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napstermonster Goldie
napstermonster
napstermonster

Joined: 06 November 2008
Posts: 1410

Posted: 06 November 2011 at 2:59am | IP Logged
THANK YOU for letting me know  about this new piece, my extremely talented friend! I am savoring your writing, and literally reading each line slowly so I can enjoy the effect you are creating, and the images you are projecting. If you don't mind I'm going to give some suggestions and plot feedback as I read each piece of course assuming you would even need any suggestions, but for now, this has been, as always, amazing!

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Addie07SublimeSanaya

hemvb Senior Member
hemvb
hemvb

Joined: 01 August 2010
Posts: 996

Posted: 06 November 2011 at 3:02am | IP Logged
this is great..cant wait for more;)btw thx for the pm ;)

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Addie07

Sanlicious IF-Dazzler
Sanlicious
Sanlicious

Joined: 05 July 2010
Posts: 2907

Posted: 06 November 2011 at 3:13am | IP Logged
Awesome Lyraa..! Great Concept and seems interesting! Thanx for the PM and do PM me everytime you update Embarrassed

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Addie07

MrDarcyfan IF-Sizzlerz
MrDarcyfan
MrDarcyfan

Joined: 21 September 2011
Posts: 19932

Posted: 06 November 2011 at 3:14am | IP Logged
Nice start! Thanks for the PM!

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Addie07

Dew_drops Goldie
Dew_drops
Dew_drops

Joined: 31 October 2011
Posts: 1839

Posted: 06 November 2011 at 3:18am | IP Logged
Go ahead dr. .update soon n pm me

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Addie07

.Saraa. IF-Sizzlerz
.Saraa.
.Saraa.

Joined: 19 June 2009
Posts: 10787

Posted: 06 November 2011 at 3:23am | IP Logged
beautifull but sad..

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Addie07

moon_mine IF-Rockerz
moon_mine
moon_mine

Joined: 07 August 2010
Posts: 6351

Posted: 06 November 2011 at 3:41am | IP Logged
pls cntinue soon!!!!
n thnx fr the pm!!!!

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Addie07

princessunara IF-Stunnerz
princessunara
princessunara

Joined: 06 December 2007
Posts: 45489

Posted: 06 November 2011 at 4:29am | IP Logged
Hi sweety! thanks for mentioning me but as Badra said the pleasure was indeed mineHug

so u started at a point where the story could go anywhere in any direction..so many possibilities..so many expectations..so many fears..it is a point where all of us ArHi fans love and hate with equal strengths..the moment where Arnav took Khushi to heaven n hell in a matter of minutes...

so here u have explored the aspect of Arnav finding out about Shyaam and lashing out at Khushi and taking revenge from her by staining her name..destroying her life..taking further steps down the same road where Shyam initiated..but due to completely different reasons..may be out of love..or out of pain..towards his sister or towards Khushi herself..

of the entire chapter the few lines that made me cringe were "
But it hadn't been only arnav's mistrust that had brought her here, it was that night when Shyam had destroyed her... it was the night she didn't remember."i dread even the meaning of it n hope against hope that it is not what it apparently seems to be..

"It had almost been fifteen days since that night when Arnav had almost kissed her at the pool side." and reading this line and then coming back to the prologue..seems during these 15 days everyone got to know about shyam and blamed Khushi including Arnav...but the prologue says "To meet that one person she had loved and lost, only to realize that her love was returned." that he soon figures out or finds out that she had no hand in all that happened other than as just another victim in the path of destruction Shyam wove..

what i'm curious to know is "
But it was a lifetime too late. Her life was no longer her own. " what this specific line means...has someone else entered in her life...or has someone entered his...or is it the fateful night of destruction she talks about, the night about which she is as much as in the dark as everyone else is..

so u have definitely managed to intrigue me with the prologue and the rolling out of the story...Do continue soon...

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Addie07tinselSublimeSanaya

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