Sadism...a word not be used randomly UPDATED - Page 6

Originally posted by: Illyria

Please don't apologies i didn't comment here to make you feel like you need to apologize

But i have to disagree with the route you are taking. You should report any posts you feel that a member on the forum is using derogatory words, bashing a character or insulting a character or member, if you do not post this issue wont arise to the MOD, the problem is this forum moves SO FAST thats its near IMPOSSIBLE to keep track of the posts, so reporting is how to bring the problems on the forum to the attention of the MOD.

Sunaina you are correct, the loss is the forums and its viewership that is why i always ask members to report, so the MOD can take the appropriate action, because sometimes when nothing gets done it becomes the norm and people just continue, this is not the route to take.

Again i am not trying to make anyone feel bad, just highlighting how to overcome the issues and get back to how things were (or near enough)

Apologies if i shouldnt say this, not to mean offensive lllyria.

Originally posted by: serialjunkie

Look guys, we agree its a public forum and everyone has a right to express his/her opinion, as long as its delivered in a respectful manner.

I have no trouble reading and understanding the thread on Sadism and I can perfectly see that topic starters pov. She has every right to express her opinion based on her very personal experience.

I know our urge to defend our favorite characters at times override reason and we like to justify whatever they do because of our love for them.

I dont feel any dichotomy or distress in agreeing that while I love the characterization of Regency novel/M&B book heroes, I would personally never be attracted to a person like that. It is very exciting to see an aggressive male protagonist who is capable of strong arm tactics and extreme gentleness when needed. Its a woman's fantasy of perfect romance. But I have no trouble believing that it is this mis-guided notion of romance that gets many women terribly embroiled in abusive relationships. In fact, every book on abuse will tell you that the abuser uses this type of blow hot blow cold behavior to keep the victim wrapped around their pinkies.

So while I enjoy reading Regency novels (and the fact tht IPK is based on that), I even fantasize about such heros, I have no trouble separating that from reality and knowing that I will personally never put myself through a similar stream of humiliations, even in the name of love.

Sadism is sometimes eulogized in romance novels, jealousy is used as a weapon for romance. And as intelligent sensible adults we must all know that this is fiction and reality never works like that.

I hope we can respect the person's opinion, see the truth in what they are saying and yet be secure enough to enjoy the show for what it is. I do not see the conflict of interest at all. I am perfectly comfortable enjoying the show and understanding the cause and effect of abuse.

Every time I make a post on ASR, I clearly state that I am not defending him any way. I just find his character interesting and admire Barun's flawless portrayal.

Every one in the forum has the right to defend or criticize characters. I am not opposing that.

But the point is when you make a post where you criticize ASR...you are bound to receive a lot of comments in his defense.

Why only reply to those who agree with you and ignore any post in made in ASR's defense (with some valid points)? 

If some members oppose to your post, why threaten those members by bringing up your profession?

When you say something it is bound to have some consequences. I made this post and I am ready to  accept any comments or criticisms in response to it. 

I am ready to reply to everyone (though that may not possible) to my post and defend my POV leaving aside my personal/professional life.

Sadism is certainly not the word used for ASR's character! What he's doing is PROVOKING Khushi to accept the fact that she too is love with her! 

Originally posted by: Illyria

Please don't apologies i didn't comment here to make you feel like you need to apologize

But i have to disagree with the route you are taking. You should report any posts you feel that a member on the forum is using derogatory words, bashing a character or insulting a character or member, if you do not post this issue wont arise to the MOD, the problem is this forum moves SO FAST thats its near IMPOSSIBLE to keep track of the posts, so reporting is how to bring the problems on the forum to the attention of the MOD.

Sunaina you are correct, the loss is the forums and its viewership that is why i always ask members to report, so the MOD can take the appropriate action, because sometimes when nothing gets done it becomes the norm and people just continue, this is not the route to take.

