He sighed. It had become a habit for him to remember her face before drifting off to sleep & wake up in the morning with her name on his lips. He looked again at the crumpled sheets & remembered yesterday's events. He winced. He dint think he even had the courage to go near her. GOD how she must be hating him.
HATE is too simple a word to even begin to describe her feelings towards him. He had always imposed on her bending her to his will never once giving a damn to her likes or dislikes. He recollected the day he had forced her to marry him that too when her dad had been battling for life. Like a ruthless predator he had chosen that exact moment when she would be vulnerable so that she would agree to his contract. After all she needed the money. Even then he had battered her with cruel words calling her a petty wh**e.
He closed his eyes. Did he marry her to exact revenge or did he use that excuse because he simply couldn't bear his Kushi being with another man. Not another man but her lover Shyam, that slime ball who had destroyed everything that was precious to him. He had wanted to ruin both their lives & hence that masterstroke move. But now he realized that it was a pitiful attempt by him to simply bind her to himself. How can he claim that he loved her when he had always been hell bent on making her life miserable. It was ridiculous because every time he tried hurting her, a small part of him died leaving behind only hatred & more pain inside him.
He went dejectedly to his room & got ready to leave for office. He planned to stay late so that by the time he came back she would be asleep in her room & he would not be tortured by her beautiful face looking at him with agony written all over it. A tiny part of his heart however hoped that she would have slept on the couch in the living room so that like the previous time, he could pick her up in his arms, take her to her room, plant a loving kiss on her eyes before leaving for his room.
He was hopelessly in love. Wearily he came down only to find her in the kitchen with a coffee mug in her hand having a forlorn look on her face. He stood staring at her longingly & saw a fleeting expression of pain on her face that made him flinch. She must be thinking about Shyam. He knew it. She had this expression on her face only when she was thinking about him. He clenched his fists & closed his eyes.
"Shyam" How different he was from Arnav. Kushi always had this thought in her mind every time she recollected that fateful day 2 yrs back. One with his sweet talks, phony smile but evil thoughts & the other with a spiteful tongue, perennial frown but kind heart.
"Arnav". Every time she thought of him, she felt a warm, comforting sensation inside her. As if her Devi Maiyya has laid her hand on her head in a reassuring manner. She knew she had hurt him beyond even what Shyam had originally intended. She had broken his trust, his heart & everything that he held precious. Her Devi Maiyya would never forgive her for what she had done to him. Arnav's face flashed in her mind. She could just drown in those chocolate brown eyes for eternity. Every time she had betrayed him, hurt her Arnav, a small part of her died.
"HER ARNAV". She had long since lost that claim on his heart. "PETTY wh**e" that's what he had called her when her dad was in the hospital. She winced even now when she recollected that day. She was worse than even a wh**e. No, once she had finished what she had intended she would leave him forever. He deserved a better person than her. She will speak to Lavanya & then leave forever. She will not see Arnav's face again. The very thought cut through her like a knife & she doubted if she would have the will to live after that day. It was Arnav's face that had kept her going all this while.
Tears rolled down her cheeks. She kept the mug on the table & turned to find Arnav standing with his eyes closed & fists clenched. GOSH. When did he come?
"Arnav" she called out softly. He came out of his reverie & looked at her. He couldn't meet her eyes. I need to leave early for office, so don't bother about breakfast. I will be working late so don't prepare dinner. He turned to leave then stopped. "Are you ok" he mumbled softly. She knew that he meant lots of things in that one sentence. She nodded mutely & he left hurriedly.
She kept staring at his retreating back. Now he has started ignoring his health as well thanks to her. His sugar levels are sure to shoot or drop playing havoc with his health. She gripped the table.
"Hey Devi Maiyya. Why are you doing this to him?". Please take care of him she whispered. But like all her other prayers this one too went unheard & unheeded.
"MOM...".
It was a scream coming from the bottom of his tortured soul. May be he was destined to always love but never to be loved in return. LOVE a word which tore apart people's life, blowing people away like a gust of wind blowing away dead leaves. It made people puppets & made them act irrationally. Love had always given him only pain, emptiness & loss. He still remembered the day SHE had stormed into his life. That fateful day 1 year back when Kushi Kumari Gupta entered his office & his life. Since then he was never the same. A slip of a girl who had brought the mighty Arnav Singh Raizada down on his knees broken & defeated. Kushi whom he hated from the bottom of his dark heart. Kushi the girl whom he loved more than his own life.
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