Joined: 28 October 2010
Joined: 28 October 2010
Joined: 28 October 2010
Back in Your Arms is desire to get back to those arms who's owner was suppose to her life, for whom she changed herself, from a ful of life 20 year's young gal to a mature home maker who is happy in her small world , who once dreamt of a sweet dream boy n end up with someone silent and much older then her still without any complaint she loved him and her only wish is to be with him silently as his shadow, this is her'
Har dil mein kisi na kisi ke liye Tamanna hoti hai,
Unki hare k aahat hum me mehsoos hoti hai,
Vo humare dil mein is tarah bass jate hain,
Ke hum saare sama sara jahan bhool jate hai,
Magr har kisi ki Tamana puri kahan hoti hai;
Unhe paake bhi humne kho diya hai..
Arpita was standing by her window with her coffee cup. Revisiting her past.
Her past by her POV:
I still feel like as it happened yesterday, I was in college, with my friends , life was beautiful for me, I was one of most romantic persons in my collage, everyone knows that I live in my fantasy land with my prince charming of my dream, Manjari use to tease me a lot for him , his " would be appearance" how would he look?
She use to say '
"Your prince charming will kiss you whole day as he don't have anything else to do"
"What will you do if your prince would have dark complexion" which I always replied as
"I will love him to cores, if he will love me, complexion, appearance doesn't matters for me."
I never got love in my life from any relation, after mom, dad bring new mom for me, who choose hostels for me in name of studies, fewww, I guess that was only favor she had done to me. Here I met Manjari, my best friend, thought she never left any single chance to tease me, I wish I could live that life a bit longer but I got married before the end of my collage life and before my 21st birthday, and I was Mrs.Avdhesh Singh Thakur after that, Wife of big shot of town or I should address him as god of Lalanpur, he run this town literally; his company give this town bread and butter, He was a nice guy during three months of our married life he never give me any reason to be unpleased, I had big house full of servants to obey my orders, My Husband was not as Manjari wished one for me, He was the most handsome guy I guess in whole town, a god figure for whole down trodden drag of town, He spend each night with me, making love and giving me everything a wife can expect from her husband, but the thing I always expect from my life partner was not in that list, may be because I never dared to utter a word in front of him, may be because he never had time to spend with me except nights, he never sit with me in evenings or in mornings, I thinks its just early hesitation , which we both are caring on our shoulders silently, I want to ask him , how did he agree to marry me, a collage girl, with out any background almost orphan, while he had every thing, he was almost in his thirty's may be that silence was because of that age gap, I know he too was trying to bridge the gap, I can feel his silent admiring gazes while I enter the room and he was there, or while working in kitchen with servant , (she smiled on this) as like last time he saw me kneading dough and struggling with few locks , Sharad kaka came running from his room, to help me with dinner, but I wish he , himself stop me from doing it, or help me by adjusting those strands, how romantic it would be, but now m sure its all will be just a dream for me,
He was not that kind of guy, even after three months I use to call this house, His house, His Rooms, His study, I never called him by any name, except my dreams 'Avdhesh ji' but he never called me by any name not even in my dreams.,
But still I can feel he loves me, may be his love was not so filmy kind of love but I can feel it in his touch, he never kissed me in all these months , never said those magical words, but I know he loves me, now it didn't matter, if he says it or not, or I can ever say it or not, because I know he loves me n now I was used to his silent presence around me, whenever he is around me I feel more secure ,
I can say I am used to him in that short period, and want to see him every morning in front of me when I open my eyes,
Once I got chance to look strait in his eyes, it was our first night,
He came to me sit beside me, I was a bit scared as we didn't met before marriage, I want to ask him for some time to be in any relation, before I could say anything I looked at him, and he was looking at me, at that time I looked strait in those deep baby brown eyes, there was innocence yet maturity, blankness yet some sort of affection which bind me in some kind of spell, I didn't said even a word, I forget everything, my words were lost, my fear was gone.