Again i am not trying to make anyone feel bad, just highlighting how to overcome the issues and get back to how things were (or near enough)

Maybe I shouldn't have taken this route. I will keep this in mind in the future. 😳

I only made this thread because I really missed the old days of the forum where we used to have so much fun.

I only wanted to express my opinion on this whole issue. 

Originally posted by: Ankifan

Apologies if i shouldnt say this, not to mean offensive lllyria.

We are not saying the character ASr is flawless or anything, their should be discussions and the bad flaws in a character also needs to be pointed out but in a healthy manner, few posts are very disturbing. I myself stopped commenting for a while looking at the hatred here on a particular character. its not healthy for the forum. we can have healthy debates , the good and bad in a character needs to be discussed in a healthy way . 

Everyone wud feel comfortable to post then.

But bringing up personal issues and saying im frm women welfare so im not gonna let this happen to kushi, and fighting for it over a fictional show is not done. daily almost the same thread opens and daily same stuff is written.

Its a fictional show, i do respect ppl who work for such women welfare organizations but fighting for that cause in a forum over a reel life character baffles me.

No offense taken

I agree ASR is not flawless, then again who is, there is reason for this behavior but that does not condone his actions, just because one can understand does to mean one has to agree.  Hatred is a very strong word but as long as it is explained without insult or bashing this can lead to a healthy discussion but a character assassination usually just leads to arguments.

And i agree that people should refrain from using personal accounts on the forum, this is for their security and dignity but unfortunately it is not something that we can control or disallow, if the person wishes to bring personal accounts they open themselves to members making comments on their personal life and then it goes into a another tangent of personal discussion.


@above  - i miss it to, but change happens and its how we deal with and and get past it that we should look towards, nothing remains the same so adjustments should be made, but still we shouldn't forget about what the guidelines are. If everyone works together then we can go back to how things were (albeit not exactly the same way the forum was but hoepfully close enough :))

Edited by Illyria - 12 years ago

Originally posted by: incandescent

Every time I make a post on ASR, I clearly state that I am not defending him any way. I just find his character interesting and admire Barun's flawless portrayal.

Every one in the forum has the right to defend or criticize characters. I am not opposing that.

But the point is when you make a post where you criticize ASR...you are bound to receive a lot of comments in his defense.

Why only reply to those who agree with you and ignore any post in made in ASR's defense (with some valid points)? 

If some members oppose to your post, why threaten those members by bringing up your profession?

When you say something it is bound to have some consequences. I made this post and I am ready to  accept any comments or criticisms in response to it. 

I am ready to reply to everyone (though that may not possible) to my post and defend my POV leaving aside my personal/professional life.

Sure, I see your pov. There are many in the forum who believe ASR is too much. I dont think we can truly expect everything by the book, the show will be bland if we dont show flawed characters. I am not sure why anyone would selectively listen to opinions that suit them. I am open to all pov's and i dont believe in black and white. I think life is a huge gray, where many things happen and we compromise whether we like it or not.

I do think someone's personal or professional experience gives them a different perspective that we not in that profession, may not be privy too. I totally respect that and understand that. I am saying that even if they bring their professional or personal opinion into this and feel strongly about ASR's character, its ok. I am not in conflict over that. I am still able to enjoy the show and still willing to keep watching it. I can fantasize about aggressive anti-hero but it may not be something I can live iwth every day. So I get my vicarious pleasure through the show.

I know when I see abuse, and I just hope young girls who watch the show recognize that its not normal to be subjected to such treatment. Yet, I am able to fall in love with ASR!! I dont know how else to explain this!!!

Originally posted by: tanthya

Radzzz,

U here !!! 😲

🤗 Hi Tanthya, Nice to see u here, I visit this forum read your beautiful posts but hardly write anything as its takes too much of time😃. But some people who are so obsessed with protecting women all around the world especially women of Indian soaps😉😉 just forced me to add my POV. BTW do keep writing those beautiful posts its breath of fresh air special among posts filled with hatered and anger for fictious characters

Hey Fari...commented about your post in Barun AT... not sure if you saw it😊...last post on the page