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Should marriage between same last names be allowed

SheVi4life IF-Dazzler

Joined: 07 July 2009
Posts: 2901

Posted: 24 November 2011 at 10:19pm | IP Logged
My friend and his girlfriend have been going out for 6 years...for 6 years they kept it a secret and now their families are talking about their marriage..but my friends family is a highly religious hindu family and are restricting this marriage because they both have the same last names..DO you guys agree that same last names cannot marry?..
I think same last names should be allowed to get married because having the same last name does not mean that you are brothers and sisters..There are so many common last names..that does not mean that theyr all brothers and sisters...the reason why the families are restricting this marriage is highly ridiculous and not fair at all..

nd i want additional answers, if anyone has them?
does anyone have more information about what hinduism says about marriage between same last names?..and what is the significance of gotra system..

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AlexithyMia IF-Dazzler

Joined: 11 December 2008
Posts: 4204

Posted: 25 November 2011 at 1:45am | IP Logged
Well marriage b/w the same surnames is not a problem. Even my mom n dads surname ws d same bt still they re married AND happy. so its not a problem unless d 2 r happy wid each other
Arwen. IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 30 September 2008
Posts: 13631

Posted: 25 November 2011 at 4:18am | IP Logged
I don't know much about gotras and all other than what my friends told me a couple of months ago ... IF your friends have no kinship (as in no common relatives for several generations) than it might be easier to convince the mother LOL .. There was also something about 8 rashis and hence 8 gotras and u can't marry into the gotra to which either of your parents belonged Confused 

Personally .. I dont really understand what's the big deal is but apparently it is India .. I guess it was a method of preventing in breeding but if two people are in love and happy together than they should get together Smile
PemaKarpo IF-Dazzler

Joined: 30 June 2010
Posts: 4267

Posted: 25 November 2011 at 5:19am | IP Logged
I don't know why there must be a problem with two people of the same surname getting married. Kareena Kapoor and Shahid Kapur were going out(changing spellings will not alter the surname) and then Karisma Kapoor got married to Sanjay Kapoor.
There are UP Sharmas, Kashmiri Sharmas and Punjabi Sharmas. That does not mean they are brothers and sisters. It is just a family name. Family names in India do not denote a unique parental lineage. Infact, this is the first I have heard people of name family names should not get married.
If you are talking of the same gotra, then there could be a problem, not because they are related in any way, but because the mindset of people in such.
Earlier, people of the same gotra were not allowed to get married because their communities were small and the chances of them being related were high. But now a days, our community is large and I don't think such a problem will occur.
If the parents are worried about the children born out of such an alliance, one can always get a medical test done and appropriate measures can be taken so that the children born do not suffer genetically.
If it's because they are conservative, then there is a remedy for that too! The kanyadaan, instead of being performed by the girl's parents, must be performed by one of the girl's aunts whose gotra is different from that of the girl's gotra.
Hope your friends get married and do not have to suffer because of groundless views.

Edited by Petrouska - 25 November 2011 at 5:31am

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TheUltimate Senior Member

Joined: 19 July 2010
Posts: 783

Posted: 25 November 2011 at 7:50am | IP Logged
If this would have been a problem, what would Patels, Kapoors, Johnsons, Smiths and Khans do?

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hindu4lyf IF-Rockerz

Joined: 25 March 2008
Posts: 9352

Posted: 25 November 2011 at 5:03pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by TheUltimate

If this would have been a problem, what would Patels, Kapoors, Johnsons, Smiths and Khans do?

Lol, exactly! I don't quite understand the reasoning behind Patels wanting to marry other Patels (and that too a certain type of patel, not just any one!). Something to do with the Gham? Although this doesn't just happen with Patels but also with Naiks, Shahs etc.

Thankfully, surnames, castes etc have never been a problem in my family! Such things just make life so complicated!

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blue-ice. IF-Addictz

Joined: 04 March 2009
Posts: 55450

Posted: 25 November 2011 at 5:36pm | IP Logged hubby and I have the same last name...and we have been married for 20 years now and have been blessed with two wonderful kids...never heard about this thing about people with the same last names not marrying...i see only good coming out of it...u don't have to change ur last name on license, passport etc.

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White..Magic IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 16 August 2010
Posts: 15680

Posted: 26 November 2011 at 12:32am | IP Logged
I dnt think there is a problem with same surname. Thousands of families on this earth have same surname coz of same caste. But some of families who r highly religious. And we know such families exist. They think people with same surname r brother and sister and for them accepting such kind of relationship means breaking low or rules of religion. And i must say such kind of families r orthodox minded. If a guy and gal really luv each other than i think they have to go against their respective families else end the relationship on happy note.

Edited by -ASTHA- - 28 November 2011 at 9:39pm

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