What is it that he wanted to me to say? Why does he keep asking me whether it matters to me or not. He told me on Diwali night that I don't matter, nothing about me matters. Then why is he pestering me? Khushi thought to herself sitting outside. She looked at stars as if searching for her parents and answers to questions she wanted and confirmation to answers to questions she thought she knew. Why does he hate me so much? Why does he have to always hurt me? Why does he keep reminding me that I am not rich? When did I ever ask for any favor from him then why is he so brutal?
Arnav sat outside gazing at stars and wondering why Khushi matters so much. Her tears penetrate into his soul and wound them. The pain in her eyes has become agonizing and why should he be so anxious? Though he pretended to not know the answers to his questions, deep down he knew the answer. He loves her and the thought of losing her was killing him. He knew what he told her on Diwali night was a lie but why did she get engaged? Why is she not affected by his money and power? He can buy everything in the world that she can dream of but even then she is not affected, she is still not breaking. He even faked concern for La to see if that breaks her but even that did not break her. He admired her resilience deep down but his ego was not letting him accept that a middle class girl can put up such a fight. She refuted every logic he knew of; he can buy anyone with money and no one can resist a man as powerful as him. She seemed to be another breed.
Arnav's words still echoed in her ears, "tumne kya socha ek amir admi tumhari payal ko seene se lageye baitha tha..". When did she even accuse him of that? Deep down she felt that he loved her but his pride will never let his emotions accept her. She was not worthy of Arnav Singh Raizada. Tears rolled down thinking of how far-flung her love is and that he can never be hers. He was going to marry La and forget that he ever met her. How is she supposed to forget this rakshas, who is also her first love? How is she supposed to spend her life with a stranger whom she neither loves nor she can ever love? Arnav was rude, harsh but she still loved him. Khushi walked inside and tried to sleep. Tomorrow was another day where she has to again put up a faade and bear everything he makes her go through with a smile on her face. She cannot let him see how much he hurt her or affect her.
Arnav on the other hand could not stop thinking of what Khushi said, "Sapnon ki duniya main rehna he acha hai kyunki haqeekat ki duniya main dil toote hain." His eyes were moist thinking of all the pain he has caused her. He closed his eyes and wondered if he could really bear the pain of losing Khushi to someone else? Can he really get over her? Was he really that strong? Maybe he can put up a face in front of people but the thought of spending his life without her choked him. He never imagined in his life that love can happen to him but ironically it did. She was everything he did not want in his partner; she said what she felt right without fearing him, he cannot control or manipulate her and most importantly his money and power did not matter to her. But he cannot deny the fact that she is the only person who can understand him and has touched him in places no one can even enter. She has definitely made a special place in his heart and he hates to admit this but his heart did not belong to him anymore. He lay on his bed tossing and turning. First time in his life, he did not know what he wanted. Deep down he knew that he wanted her and maybe it will make him weak and human but he was not sure anymore if living a life without her will be worth living or not.
Next morning Khushi entered RM. She hoped and prayed that Arnav was not home but to her dismay as soon as she entered she saw Arnav. He looked exhausted and tired. He informed Khushi that no one was home, nani and Akash have gone to distribute cards , Anjali, La and Mami had gone for shopping.
Khushi, "Hum chalet hain. Please ask them to call me once they reach home. I will come later."
Arnav, "Di wanted you to take care of sweets menu and some other things. She will call you later and provide all details. They will be back soon so you don't need to leave now."
Khushi hesitantly decided to stay back and complete what Anjali wanted her to complete. She was sitting and going thru the choice of sweets menu to decide what they should order.
Arnav softly said, "Khushi do you know what you are doing? Are you sure that marrying the guy you are marrying is the right guy?"
Khushi: "Why do you ask this and how does.."
Arnav: For once let's spare each other the trouble of showing indifference. Please Khushi have you thought thru your decision.
Khushi wanted to be rude to him but she had been bottling this pain inside her for so long that she needed to talk to someone. She softly said, "From where I come we don't decide our destinies, our family does. My buaji forced me to get engaged to Shyamji because she believes that my father wants me to marry him. I 'I don't want to get married (tears rolled down her eyes). I always imagined marriage to be'."
Arnav: What did you imagine?
Khushi: Nothing. Are you sure what you are doing to Lavanyaji is right?
Arnav: What is wrong? She will have money, the honor of being my wife, Mrs.Raizada. What else does she need?
Khushi: Her husband's love?
Arnav: How can you ask me that question? Will your husband be blessed with the honors of being your love? My life has always been like this. Why are you ruining your life? Why are you marrying a guy if you don't want to? Tell him that you don't want to marry him. You don't hesitate to tell me anything you want then why can't you tell him that you don't want to marry him.
Khushi: I did but he insists that we should get married for the sake of my family. Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and return to our childhood. I wish I had never grown up.
Arnav: What do you want from your life?
This question suddenly filled Khushi with the urge of sharing with him what she wanted from her life. She needed to hear it herself. Sometime she wondered if she has forgotten what she wanted from her life.
Khushi with a big smile on her face, "Do you want to know what I dreamt of(Arnav nodded with a smile). It's crazy but I will tell you. It's been a long time even I remembered what I wanted from my life. I wanted to get married to a very nice man who will love me a lot and will take care of all my wishes. When I will get angry he will mollify me and when he will be angry I will dance and sing to make him smile. Jiji will also get married to a nice guy. We both will call each other and talk about our husband's and in-laws. I always wanted to build a home on love. I always dreamt that my home will be lit with the light of our love. I always wished that my husband would love me so much that he would come drawn to me whenever I am around. (Giggling) How much ever smart he is when I am around all his sensibilities will go down drain and he will only think with his heart. I only dreamt of a life filled with happiness, love and tranquility." (sighed)
Arnav lost in her words replied, "What did you expect him do to for living?"
Khushi: I don't know, maybe sell sweets or do something.
Arnav chuckled at her innocence.
Arnav: Will you ever fall for a ruthless businessman?
Khushi still lost in her dreamland instantly replied, "I am in love with a sad and ruthless businessman but I have realized he is not all that bad."
Khushi not realizing that she just confessed her love for him was still lost in her reverie.
Arnav stunned at what he heard and also delighted. Was it all that bad to lose his control and live life the way it's supposed to be?
Arnav: Khushi you are in love with a sad and ruthless businessman? Not many people fall in this category.
That's when Khushi realized what she confided. Embarrassed by her behavior she wanted to leave but Arnav held her wrist and walked closer to her and whispered in her ears, "I too am in love with a silly, innocent, vivacious girl who fights with me for every small thing. I am not sure if I am indeed the man of her dreams but it may not be a bad idea to give me an opportunity to prove myself. I may indeed not be that bad."
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