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Mera BaalVivah kyun nehi hua?

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doyelpakhi

Goldie

doyelpakhi

Joined: 22 February 2006

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Posted: 15 November 2011 at 1:08pm | IP Logged
Now since it's confirmed that JAAN reunion is on the track ( if not complete reunion, at least Jagya is coming back to A) BV has made me realize that how good is to get married in childhood! Smile Bal-vivah is not at all a curse, but if some criteria is met, it's actually a boon!Big smile
Big smile
You see, Singh family of BV has showed us that marrying off your child is not at all bad if you allow your beendni to give examinations every year and if you separate them for few years during adolescenceClap

So what if I have not got the fundamental right to choose my life partner? So what if social conditioning has played a vital role in "loving" someone and I have been taught not to think about any man other than my beend since childhood?

Aree, BV has proved toh that childhood bonds are more stronger than the relationships developed in adulthood!!! Wink The "atmik rishta" ( soul connection), "gehra sambandh" (deep bonding) can only develop over a long period of time! Wink  So it's important that the two persons should start living with each other since childhood - naturally, two children will be good friends and with time it can turn into "saccha pyar"

Even there was a dialogue in BV that when a girl gets married in childhood, the image of her husband gets imprinted in her mind and she doesn't look at any other man!! Kacchi umar ke pakke rishte!

So what if I have to leave my studies and toil in kitchen?
You see, going to school was not an easy task specially in higher classes when there was pressure of studies, weekly exams, and homeworks Ouch How good it would have been if I could spend most of the time at home - after all, I have a beend to tell me everything about the school! Embarrassed  On the other hand, learning to cook and doing household chores is extremely important - if one stays alone, it becomes all the more important! I don't know cooking still now and get bashed by my mom everyday ConfusedSo it would have been good for me, if I would have started doing these gharelu kaam since childhood. We learn things easily when we are children. Big smile

So what if my husband starts having infatuation or start feeling for someone else when he grows up? Aaah!! Infidelity and adultery happens even in all marriages!Sleepy Even people who get married after being adults, cheat the partners. So why blame baal-vivah! In fact, baal-vivah is good you see, because of the development of "soul connection" and "deep bonding"

So what if I find my husband's mentality to be completely different from mine? What if we are pole's apart in character which we got to know after growing up?
 

In every marriage, people have to compromise toh! After all, society has taught us to love our childhood bride/groom and to remain loyal. So even if there is some incompatibility, we are expected to follow the norms of society and fulfill the promises that others made on behalf of us. How can we even think about our own desires or even start using our own brain? Shocked


Seriously, BV team, through the Singh family has taught us the pro's and cons of baal vivah and I must say that they have shown more pro's than cons!!Star

Why didn't my parents got me married in childhood in a family like Singhs?!!!CryCry


Edited by doyelpakhi - 15 November 2011 at 9:29pm

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Dr3viL

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Posted: 15 November 2011 at 5:31pm | IP Logged
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doyelpakhitiny15

hooked

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hooked

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Posted: 15 November 2011 at 8:14pm | IP Logged
I agree Pakhi ! Your parents have not done their job right by you. They shud have made efforts to find a nice family and started looking ever since u were born - 8 years is a long enuf time I mean - they cud have easily found somebody if they had REALLY tried !!

Sach - kitna mazaa aata na ! no thinking about projects, attendance, homework, career decisions...Just learn to make one adrak wali chai and the rest will be taught to you by the loving saasra over time anyways. And you get to dress up prettily and parade around like a queen all day :)

The BV team so far has yet to prove why BV is not such a good idea - am not sure what they r planning to do actually.

