Arnav knocked on the open door but there was no response and he walked in hesitantly. He saw Khushi's aunt was sitting on the sofa sobbing openly but she was barely being acknowledged by Khushi's parents who were moving around the room carrying various things. They didn't notice Arnav either and so he walked through to Khushi's open bedroom door.
The sound of her name in that husky voice that rings in her ears constantly had Khushi looking up, craving to once again lay eyes upon the face imprinted on her eyelids. Payal looked from Khushi to Arnav awkwardly before she moved towards Arnav and the door, 'I'll just go and help Amma.'
Once she'd left Arnav noticed the suitcase on the bed half filled with outfits he recognised and he felt a sense of dread overtaking him. He walked further into the room trying to pick his words carefully, 'what are you doing? Where are you going?'
Khushi attempted to steady her beating heart and went back to folding clothes and putting them into the suitcase, 'home,' she said simply.
'Home? But this is your home!'
Khushi stopped to look at him briefly before she went back to her clothes. He was right. This was her home, but only because he was there with her. Home was where he was, home was in Arnav's arms, in Arnav's eyes, in Arnav's heart. But that was a home she didn't belong to. A home she had been evicted from before she had even moved in. 'Actually my home is in Lucknow. Staying in Delhi was only ever supposed to be temporary and now that Babuji is better there isn't any reason to stay here anymore.'
'You mean you're leaving? Forever?' Arnav felt that familiar anxiety he felt every time Khushi even walked away from him but this time it was amplified in its intensity and he found it hard to speak.
Khushi forced herself to ignore the panic in his voice, forced herself to ignore the hope that flared in her chest at his words and spoke blandly as she folded the last of her clothes. 'Yes. I'm sure you're happy now. Finally you'll be rid of me completely.'
Arnav felt his anger take over and he grabbed her by the shoulders and turned her to face him. 'Khushi I came to apologise! I know you were telling the truth now! I know Jeejaji tricked you.'
His touch burned her, scarred her, brought back unwanted memories and Khushi pushed Arnav away from her with all the strength she could muster, 'don't touch me!'
'But Khushi...' Arnav took a step towards her but she put out her hand stopping his advances.
'No, I don't want to hear it. So you finally found out the truth? Finally realised that your Jeejaji isn't quite the paragon of virtue you though he was. Well what do you want now? An award? If you'd listened to me you could have come to that realisation a lot quicker couldn't you?'
Arnav felt the guilt he'd been feeling all week rear its head as he again regretted everything he'd said and tried again to speak but Khushi was in no mood to let him.
Khushi finally allowed the bitterness that had been building for months to overtake her, overtake her love and compassion. 'But why would you believe me? I'm just a cheap gold digger ready to sell my body to any man aren't I? Doesn't matter if he's married or not so long as he has money? Isn't that right? Isn't that what you said to me?'
Hearing her repeat his own words back at him hurt him even more than it had hurt him to say all those things to her. He could only imagine how she must have felt when he'd accused her so angrily. 'Khushi, please. I didn't mean any of those things. I was just angry; I couldn't believe what was happening. I'm sorry.'
'You're sorry?' Khushi laughed at him cruelly as she slammed the suitcase shut. 'And what exactly are you apologising for? For ever coming into my life? For releasing that tape from your fashion show? For dropping me from your office? For sending me to a condemned building to die? For believing I would ever try to steal Anjaliji's husband? For humiliating, embarrassing, and hurting me at every possible opportunity? No, Arnav Singh Raizada! You can't possibly say sorry for every single thing you've ever done to me even if you had a lifetime to do it in!'
Arnav couldn't move as he remembered all the events she'd mentioned as well as the hundreds she hadn't. When she began to lift the suitcase from the bed he instinctively reached forward to help her and put his hand over hers on the handle. 'Khushi, don't. You can't leave. Please.'
Khushi pulled the suitcase from his grasp and called towards the door, 'Jiji, are you all ready? I'm finished.'
Arnav held onto her arm again trying to stop her from leaving the room, from leaving him. He knew he'd have to say it now if he wanted any chance of keeping Khushi in his life. He'd have to finally admit the truth that he'd been running away from for months. 'Khushi please, you can't leave me. I love you!'
Khushi stopped abruptly and turned her head to look at him incredulously. 'What? What did you say?'
'I love you, Khushi.' Khushi put down the suitcase as he spoke and Arnav felt a flicker of hope in his chest.
