Balika Vadhu


Balika Vadhu
Balika Vadhu

selfish kaki selfish beti (Page 3)

woman11 Goldie

Joined: 10 May 2011
Posts: 1230

Posted: 29 November 2011 at 9:23am | IP Logged
The main problem Gauri and her mother has is that they think Gauri is the most wronged person in the world and thus wallow in self-pity. So according to them--nobody is sadder than Gauri, nobody is more dukhiyari than Gauri, everybody does injustice to Gauri, only Gauri feels pain, Gauri is the greatest victim of all, the whole world is plotting against Gauri, Gauri is the epitome of all virtues and she is perfect and yet everybody slams her for no reason etc etc. If you listen to Gauri's dialogues carefully, you will see she always harps on her own sorry state and her victim hood and displays an intense form of persecution complex. Thus, while shouting on Jagya for his Anandi rescue mission, Gauri's argument was that she was in a more sorry state than the kidnapped Anandi, hence she deserved more of Jagya's attention and sympathy. Even when Jagya left for Jetsar, the way she sat and mourned like a stone and the way her parents sympathized with her, made her feel like Jagya has wronged against her---not even once realizing that it was all her fault that she went to taunt Jagya about Anandi's elopement. She always imagines herself as the greatest victim and hence wants eternal sympathy--in fact her hatred for Anandi is primarily based not on Anandi's success or Jagya's love for her, but because Anandi gets to be called a greater victim than her and gets more sympathy.

Now, a necessary consequence of such severe persecution complex is that one never looks at one's own actions and instead blames everybody else. Gauri too thinks she is perfect and hence everyone else is at fault----the Singh family, Jagya and most importantly Anandi, but never ever herself. Significantly enough, instead of making her see her own actions, G's parents actually encourage her self-pity  and makes her feel that she is the most wronged against woman in the world. If you notice, all the other characters in BV, at some point or the other, have reflected on their own actions and have realized their own faults. Dadisa has done that, Anandi has done that, Bhairon and Sumitra has repented, Basanth has repented, Anandi's parents have realized their own mistakes and even Jagya has realized his maltreatment of Anandi. But the only person who has never once reflected on her own actions or realized her own fault is Gauri.  The only time she seemed to regret her decision was when she declared in the mandir that it was a mistake to marry Jagya. Even there, she was not being self-critical or realizing her own fault, rather she was hollering about the magnanimity of her own victimhood and how her life has been ruined by Jagya!!
People who refuse to look into themselves go on blaming others, thinking the whole world is plotting against them for no reason. There can be no greater blindness than the inability to look into one's own self.

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anshansh Senior Member

Joined: 06 July 2011
Posts: 890

Posted: 29 November 2011 at 10:54am | IP Logged
 i promptly agree such people like gauri should repent for her actions and the way she insulted anandi by saying "chulechauke wali ' it was the worst thing to underestimate anyone and who gave her so much authority to speak in singh family who r so cultured it is jagya who is cause bcoz he himself is spoilt man  so both gauri jaga compliment "
once he said to gauri that im the only son one day my parents will consent my marriage '
but true people like bhairon threw him out to support right person  what wrong perception he had of his father who never dors wrong he never understood his own parents what a pity and gauri is crying bcoz anandi was not thrown out of haveli by singh's  and this she said to bhairon that u support ur bahu than ur son howmuch he is wrong this means both wanted their sins to be appreciated by singh family u croons u shud be hanged

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jhansijhansi Groupbie

Joined: 24 November 2011
Posts: 164

Posted: 29 November 2011 at 11:02am | IP Logged
Originally posted by tanvismile

Who did the mistake n who is getting blamed,the picture is dat kareena shuld be blamed for maring saif Becoz he had maried amrita ,gauri never knew jagya anandi past,no one is responsible for anandi pain .except her parents,society.

All problems that A faced during her  childhood was only because of her parents, for her situation now is completely different one of the reason might be her parents, but most of it is because of J and G and her parents...G after knowing that a person whome she loves is already married and was living with his wife  not only in his childhood but also during all these five years when she was  in love with him...G and her parents did cheat A by not telling her before she getting married to J, when they thought what they did was right, why did they not ask A and J parents about G getting married to J.  G always says that choti se gaun se aye ho...didn't she know who the BVs in villages are treated and what is the life for them...nothing but only their husband and what will happen to A if J leaves her...did she ever tried to convince J and make him aware of what will happen to A's future if he leaves her instead of that G is trying to say that she went away with sharavan...hate G and her parents... dusri aurath se bath math karna, but dursri aurath ki meharbani se him aap sab enjoy karahe hi sheharme...

will G allow when J goes with some other girl now if he says she is not right for for new rule, true love can come at any time  or with any number of people...

look how her mother is talking to J...where is G now...when A parents were talking to J she shouted at them where is the right for you to talk to J like that...just waiting when will J ask all these questions to G and her parents...

no one will support J, but G and her parents pretend as if they are mahan and really matured why could not they think about A before getting G married to J...A is still in place of G...they are showing  sympathy for G instead of A...