Don't know if you've ever read this bengali author Ashapurna Devi. She has a trilogy (national awards for each book) on a generation of women in rural Calcutta who got married off early sometimes with good intentions sometimes by deciet and what they went thru and how they resolved to improve their lives and those of their daughters...That series really made a lot of sense in giving me an insight into how terrible this practice is of uprooting a mere kid from her parents and treating her like a slave and bonded labor for the rest of her life !! this serial is way too frothy Confused

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tinoo

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tinoo

Joined: 30 June 2011

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Posted: 15 November 2011 at 8:42pm | IP Logged
Doyelpakhi -- very well written post ClapClapClap.
 
This latest track was very hard to digest ... and yesterday's precap even more revolting ... that anandi is now back to falling in love with jagya and gazing with moony eyes at his photo.  Just when we thought she was going to move on ... this whole unnecessary regression back to dreaming about jagya.

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doyelpakhitiny15

doyelpakhi

Goldie

doyelpakhi

Joined: 22 February 2006

Posts: 2271

Posted: 15 November 2011 at 9:49pm | IP Logged
Thanks everyone for liking my post ! :D

@hooked -
I am a Bengali and I know about the books :) I have read "Pratham pratisruti" - the first of the trilogy. She has given a realistic picture of the problem faced by women who were married off in the childhood and had to spent their life without any independence.

@ tinoo - thank u dear...seriously, BV team could not show the courage to break the norms !! :X

BV team has portrayed that either you don't get married at all in childhood or else if you get married, fulfill the commitment! In fact, the way they had portrayed Singh family,  they have shown the way how child brides are to be treated and hence BV is not a bad idea at all. After all, kacchi umar ke pakki rishte!!

Forget about J, if we look at Gulli's mother who eloped with her boyfriend before her gauna, suffered at the end. I understand that for a teenager, it's not right to get eloped but then she was only left with the option of being a wife to a person she doesn't love and has to fulfill her duties. In her case, elopement was not a wrong decision. She has not even cheated her "husband" in that sense as she hardly knew him!

Still, she was shown as a silly girl who made mistake of deviating from norms and is punished by fate!! :O


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hookedtiny15

intruderfast

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intruderfast

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Posted: 15 November 2011 at 9:57pm | IP Logged

doyel excellent post , Clapi second u on each and every word

bal vivah is the new cool thing now , i expect olot of ppl to indulge in this nowLOLLOL
 

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Blukitten

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Blukitten

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Posted: 15 November 2011 at 10:00pm | IP Logged
ROFLROFLROFLROFLROFL
Good post...koi baat nahi we  wont let this happen with our kids...sabki child marriage ker do so tht they dont curse us in future LOLLOL
I should start looking out for prospective bride for my 2 year old EmbarrassedEmbarrassed

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doyelpakhi

woman11

Goldie

woman11

Joined: 10 May 2011

Posts: 1231

Posted: 15 November 2011 at 10:34pm | IP Logged
@doyelpakhi: what a great post and I was doubly excited to see a mention of Prothom Protishuti!! I always thought you are a bengali (who else would have a profile avatar named doyelpakhi) but never heard you speaking about it. Yes, that's an excellent book by Devi. @hooked, did you also read the trilogy in Bengali? does that mean you are a bengali too??Tongue

Anyway, moving beyond the bong connection, I think you missed out a crucial part of the val vivah deal. See the val vivah deal works best for boys, especially if he is married off to two girls. So if you have  an underage brother, your parents should marry him off with two girls. That way he will have two girls to choose from when he grows up. And even if one of the girls don't get to stay at your place or grow up with her husband, her belief in her child marriage will remain unshakable. So when the child groom will get tired of his first bride and seek out his second bride after becoming an adult, the second wife will have no qualms in playing his mistress since she will forever believe in the undeniable truth of her own child marriage! Goes without saying that the first bride will also remain forever love lorn and loyal to her husband too, no matter how many kicks she gets from him! Seriously, can there be a  better deal for the guys?? I hope all men start a movement for their rights to child marriage and especially with two brides.
BTW,  I seriously felt like slapping Anandi today for pining for JagyaAngry Either she is growing a thick skin like Jagya and Gauri or she is suffering from severe dementiaAngryAngry

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