it was one of my nightmares, which was back to haunt me again.
I turned, Anjali was standing at the door.
Will love to hear your thoughts about the precap.
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