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Discussion: Marriage of equals (Page 2)

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xyzee

Goldie

xyzee

Joined: 15 March 2005

Posts: 1318

Posted: 06 March 2006 at 10:41am | IP Logged
Some common interests are needed in marriage but one need not change themselves completely for their spouse. So what if Saloni can't open a bottle of champaigne? Nothing wrong with not drinking! I don't drink at all and am proud of it! I was extremely happy when Nahar says "You don't change yourself for me.. Maintain your Astitva" - I felt like applauding him! Both need to accept each other as is.. Nice that Saloni is trying to learn new things but so what if she does not want to drink -nothing wrong with that! Similarly Nahar needs to learn a few things to please Saloni as well...

Edited by xyzzee - 06 March 2006 at 10:44am

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ramas

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ramas

I-F Creative Head

Joined: 03 February 2006

Posts: 36772

Posted: 06 March 2006 at 1:35pm | IP Logged
I totally agree with marriage should be between two pepole coming from similar background i mean socially as well as intelectualy. It hurts too much to have a totally different partner and not willing to compromise in any way. Our cultureaas well as many social pressures prevents one not to think in terms of divorce and have to drag life with so many regrets.

respect123

Goldie

respect123

Joined: 21 December 2005

Posts: 1499

Posted: 06 March 2006 at 8:09pm | IP Logged

Originally posted by ramas

I totally agree with marriage should be between two pepole coming from similar background i mean socially as well as intelectualy. It hurts too much to have a totally different partner and not willing to compromise in any way. Our cultureaas well as many social pressures prevents one not to think in terms of divorce and have to drag life with so many regrets.

Oh God ... I can go on and on - on this topic. I completely agree that Caste/Religion/Sect are different but class and a certain social upbringing are completely different matters. I won't say financial because I have seen (and am friends with) many who come from a financially poor background but due to their own education and friends have molded themselves according to a certain "culture/class" pattern - for good for for worse Tongue

Which is why I deplore the storylines of so many Indian movies which glorify a fantastical image of 2 people (typically rich versus poor) falling in love and living happily ever after... but from personal experience... this leads to strife ...more often than not.

Again I stress... am not talking small adjustments like hobbies, lifestyle or personality traits.

Am talking diverse cultural backgrounds. These differences create bigger problems than even religion or caste or financial backgrounds !!

 

akirola

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akirola

Joined: 20 April 2005

Posts: 28

Posted: 07 March 2006 at 5:36pm | IP Logged
I think the marriage btwn Nahar and Saloni is a work in progress. Yes, they are different but in their differences they are bridging 2 wrlds together. I think they have a good marriage. Clap

Minnie

IF-Veteran Member

Minnie

Joined: 20 September 2004

Posts: 8640

Posted: 08 March 2006 at 10:14am | IP Logged
This is a fantastic topic, so I am moving it to the debate mansion as well.

Aparna_BD

IF-Dazzler

Aparna_BD

Joined: 01 July 2005

Posts: 4926

Posted: 08 March 2006 at 11:48am | IP Logged
Very interesting topic !! Clap

I personally feel that marriages which have common grounds on most factors do better in general !!

Yes you do have odd marriages here and there where the Couple are poles apart but still have a happy marriage !!

But generally relationships that have similarity on some levels like social values , maybe religous beliefs , some other beliefs , where a couple has found a common ground over an issue that he/ she feel strongly about will statistiaclly have better chance of "happy marriage!"

devashree410

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devashree410

Joined: 03 December 2005

Posts: 28

Posted: 09 March 2006 at 11:52pm | IP Logged
Ermm I think it depends on the type of person.If they are ready compromise and adjust to some extent.Of course,both have to adjust a little with each-other but it does not necessarily mean that you have to change completely.I have seen so many couples who completely different,from different backgrounds and are happily married.

parry02

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parry02

Joined: 05 April 2006

Posts: 1

Posted: 05 April 2006 at 4:10am | IP Logged
I am married to someone from Bombay (i'm from UK) he is a lovely person - and he has adapted himself -
I think in our marriage he's been more understanding , loving and very ambitious - wanting to move on has made our marriage a sucess -

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