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edited (Page 35)

surprising IF-Dazzler
surprising
surprising

Joined: 06 November 2012
Posts: 3776

Posted: 05 April 2013 at 11:26pm | IP Logged
part1

intro is awesome...& it's sounded like a story...nt novelTongue
eng convo with lines...GOODEmbarrassed

with their hope too...conservative people...
bt natural at all
in those age perhaps princess wouldn't get permission to ruleThumbs Down
surprising IF-Dazzler
surprising
surprising

Joined: 06 November 2012
Posts: 3776

Posted: 05 April 2013 at 11:36pm | IP Logged
I like this story more than ehesaasWink coz short updLOL

part 2

salam to d pmClap
king is broken bt convinced Smile
good storyline as wellStar

...countrymen happy...snapati unhappyWacko
surprising IF-Dazzler
surprising
surprising

Joined: 06 November 2012
Posts: 3776

Posted: 05 April 2013 at 11:50pm | IP Logged
part 3

description of Vanhi's growing up is really beautiful...just like fairy taleStar

1 yr older boy...Rudra??
u compelled me 2 do so...nt false at all
surprising IF-Dazzler
surprising
surprising

Joined: 06 November 2012
Posts: 3776

Posted: 06 April 2013 at 12:02am | IP Logged
part 4:

tiny butterfly?? vry good comparisonClap

a beast never hears prayer- very trueCry

vanhi will become a real vanhi...impressing lineClap

witness of murder...suspenseThumbs Up

with wild animals?? like Mogli??
surprising IF-Dazzler
surprising
surprising

Joined: 06 November 2012
Posts: 3776

Posted: 06 April 2013 at 12:26am | IP Logged
part 5

diff be2n 2 twins-process of taking decisionLOL
good description of 3Clap
unfair discrimination of society...LOL nice realization


two storms like us together         seriouslyROFL

secret pain
suspense againTongue

last line is superbClap

will com on other parts asap...going 2 ehesaasWink


Edited by surprising - 06 April 2013 at 12:26am
Patrarekha IF-Sizzlerz
Patrarekha
Patrarekha

Joined: 14 July 2010
Posts: 13611

Posted: 16 April 2013 at 9:10pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by DeewaniRimi

If you continue this story please let me know...I will surely read this one. on this regard I am giving you my words.


to let one know about update writer must have to pm that person ..and pm can't be sent those who are not on buddy list/pending list/waiting list .specially writer is unable to pm those who removed the writer from friend list..so sorry


Edited by Kadamvari - 16 April 2013 at 9:12pm
DeewaniRimi IF-Dazzler
DeewaniRimi
DeewaniRimi

Joined: 20 September 2012
Posts: 4811

Posted: 01 May 2013 at 1:46pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Kadamvari

Originally posted by DeewaniRimi

If you continue this story please let me know...I will surely read this one. on this regard I am giving you my words.


to let one know about update writer must have to pm that person ..and pm can't be sent those who are not on buddy list/pending list/waiting list .specially writer is unable to pm those who removed the writer from friend list..so sorry

First of all Chill...You don't need to be angry or worried as this is not a big deal.
Next...it is up to readers not WRITER how to read a story...you are writer...please do your job and write the story, develop the drama whatever way you want. Then leave the rest on your readers...now it's there call whether they will read your story or not...if your story has the power to draw the attention towards it and its character ...readers will come and read your story without invitation...as far my words...I will keep them. Don't worry.
And lastly...Don't be sorry...because you didn't do anything to say this.
Btw will you plan to update this soon????
DeewaniRimi IF-Dazzler
DeewaniRimi
DeewaniRimi

Joined: 20 September 2012
Posts: 4811

Posted: 01 May 2013 at 2:01pm | IP Logged
Seriously I want this now.I was reading this story...and after reading this again...now I want this story to continue and end soon...or otherwise instead of Rudra and Vanhi...I will start sword fighting...but with whom?? May be with you Ms Writter in my dreams.And then I will fill all the pages of this thread with my rubbish chants.

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