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Tumhari Disha
Tumhari Disha

Should past be past?

bluejalpari Goldie
bluejalpari
bluejalpari

Joined: 01 March 2005
Posts: 2008

Posted: 16 March 2005 at 12:20pm | IP Logged

 

  Hi dear TD lovers

       From the updates we had recently ( thanks to Lata and Disha..God what would we do wthout them!!! )  ....there is this situation where DK has confessed love to disha...and yet he has not disclosed his past affair with Parineeta to Disha( hopefully thats the only woman and not a string of lovers he left behind) ...

      I find this situation to be very real as I know lot of my friends who had affairs and then married someone else..without disclosing past flames. I personnaly feel its wrong to do that..but my hubby feels that past is past and you should not mix it with present. Though I agree that past should not disturb present...as a wife/steady girlfriend I would definitely like to know who was there in my guys life before me...before i come to know of it from someone else or from some stupid diary.

    I would like to know your opinions on this..since we all are members of the same forum with a common liking to TD ..me and my hubby had a very emotionally tumbletown time of our lives when this topic came about..any opinions?

  Bluefish

Asian Princess Goldie
Asian Princess
Asian Princess

Joined: 01 January 2005
Posts: 1732

Posted: 16 March 2005 at 3:10pm | IP Logged

I don't think DK actually had a affair with Parinneta i think it was her just crazy over him e.g. another sanya loll LOL because he did say to vedant that he done nothing to parineeta and jusitfied himself and his innoncence!!!

I wonder whos side disha will take dk or vedants ? anyone got any ideas ?Confused

Because now vedant is her close friend and has specially come to seghal house to help her where as dk is her husband who she finally thank god acknowleged as her husband !!!Big smilelolll- thats a tough one !!!

sesky Groupbie
sesky
sesky

Joined: 21 February 2005
Posts: 102

Posted: 16 March 2005 at 4:00pm | IP Logged

Interesting topic bluefish. I likey!

You know, relationships are funny things. They dont always work out. Sometimes you have to go through a string of bad ones to finally find the rightish one. Basically, what im trying to say is everyone has a past. We've all loved and lost and then loved again. Hopefully though, when one gets married, its for keeps and all those past relationships just fade away into some distant corner of ones memory. In that regard, bluefish, id have to agree with your hubby. The past is definitely the past and should/does bear no significance on ones married present. However at the same time a husband/wife should ideally share the kind of relationship where they can both discuss each others past without haing a total conniption fit! Lol. That is not to say that the topic of exes is a particularly safe or pleasant one, lol. But a brief overview of your life partners previous relationships might not entirely be a bad thing. Phew, all that typing!! Me exausted!

Anyways, as far as the whole Parineeta thing is concerned if DK did have an affair with Parineeta, and Disha wants to know about it, i think DK should tell her. She has a right to know. Disha, upon knowing though, has no right to 'have a cow about it', so to speak. Because, again,the whole past is past thing comes in. As long as the past is not meddling with ones present, whats the harm in acknowledging that there was indeed a past, that remains well and truly buried. Now lets just hope this parineeta stays buried!! Amen!

sarina_202 Senior Member
sarina_202
sarina_202

Joined: 15 January 2005
Posts: 798

Posted: 16 March 2005 at 5:16pm | IP Logged
i agree w/ you 100%...whether the partner wants to know or not..i think the partner needs to know no matter what...
dkaddict Senior Member
dkaddict
dkaddict

Joined: 21 January 2005
Posts: 610

Posted: 16 March 2005 at 7:05pm | IP Logged

Whether or not a couple wants to purposely sit down and go through the past together is up to them, but if it comes up at some point, in any way, it should be discussed. There ought not to be secrets. A lasting relationship requires a strong foundation of openess and honesty, and if one asks, the other should be willing to answer.

We should not feel hurt about what's in the past if it is truly done and over with, but how can we not feel hurt if our supposed life-partner wants to keep something from us? Then trust is not there as it should be.

I think it'd do DK's and Disha's relationship a whole hell of a lot of good if DK just sat down with Disha and thoroughly explained himself to her. Even if she is bothered a bit by some things, she should soon come to the realization that it IS past, and if he did do something wrong, he is not necessarily the same guy anymore. She should appreciate his openess and honesty. Unfortunately, this probably won't happen, and there will just be further misunderstandings. Got to keep the show going some how!

My 2 cents...

-DKaddict

swathi Goldie
swathi
swathi

Joined: 18 February 2005
Posts: 1311

Posted: 16 March 2005 at 8:31pm | IP Logged

Hi , I agree with ur husband to a certain extent. Past is Past and you should not really dig into them. But then again it depends on individuals. There are some people who when they come to know of their partners pas tend to just think only of that and try to link it up with every possible thing. There is no use revealing your past to these people. But when the other person can take it in their stride then yes, its better than you tell them rather than they getting it to know about it from other sources. Finally its each individual's call

 

 

AALIYAH786 Goldie
AALIYAH786
AALIYAH786

Joined: 12 January 2005
Posts: 2188

Posted: 17 March 2005 at 1:04am | IP Logged

Honesty is definetly the best policy, and its good to be open about all secrets before going into a lasting relationship, and if two people love each other, they must be able to accept their partners pasts, and PLEASE DO DESTROY ALL DIARIES WITH ILLICIT STORIES IN IT BEFORE MARRIAGE- I KNOW OF A VERY DREADFUL STORY OF A FRIEND WHO HAD A STRING OF BOYFREINDS AND SHE HAD ALL THE GORY DETAILS OF THE AFFAIRS IN IT AND THE HUSBAND READ IT A FEW DAYS OF THE WEDDING - THEY HAD A HUGE FIGHT...............YOU DON'T WANNA KNOW ABOUT IT...............

Nishani IF-Dazzler
Nishani
Nishani

Joined: 15 February 2005
Posts: 4566

Posted: 17 March 2005 at 1:43am | IP Logged

i do agree that the past should be spoken about - it is better than the wife/husband finding out from someone else!

but what if the husband/wife cannot accept that you have a past! what then - divorce???

it would be childish and immature if divorce should ever rear its ugly head but we do have some situations where either spouse cannot handle their other half having other past relationships and it ultimately leads to a separation or a divorce!!

that is why these things should be ironed out before you even start about talking of marriage!

we here in south africa are very open-minded and i have had quite a few boyfriends who i happen to stil be friends with!

if and when i do want to get settled down, my hubby-to-be will definately hear about my past! my past is not that colourful but i still feel it would be better to unburden myself and tell him about it.

THAT WAY IT IS ETHICAL AND MORAL!

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