spiritcrimson thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago
Hey guys, this is a poem I'd written. Well, it sort of just came to me while I was in a rather, poetic mood. You know, I was enjoying my solitude, and, this just popped into my head, and as I wrote, the words just kept flowing. I don't know how good it is, and so I'm going to post it here. I'd love reviews :D

This poem is about Love, Pride, Redemption and Salvation.



OF LOVE AND PRIDE

They say, you can help not a man to redemption,

Who wishes not to be redeemed;

You can save not a man,

Who wishes not to be saved;

And you can offer no help to a man,

Who wishes no help;

For he, is the pride that speaks.

 

And then within pride,

There is a man,

Who is so in guilt and regret,

For the choices he made are but his sins;

There is a man,

Who wishes for salvation;

Who wishes for his soul to be whole,

For in the darkness, it had scattered apart;

He who wishes nothing but to be forgiven,

He who finds salvation in punishment,

And who ultimately finds redemption;

In every man, is a man who wishes to be salvaged;

 

But he says not, for his pride says not.

 

But she sees beyond the pride;

She sees what he wishes no one to see;

'I wish not to be redeemed,' says he,

But she knows different.

 

'I will be your salvation,' replies she,

He says not a word.

After all, it is what he wishes for, is it not?

And so he says not a word,

And she becomes his salvation; saviour;

She mends his broken soul,

She makes him whole again;

And his regret; guilt; give way to love,

He is forgiven; and he is loved.

 

They say, you can help not a man to redemption,

Who wishes not to be redeemed;

You can save not a man,

Who wishes not to be saved;

And you can offer no help to a man,

Who wishes no help.

 

But she, love; says:

You can help a man to redemption, salvation,

For his heart wishes it.

His pride stops him,

But when pride gives way,

A broken soul speaks,

And wishes nothing but help;

And she helps a man whose soul asks for it,

And so she redeems, salvages his soul;

And makes him whole again;

 

Pride says, 'I need no salvation';

She says, 'Feel love, and salvation shall be yours'.

___________________________________________________________________________

Reviews and like tab are more than welcome :D

Edited by utfracks - 12 years ago

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Posted: 12 years ago
WOW Rachu i didn't know you write poems and that too so beautifully👏

Pride says, 'I need no salvation';

She says, 'Feel love, and salvation shall be yours'.


so true😳


DulceAmor thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
One word Rachna: Wow!

This is seriously an outstanding piece of poetry. The metre is just perfect. It flows so naturally. It carried me along and I got so caught up in it I hardly realised I was reading a poem...it felt more like witnessing the words unfold before my eyes. The story contained in this poem is so beautiful. I truly believe that love can save a broken soul and the way you showed that here...it was so beautiful. Perhaps one of the best poems I have read in a long time. I am going to read it again now. You are truly talented, girl. Hats off to you! 👏