J, G and her parents all them should be punished terribly those who are watching them  should not dare to do such mistakes in life and not encourage them...

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larki_punjaban IF-Rockerz

Joined: 16 May 2008
Posts: 8509

Posted: 30 November 2011 at 6:48am | IP Logged
i hate gauri and her family 
tanvismile IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 06 August 2009
Posts: 11845

Posted: 30 November 2011 at 7:04am | IP Logged
G hasnt realised her faults,faults wil be clear when she wil see reality,she has misunderstood anandi,she finds it strange dat his family hates him so much,she has seen his family doesnt even listen to him,doesnt allow him to talk,anandi has filled so much hatred against j n total sympathy for her ownself,she loves j ,plus she has also seen him respecting A so much,that she also feels jealous,cant imagine dat he cud something very wrong n neither anandi havnt uttered a bad word agaisnt jagya,curently they r asking him just to abide by the promise which he took at the time of marriage.
hooked IF-Dazzler

Joined: 19 January 2011
Posts: 2542

Posted: 30 November 2011 at 11:17am | IP Logged
I actually know a mother daughter pair who can't see anything beyond their noses and so can completely see where G's mom's comments and concerns are coming from. This lady wud fetch the moon if her daughter asked for it - truly !!

Everything will be Me and my daughter and her happiness. Some people can't think, see and feel beyond themselves -that's all. Gauri's mom is not just now like this. She was like this since she married off her beautiful,smart little girl as a second wife to a rich family's only heir - all for the sake of some money. When the Mahapanchayat nullified the wedding - it was G's mom who chose to abandon her terrified kid outside the Haveli n be rid of her. 

As a grown-up when G was making a mistake by wanting to marry a pre-married man (let us for the sake of logic assume child Jagya and Jagat are 2 separate people), G's mom, hesitated for a bit but again gave in - NOT HAVING LEARNT ANYTHING BY HER PREVIOUS MISTAKE !!?
The last time - DS had lied - saying the first wife had become insane and these guys believed everything w/out bothering to meet the family or the existing wife. This time too - they agreed to Jagya's lies w/out meeting the family or seeing a lawyer ??!!

They made their bed - now they must lie in it...marry a liar - live with his lies.

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tanvismile IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 06 August 2009
Posts: 11845

Posted: 30 November 2011 at 11:49am | IP Logged
For every mother their priority is their child n dat comes first ,if dat is called selfishnes we r fine with it,to protect ur daughter frm getting hurt is selfishnes,fine she is selfish,say anything u want.the only things ul can see is anandi pain,u know when a person has to scream out its feelings wen no one understands them ,they get forced to tel their feelings i m talking g s feelings to wards haveli people,that results into frustation ,i m happy dat anandi is getting lots of love ,hope she gets more n more love.lucky gal.
Panchi_Joon Groupbie

Joined: 19 November 2011
Posts: 143

Posted: 30 November 2011 at 10:40pm | IP Logged
Love and respect  are two things which can not  be showered just like that one have to earn it . Anandi earned it by her loving nature, patience and ability to respecte other people. Gauri failed to earn it because firstly she was going to earn a place which was already given to A, secondly she , ok one have to shout sometimes when frustrated but there is a way for everything , she was there in the Haveli when everyone was against her so most important was what " patience". Its right that every mother thinks only about their children but i would say it is here where parents are wrong. To love your children is one thing and to show the right path and to teach the sense of morality, humanity, ability to take the right decision without hurting others, stand for your self respect at the same time respect others , tolerance , patience are some of the most important thing that a child learns from ones parents. Just to do whether right or wrong thinking only for short term happiness is blind love with no good effect.
My mother also loves me but never ever allowed me to do anything which hurts others. one eg from my life. My sister loved a boy whom she met in train. THey conveyed their feeling to their own parents. After that they became very close to each other but after two years of relationship one girl called us and said that she is the girlfriend of my sister's boyfriend. everything just changed. My sis asked her bf regarding it atfirst he lied but later afetr presurring conveyed that they were about to marry when he met my sister and found her more suitable. After lots of meetings, quarrels , discussions my sister decided to be with him. He even said that he loves only my sister and will always remain loyal to her . But his parents refused to accept my sister. Here my mother made my sister understand the importance of life, marriage, family acceptance. She said my sister to think about that girl who also was mentally prepared to marry him and that how much she must be hurt and that my sister should first of all talk to that girl clear the things up and then try to convince the boys parents if things between the girl , the boy and my sister is cleared, only then my  sister can marry the boy of her choice. Until then my parents didnot give their consent neither fall for the boy promise ( as his words were like that of J) My mother evry moment made her think all the sides before decideing, made her mentally strong. After this my sister refused to marry him till everything is settled. After four years of wait when finally the girl got settled in her life with another boy and all the members of the boy's family accepted my sisand he fulfilled all the conditions in order to earn love and respect from my parents then only my parents married them off.
Here i want to say that if one wants to be strong he or she can be . A mother's role should be like this think about your daughter but at the same time also thing about others.
Soory for such a long post.

Edited by Panchi_Joon - 30 November 2011 at 10:48pm

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