Posted:
hey guys!!
So..I'm not going to indulge in a serious convo today.
woh sab kal kiya na.
Tonight I'm going to laugh.
It's not easy to pretend in a situation as khushi is in..and i can relate almost identically.
So- first, I demand tight hugs from all!
The next set of hugs go to Khushi..poor bachha. she's suffering so so bad!
but. I won't go beyond this tonight.
Arnav too- is just barely able to control his emotion.. I bet all his muscles are really taut right now due to tension..😆 lucky LA 😆
Okay. The darrpok chupa hua idiot shyam finally came out of hiding..sharmila sharmaya sa😆
Let's go to what happened..tonight..and all those things that didn't..
All I want to say will be through this song
tune jo na kaha
main woh sunta raha
khamakha bewajaah,
khwaab bunta raha
...
dard pehle se hai zyada
khud se phir yeh kiya wada
khaamosh nazrein, rahe bezubaan
ab na pehle si baatein hain,
bolo toh lab thartharate hain
raaz yeh dil ka, na ho bayaan
ho bayaan ke asar koi humpe nahi
humsafar mein toh hai, humsafar hai nahi
door chahat se main,apni chalta raha
khamakha bewajaah khwaab bunta raha
aaya woh phir nazar aise
baat chidne lagi phir se
aankhon mein chhubhta,
kal ka dhuaan
haal unka na humsa hai
is khushi mein kyun ghum sa hai
basne laga hai, phir woh jahan
woh jahan door jisse gaye the nikal
phir se yaadon ne kar di hai jaise pehel
lamha beeta hua, dil dukhata raha
khamakha bewajaah
khwaab bunta raha
And a few lines just coz i can't resist
one moment..all it took was a smile
too artificial now,...laughter hides the cries
the pain hidden deep inside
she smiles..with tears in her eyes
the lesser it is said, the more it expressed
her eyes seemed to literally melt
with pain, etched on her features bright
the beautiful flower named khushi lied
she was happy, i didn't believe for a moment
how could she lie to me, in a tone so blantant
could she not see beyond the mask i put on?
but how could i even expect her to see beyond..?
it couldn't be..I can't let her in
if i did..she'd get under my skin
i had to remove her from there at the nick of time
or it will be too late..and i won't be able to bear it this time
so i make her confront, confident in myself
i hurt her..as well as myself
and then walk away, as i always do
never to return, deemed as cruel
Khushi
Our eyes meet and i withdraw
why can't he let me live in my own denial?
what is wrong with him? I can't. I can't understand any of it. He needs to stop.
i need to leave. Oh, my pallu is stuck...I can't see him looking at me.. those eyes..they show pain..but his actions.. no.,..Khushi, stop it. Don't think. Move..move on. There's nothing left..there WAS nothing ever at all.
Just let it be. Wipe out that memory..that beautiful night and how his eyes looked at you tonight..what was about to happen..and then..everything turned.
Go back home..to normalcy..
I go back in..after feeling like my heart has been battered.
Only to face more questions. I just asked 1 QUESTION..GOD, whAt is going on??
It was 1 question and now everyone will surround me?
Why can't i be left alone to cry in peace and make sense of the mess i'm in right now!?
iJab dekho get in, get out. shut up. what the.
WELL ,WHAT THE??
what does he want?
why doesn't he really leave me alone?
Why don't i hate him??
WHY can't i hate him?
How's that for questions.
I just won't see him now. I won't. Not again. I can't.
The bell just rang..and as usual, it will be me who goes to open the door.
it's him. WAIT.WHAT?? and his look is like- hey, I'm here. again.Can i ask him to wipe out his painful eyes?
because they're really messing with my brain system right now.
breathe in. breathe out.
Shut up. GET out! of my world, my life and my head, Arnav Singh Raizada.
Oh. he's here to give my purse.
My bad. I'll never touch this one after today. Goes into the bad memories label box. Well, at least he returned this one.
ARNAV
okay..When i saw her purse..i knew i will have to return it..I'm not that cheap.
I can keep anklets and bangles and pearls but wallet..well, she'll need that.
and i can see her again.
wHy is she pretending to be happy?
why is she calling my bluff?
can't she simply cry so i can repulse her or just..walk away.
her tears..i can't let go of her beautiful moonlight framed face..her soulful eyes..changed into teary ones..
and her smile..that megawatt smile- a sham, a pretence.
she's lying and denying and now..that i can finally answer her in peace..all her questions/..she doesn't want to know the answers.
FIne..then..jaayee apne aap.
what more can i do?
At least she's unable to see my pain. I'm confident and strong enough to face this setback.
it's not that tough. The marriage is at bay. All i need is time to think..not feel , like i'm doing right now..
Ek toh every time i go home, I now will be plagued by questions- am i ready for marriage..when will i be ready for marriage etc etc..
GOd, i gave them a finger, they grabbed my hand..
families.. at least di should understand..and lavanya..but no. no one does.
Again- All alone.
I found her..who understood each and every thing without my uttering a word and the one time she needed answers..i walked away..fine..ran away from her.
ab kya..bhugto.
ab to ho gaya.
I just hope she recovers from the pain..i know i won't and i know since it's me here..it will just get a million times worse very soon..and that's not a good feeling to have.
Sorry guys..for this jumbled post..haha
but i just wanted the whole thing's intensity to be brought down a notch or two..otherwise we will be sad the entire night😆
yeah..just a bit lighthearted..
love to all!
P.S- B and S deserve standing ovations today..they were AWESOME!!
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