For some time he didn't said anything then he turn his face away from me and said,
"I know we are strangers for each other, but fact is now we are husband and wife, Hope you will except this relation soon, My family members lives in London, they suppose to be here but for some reasons they can't manage to reach on time, hope you will meet them soon in coming days. You must be tired, take some rest I have some urgent works to finish" And he left me alone, that time I was astonished at his behavior, it was our first night, I want to talk to him., to know about him, and he left me with that excuse, "some urgent work"
I want to cry,
Don't know why, but I felt like crying when he left the room and I cried too, may be I was expecting him to stay with me, to convince me for his love, which he never done. Don't know when I fell asleep crying silently but when I get up next morning find my self in blanket and he was there next to me on his chair sleeping fast, as he slept late night. After that night of course we spend lots of nights together, but without any word, It's like a duty to perform to be a husband and Wife,
But in that duty I feel his love for me, I know he will not say it, may be as I can't say it ,
But now I think I was getting his silence too,
Wish he could hear my silence too, my beats too which are saying every moment that "I want to be with you silently like this for ever." I smiled over my foolish love for him, which I can't be able to express to him ever.
Earlier he use to come around 7 from office but now from last few days its not fixed, may be he is too busy , I will ask him, he was looking so tired last night, he should not work like this, and I have all rights to stop him doing so, bothering my husband by that much work, he has to realize that now he was a married man he had to spend some time at home , with me, or in front of me."
The wall clock struck 10 there was no sign of Avdhesh ji yet, and I was still waiting for him on dinner table. Searching for words if I could manage to open my mouth in front of him.
He arrived around 12 o'clock; I fell asleep by resting her head on table. She woke up by his voice,
"Sharad Kaka, bring some coffee in my room, I had taken dinner at office. Don't disturb me after that."
Arpita woke up in disappointment,
"Great! Next time I will call him on time for dinner, but now its waste to disturb him when he specially mentioned "Do not disturb".
She cleaned the table and put whole dinner in freeze as it was
"Arpita bitiya at least you take it, you prepared it with so much affection" Sharad Kaka said with concern.
"Its ok kaka, I am fine, I am not hungry, its quite late, Aap rehne do, I will make his coffee, you just give it to him, he will not like if I disturb him" I said with a feeble forced smile. Kaka get it, that I will not eat without him, he took coffee and return after few minutes I was taking rest of coffee on dinner table, yes I was hungry but without him I can't.
"You should take dinner on time."
I was surprised, m I imagining or its really him, I hardly dared to look up, yap its Him My hubby, my Avdhesh ji, my heart beat more hardly he is here for me, I tried to suppress my smile, "uuhh, I..I.I" I struggle to find words every time he talked straight to me. I stand up as he is some teacher or something, Oh my god he touched my shoulder, his touch was so gentle yet so warm I can feel it leaving sensation through my soul.
"Don't wait for me after 9 OK, Kaka bring the dinner." He said with so much care while make me sit on chair in front of him, I was like in heaven , looking at him, in his eyes, he was not looking strait to me, Kaka bring dinner but just for me,
"Kaka am not hungry, I am not going to eat alone," I said lowering my eyes.
"Kaka, bring for me too, Aaj double dinner karna padega" he said with a little smile I guess!
"No its Ok you don't need to trouble your self, I m not Hungry really!" I never want to be reason of his trouble.
"May be but I am feeling hungry now. Would you mind if I dine with you" he said looking at me. Oooh I was speechless, he is so cute, and how can I stop myself from smiling now,
After long time we took dinner together, again without any further word, thought It was the tastiest supper of my life, after all he talked to me with so much affection and now he is taking dinner with me just because I refused for it without him. I smiled at my luck and his love for me, I tried to observe his presence as I found him after whole day, he changed his clothes from office coat to cotton Kurta Pajama of dark brown and white, I think he was reading some thing as his reading spect was still on his eyes,, I can't stop my smile of proud to have such Handsome hubby, so what if he never said that he love me but he is proving it now and then, I again tried to look at him by side look, but this time he was looking at me too. I smiled at him shyly, but he didn't return it instead he get up and went to his bed room, I was confused, whether I imagined it or there was really drop of water in his glass, next second I was Happy in return of my smile he get in bedroom, does that mean he want me there with him, he want to love me, may be tonight he will confess his feelings to me, I get up hurriedly asked Kaka to clean up the table, and reached to him,
He was there but not as I was imagining, he was on bed, lights were out, his one hand was stretched to my side and other was on his forehead, He was sleeping.
