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Yeh Shahar Hai Aman Ka...RTMC FF (Page 7)

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ashi.melodyfire

Senior Member

ashi.melodyfire

Joined: 02 September 2011

Posts: 771

Posted: 18 December 2011 at 9:43am | IP Logged
kya updt tha yaar Smile
awsm...kya iss FF mein ashu nhi aayega Cry

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Patrarekha

IF-Sizzlerz

Patrarekha

Joined: 14 July 2010

Posts: 13142

Posted: 18 December 2011 at 9:45am | IP Logged
ashu a sakta hai but time to lagega

ananyashera

Senior Member

ananyashera

Joined: 06 February 2011

Posts: 452

Posted: 18 December 2011 at 9:58am | IP Logged
Originally posted by arunitachandra

Originally posted by ananyashera

Smile nice update dear...

pallavi...poor girl...frightened for result...congrats to pali & sru for good results Clap...

but no suhan in this part Cry...looking forward to see first meeting of suhan & pallavi...

plz plz plz update soon...



suhan nhi tha part mein???tumne padha nhi???


sorry dear...i had read the part when u edited first time earlier till the photo of building & commented on that basis without reading again after some time & without knowing that u have edited again...

so now pallavi saw suhan & kept looking at him Embarrassed...hmmm...will there be any conversation between them?...well we will be waiting to see what happens...plz update soon...

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Patrarekha

bengalscott

Groupbie

bengalscott

Joined: 15 September 2011

Posts: 180

Posted: 18 December 2011 at 10:45am | IP Logged
The development of the story is too good. But too much narrative. Why don't you add more dialogues to make it more easy to get into? I mean give the readers a comfort zone; don't make them go through those lines you have written, rather draw the whole thing before their eyes. Visualise and paint the canvas for us with your story.

Characters are strong but they are too static. Move them, play with them. You can do it Aru. It's just a matter of creativity. Just do it...for us...or better still for me, coz I love your writing style.


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Patrarekha

Patrarekha

IF-Sizzlerz

Patrarekha

Joined: 14 July 2010

Posts: 13142

Posted: 18 December 2011 at 10:48am | IP Logged
Originally posted by bengalscott

The development of the story is too good. But too much narrative. Why don't you add more dialogues to make it more easy to get into? I mean give the readers a comfort zone; don't make them go through those lines you have written, rather draw the whole thing before their eyes. Visualise and paint the canvas for us with your story.

Characters are strong but they are too static. Move them, play with them. You can do it Aru. It's just a matter of creativity. Just do it...for us...or better still for me, coz I love your writing style.




and i love your criticism style...haha will surely consider your suggestion ..thanks for commenting

and thanks everyone for commenting and liking my ff

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bengalscott

bengalscott

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bengalscott

Joined: 15 September 2011

Posts: 180

Posted: 18 December 2011 at 10:52am | IP Logged
Originally posted by arunitachandra



and i love your criticism style...haha will surely consider your suggestion ..thanks for commenting

and thanks everyone for commenting and liking my ff


Ha ha! Criticism is not the word. I'd say it as a Critical Appreciation.

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Patrarekha

prahelika

Senior Member

prahelika

Joined: 13 December 2011

Posts: 914

Posted: 18 December 2011 at 11:41am | IP Logged
Hi di...now commenting again after ur 2nd edition of part2...thank god at least there is sumthing about suhan too Big smile ...luv d way pallavi imagined suhan as d personification of himalaya in her subconcious mind Big smile

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Patrarekha

justjayati

Goldie

justjayati

Joined: 21 September 2011

Posts: 1733

Posted: 18 December 2011 at 12:57pm | IP Logged
AWESOME PART YAAR!!! UPDT SOON...

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