They were the words she'd waited months for him to say, months for him to admit. But now that he had it was almost a hollow victory. She didn't feel any of the joy or elation she'd been expecting at his words. There was only more bitterness and hurt that he could have said all those hurtful things to her. When she wasn't sure of his feelings his words had stung but now that he claimed to love her his words took on new heights of pain. 'Do you even know what love is Arnavji?
'I didn't Khushi; honestly I didn't know what it was before I met you. I was living a cold empty life before you; it was you that made my life worth living Khushi. I can't live without you. I love you, I really do.' He felt relieved to finally admit all the feelings he'd been repressing for so long but she wasn't responding and Arnav was beginning to feel desperate now, desperate for her to return his love, for her to say the words he wanted to hear more than anything in the world.
'Khushi! Come! The taxi's here.'
The sound of Babuji's voice made Khushi remember her promise. She'd promised Babuji she would forget the past and that she wouldn't cry anymore. Everything with Arnav always resulted in tears, always resulted in pain. Khushi looked away from Arnav and she picked up her suitcase again, she wanted to hurt him, she wanted to tell him she'd never loved him, never would but she couldn't. She didn't have it in her to hurt somebody she loved the way he seemed to be able to do to her, 'goodbye Arnavji.'
She walked out of the room leaving Arnav in shock, struggling to breathe normally behind her.
'Shashi babua, please don't go! Please forgive me!'
The loud cries of Buaji awoke Arnav from his shock and he ran out of the room intent on stopping Khushi. He stopped at the front door where Khushi's aunt was almost at her brother's feet begging him not to leave. Arnav watched as everyone ignored Buaji and got into the car.
Khushi was helping the driver load the suitcases into the taxi and Arnav stopped next to her holding onto her arm once the driver had left to sit in his seat. 'Khushi, please don't do this to me. I know I deserve it but please don't punish me like this. Don't leave me. Stay.'
Khushi slowly used her other hand to remove Arnav's hand from her arm and she held his hand between hers. 'Arnavji, I'm not punishing you. I... really I'm not doing this to hurt you. I...' She wanted to comfort him, she wanted to ease his pain but she couldn't. He had chosen his family and his pride over her and now it was time for her to do the same.
She stopped as her aunt came towards them still crying, 'Khushi, please I'm sorry for everything. Don't leave me alone.'
Arnav saw Khushi look from him to her aunt and she let go of his hand to hold her aunt's instead. 'I'm not angry at you Buaji. I know you only had the best of intentions but I can't make Babuji and Amma change their mind. They're still very angry with you but I will try and convince them, I promise.'
She let go and began to walk towards the taxi door when Arnav stopped her again. There were tears forming that he couldn't stop now 'Khushi, please forgive me too. I can't bear it if you just walk away from me like this. I love you!'
Khushi took a deep breath and closed her eyes briefly before she opened them again and began to speak. 'Arnavji, I'm not angry with you either, I understand why you wanted to believe Shyamji over me but I... I don't hate you but I don't... I mean I can't, I can't love you. Not after everything you've done.' She removed his hand from her arm again, sat in the taxi and looked straight ahead focusing on the back of her Babuji's head, but she didn't cry. She didn't cry because she had made a promise to the only man she would ever choose over Arnav.
The taxi began to move immediately as if the taxi driver had been waiting with his foot on the accelerator all this time. Arnav didn't get on his knees and beg or run after Khushi and cry loudly and hysterically as her aunt was doing next to him but inside he was dying.
***
Loosely based on the song Stay by Elisa
I know I said I wasn't going to write anything until this weekend but I wasn't feeling too good today so I didn't go to uni and spent the day in bed with my laptop.
This OS is the result of my crappy mood, obsesssion with Arnav/Khushi and increasing depression about the thought that Arnav will most likely do and say so many horrible things to Khushi when he finds out about Shyam but ultimately she will of course forgive him.
While I can accept that on the show, I just couldn't accept that sort of situation in real life. If it was one of my friends I would be telling her to run a mile in the opposite direction. Therefore this is an OS and it will stay as such no matter how much you plead and beg in the comments :P
I retain sole ownership of all these works of fiction so please do not reproduce or alter my work and claim it as your own on India Forums or anywhere else.
Send me a Buddy Request for future PMs and check out all my other work at my INDEX
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