He was sleeping! How can I miss the chance, I almost jumped on bed next to him and rest my head on his shoulder, this was my deepest desire to sleep in his embrace hugging him tightly, but only desire is to be hugged at the same time. I close my eyes, He took a long breath, I can hear his heart beating, it sound like my name hehe,
"Oh my god , is it dream which I m imagining with open eyes" I can feel his warm arms around my shoulder, and next moment his other hand was on my waist, he hugged me tightly, I wish , I think of a Kiss instead of hug may be god grant it too, but for now I m happy with it, Its my shrine, my world, I can live whole life like this, I don't remember when I fell asleep.
Next Morning I opened my eyes to see him sleeping this time more close then everyday , I still want myself in his strong hold, but he was not there, when I came down Kaka told me he left early morning. How can he left like this without a word to me, and he didn't had breakfast too, its enough now he have to take care of him self too, and today I will tell him to do so,
"Kaka just prepare for lunch today I will take it for him, I am just coming in minute, I will cook it." I asked Kaka to prepare for lunch while I rushed to get ready for today, I want to look nice its first time I am going to his company,
I prepared his favorite dishes and reached his office, I hope he will like this bridle Red, as its just three months and few days so I can call my self newly wedded gal,
I reached his office around 12 its almost lunch time staff was not there but I saw a young gal in short skirt and white shirt just few step ahead to me, I quickly followed her she was carrying some documents in her hand , I tried to reach her, call from behind is quite ill mannered, but before I can reach her she left few papers on a table and entered the cabin,
Oh its His cabin" I get it from the Name plate, she must be some Employee but how can she just enter her boss's room without knocking, I glanced at that table where she left the papers there was another name plate announcing her Name and designation "Simple Parera- P.A[M.D-AST)" so she was his PA haan," I answered my self, and noticed those documents one was some Medical report ,
I know it's not a good manner to read other's latter but its not latter, it's a report what can be there, I just opened it without hesitation.
And later I regret for it,
it was her Pregnancy report, it was positive, she have to be happy but she was looking quite disappointed, but why? Let it be why should I poke my nose in other's matter, I was about to enter the cabin when I hear their conversation, I stopped at once,
"Avdhesh, I have collected the reports, Its positive again" and she break into sobs, I wonder why is she sharing her personal life with her boss and she call him by name "Avdhesh" while I never dared to call him "Avdhesh ji".
Next thing was more then shock for me, it was Avdhesh ji, who replied with concern,
"Don't cry Simple your tears can't change destiny, I wish I knew it earlier"
I dared to open the door a bit and peeped in, I can't bear what I saw there, she was in his arms or I should say he was in hers. I was shocked, I was speechless, don't know they didn't noticed me or they don't care that I was there as I opened the door wide open,
"What would you do if you know it earlier before your marriage, and what about Arpita now?" She asked settling her hair, and for salt on injury he wiped her tears.
"if I knew it earlier, I would never married her, and now I don't have any choice except divorce" I can't believe on my ears, I thought he loves me and here he is regretting to marry me, more than that he wants to divorce me. I feel like floor beneath my feet were melting I tried to say something but before that my head started to spin and I loose conscious'
Tamanaa thi ke ik Yaar mile,
Jaan se zyada jo chahe wo pyaar mile,
tum mile kuch yun ki tumse pyaar ho gaya,
Jo na chaho humko to bhi gila nahi,
Tum sang jo guzra vo ek lamha bhi
Zindgi se badhke ho gaya
That's all for first update
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Joined: 28 October 2010
Joined: 28 October 2010
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